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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Hyper-sensitive DD. Will she always be this way?

27 replies

poorincashrichinlove · 31/01/2014 11:35

DD(7) was identified as G&T in her reception class when she was reading Y2 books with ease etc. She's our first child so without prior knowledge we didn't really know that she was particularly bright (although she would memorise my shopping lists at age 2!). What was more notable, and if I'm honest, more difficult to deal with was that her emotional and sensory experience is particularly heightened. E.g. as an infant/toddler she was very sensitive to light (and still is, although less so), the taste and texture of things, loud noises (this hasn't changed), and if she falls and hurst herself, no matter how minor, it truly is the end of the world. I think this is where her emotional sensitivity overlaps as her perception is often worse that the reality.

The biggest challenge for us as parents is her extreme emotional sensitivity. Experiences that her friends brush off (e.g. them taking back a cherished toy they said she could keep forever totally broke her heart recently). She is very literal! Her first response to anything remotely upsetting is still to burst into tears. Is this normal at age 7?

She is happy and thriving at her small, intimate, infants school and has some lovely friends. Both DH and I are healthcare profs with knowledge of psychological processes and we've brought our children up using behavioural principles. Thus, we've been careful not to reinforce or indulge in her crying behaviour, but we're careful not to invalidate her experience. Sometimes my patience just runs out though and I just wish I knew how to help her to express herself more appropriately.

Am I expecting too much from her? I have posted this in G&T, not because this aspect matters much to me, but because quite often children who are G&T are also hyper-sensitive. I don't want my DDs emotional vulnerability to turn her into a target as she moves up to a bigger junior school. If my quandry resonates with you, do you have any advice?

OP posts:
sittingbythepoolwithenzo · 03/02/2014 13:13

Refused to go anywhere, sorry...

17leftfeet · 03/02/2014 13:27

Dd used to be incredibly over sensitive

Textures of food and clothes, noise has always been a nightmare, at 5 she would have total meltdowns if the hand dryers turned on and she was anywhere near it -it got to the point I learned which toilets had dryers and which used paper towels!

She would plan and have expectations about how things should be, an absolute stickler for rules

She knew meltdowns at school weren't appropriate so would completely withdraw into herself

She's been on the g&t register at school for all subjects since reception and this has continued to high school and I do believe there is a connection

As she has got older she has got much better -clothes are still a bit of a nightmare but she's more into fashion now so has found ways to work round things like labels etc, food she still likes to not touch on a plate but can tolerate it to a certain extent

Dealing with people she is tons better but we've worked really hard on 'what's the worse that could happen' which does seem to have reduced her anxiety and she actually volunteered to do the school play this year which is a massive leap forward for her

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