Are you a member of NAGC??

[chillikate]

And if so, please tell me - is it friendlier than here??

I'm kind of holding out to join, until DS starts school in 2 weeks and we eventually get an "experts" view of his once his teacher gets to know him.

lovecheese I do find your posts quite condescending and impo most children who are ahead do continue to be so unless there is a change significantly in their social situation. DD1 was deemed significantly ahead in all areas aged 2 and is also consistently ahead in all areas now aged 5 ......I also was patronised

Oh and how do you define exceptional maturity with a test Teachers often miss giftedness that can't be tested ime.

Hi, I also have been lurking here without posting. I'm not sure why people tend to go on about kids levelling up later on. My ds now going to year 3, started reception well ahead, and still well ahead. It's not fool proof, but at least your dc is already on the right path, and I don't see why he won't remain ahead.

To comment on your original post, like you, I was very skeptical about him not coping well in reception but even though he started ORT level 5 at start of reception, he really enjoyed reception. He enjoyed doing the jolly phonics sound actions, he liked the role playing, the painting etc. The reception teacher gave him work according to his ability but also made sure he participated in all the other activities. He wasn't bored at all.

I'd also advise not to speak to the teacher at first. It's quite easy to notice a bright child. I chose not to let the teacher know he was reading, within 2 weeks of starting reception, he was bringing home level 5 books.

Looking back, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I'm sure your dc would be fine.

Honestly, it's neither negative norunsupportive to remind people that children develop at hugely different speeds, and that sometimes they level out. Parents don't always realise this and worry hugely when their very advanced toddler becomes and averagely bright 7 year old. It's also not negative nor unsupportivento remind people that there is loads more to Reception than academic stuff.

And that it's not always a good thing for a child to be encouraged to skip the "playing" stage- they may not seem to be learning formally, and may even complain about being bored (particularly if they've picked up that them being bored is something that their parents worry about- bright children are bright innlots of unexpected ways!). But they are building foundations for a happy, fulfillled life full of satisfyng relationships. And if any of those foundation stones are missed out, the structure is less strong than it should be.

"Oh and how do you define exceptional maturity with a test Teachers often miss giftedness that can't be tested ime"

My ds has that type of giftedness and every teacher he has had, has spotted it. He has always been mature beyond his years. From what I have been told it is the type of questions he asks, his ability to analyse situations in history and his ability to think abstractly. On paper he does well and sometimes exceptionally but he does not have the ability to put into writing his thoughts at the same level as his thought processes.
When he started reception he couldn't read and didn't really click until he was 7

i am an (ex)early years teacher. dd is summer born 5 and just finished reception. she loved reception despite being quite bright (a mix of lots of 1:1 with an early years specialist who knows how to teach through play and genetics. ) as far as I can work out without the latest info on moderation, she is working at level 2 maths and starting to do some level 3 stuff. she is reading book band 10 books. however, she is not demonstrating this at school as she is quite shy and insecure, and until she is confident enough to do so at school, we just carry on at home.

the point op is that she loved reception and learnt a lot of social skills and learning how to behave at school.

to be fair, I have got very frustrated that she is not doing more at school, and have sometimes asked the collective mn to sit on me to stop me rushing in and making more of a fool of myself. I am waiting to see how she goes in year one with the nqt teacher (hopefully up to date and enthusiastic)

i was wondering whether to join nagc, but as we have no proof other than my word (and worry i am pfbish, despite having lots of other children to compare with) I thought it might be a bit presumptuous, and yes i find that there are a lot of put downs on here, especially of people who think their preschool child may be bright.

pehaps if more of us lurkers posted then it would be more supportive.

Blackeyedsusan I would join NAGC if you want to. It sounds like you have had lots of experience with children so a good judge.
I do see some of the points about others catching up. Others will learn to read, count etc, so I think at first glance there will be fewer easy to notice differences. Certainly I think the ability to reason etc will still vary.

As they learn to read etc other children may research their own interests more and this is when the"plodder" (who is exceptionally bright) really takes off (My sister was one-when she thought it was worth doing there was no stopping her)! Sometimes some children are just interested in other things before reading etc! I think there is probably though a lot of truth that children do not reach their academic potential (though probably more due to their personalities eg work ethic than anything at school).

I love you all!!! :)

PMM here. DS has just mastered riding his bike without stabilisers (yes, kids can be clever AND practical) I am a very proud mummy indeed!!

A question for all you lurkers.... reading age etc.... is just a measure of how a DC is doing at that time. But do any of you have kids that just act so far ahead of their peers - in language or maturity or understanding of the world - or just the bloody non-stop questions???

language yes, probably because I can talk the hind leg off a donkey, maturity a bit (may just be personality) physical development, requires ot/pt and I thought the questions were a normal incessant part of a 4/5 year old.

yes lol I have a five year old who chastises her sister in my absence. Dd1 and 2 both at my friends while I worked. Apparantly Dd2 was misbehaving for my friend until dd1 said 'do you want me to tell mummy that you have been naughty? so dd2 replies 'noo' and dd1 says 'well tidy up then!' then dd2 wines saying 'whhyy' so dd1 says because we always tidy up the toys so that nobody trips over them trying to get to the table !

I also have a 3 year old who told his friend that he couldn't take his toy car on the trampoline incase he landed on it and hurt himself, the friend who was slightly older had a complete meltdown!

MiniIggly has never got in trouble at school/nursery he is very good at following rules. Whilst on holiday in London he directed Mummy and Daddy across London using the tube map and finding appropriate stations (Daddy felt purpose less), he did this faster than an adult.We were at the Natural History Museum in London and they have an "investigation centre" where you find out about things on display. He wrote notes, the Museum centre guide was amazed , he was invited to events and lectures far beyond his years.

If someone is upset he has great empathy. Emotionally he is often more mature than me-seriously I can feel like the child (he is 5). He is great at cheering people up.

He is very road safe etc. He mixes very well with older children often prefering them. People talk to him and say we should get him tested/assessed (I hope never to have to). He is used to going off and doing things by himself at school, he has to have 1-2-1 lessons in certain areas. His ability to work by himself is commentated on, he can be very self-directing eg taught himself reading/writing/multiplication....now interested in French.

Well done on the bike riding minichili.

Ds cannot. He hates it (We are trying). I am tempted to leave it at the moment. MiniIggly has to want to learn-then he works really hard at it. This summer it was swimming he really wanted to learn.

A word of warning about letting an older sibling chastise younger siblings though as this happenend in my family as I grew up. My elder sister would do this and I think children need to learn by themselves to an extent. I am sure you will do lots better than my parents.

My (elder) sister had a lot of things altered to suit her (what television we watched, when meal times were, where we sat in the car, when we had to be silent, when younger cousins came to play we had to entertain them-she was let off doing anything, later she convinced my little sister that my little sister was adopted, she told me what music I should like...). As a result I would say she has had problems with relationships, but also is the only confident one in the family. If you talk to her she abbruptly says "I don't want to talk about it"etc if something does not suit her. On visiting me at Uni my friends were horrified (they refer to her as the"evil" sister, my younger sister is lovely). This is what I was trying to refer to in a post about not making allowance for bright children socially. They maybe very manipulative. Given a choice now I do my best not to talk to her, but as a result I am wary of a second child (financial reasons as well).

Condescending? Hilarious. Mumsnet is awash with posters asking how school will cope with their advanced children and the same number of posters stressing the play and social aspects, (which I totally agree with). All I am saying is it's not a good idea to go in at the start of term and tell the teacher how clever your DC is, I would find that extremely rude if I were the childs' teacher; if your child is bright then a good teacher will notice. It happened to us with DD2 without a word from me or DH. And as someone said recently school is only one learning resource or words to that effect, so if you think the NAGC may be useful then join.

Cheese - I am not sure I agree with you that the teachers care/have time to identify and or indeed challenge very bright children. I do agree that if you go in and tell the teachers how bright your PFB is (without anything to back it up) they will probably ignore you/laugh about it later!

My experience is that even in a small class of 20, ironically, the G&T co ordinator taught one of my DTS's for 2 years and did not identify him as highly able (Scottish terminology) despite his (noted by school) advanced reading age, huge vocab, and advanced general knowledge (all of which are listed on the SNAP document 'Guidance for addressing the needs of highly able pupils' - as typical characteristics. The school were much quicker to respond to and focus on perceived 'naughty behaviour' - it was only at this point I began to piece it all together and paid for a Weschler test. The results of which place them firmly in the gifted category, I shared the reports with the school and at that point I could sense an about turn in the schools attitude towards what I was saying. (I'd been saying they were bright, needed a lot of stimulation all along - but wasn't until proven that they seemed to take it seriously.)

Even though they do now recognise them as 'highly able' - I'm not sure how that will translate into differing provision for them. I have another meeting with the school tomorrow - where I am going to ask for an IEP, so I'll wait and see, they may surprise me. What I find disheartening about this whole process is that if I was low income (no available money for pricey Ed Psych tests) less educated/informed and had a similarly bright child, it may have had a different outcome. I feel children are slipping through the cracks if they don't have a 'pushy' mother to fight for them.

NKU: Do you sometimes wonder if in primary schools there is less enthusiasm to progress children as they percieve no benefits (eg league table results do not take into accounts level 6+ ). Secondary schools have GCSE / A level tables and a child could take a lot of exams and increase the league position and/or get public recognition more easily. Public recognition maybe very beneficial to private schools so they maybe more willing to go that bit further as well.

Chillikate - well done your DS riding without stabilisers!

Yes, join the NAGC. The resources are well worth the membership fee - and the forums are lovely, friendly, interesting and much much much more supportive than MN. You will never have to justify your child's giftedness there, and you can talk about what's happening with your child without feeling like you're boasting.

My DD was identified -by me- as G&T at the age of 5. I recognised the description of a gifted child from the NAGC information sheet straight away, and all of a sudden my daughter made perfect sense: translating between her two languages at 20 months, teaching herself to read at 4, and simply the level of her thinking, reasoning and speaking compared with other children her age. I always knew she was a little bit different - and spent YEARS worrying about what it was.

We have just had her Wechsler results back last week, confirming that she is fairly high up in the gifted category - her cognitive abilities are one in 268. She's basically much more intelligent than I am, or most people around her.

Of course parents are aware of these differences before anyone else! Trust your instinct, OP, join the NAGC and hold your head up high.

Ig I think you misunderstand me .... I didn't let her chastise as I wasn't present, but clearly she understood that her sister should do as she had been asked and my friend commented that she knew exactly how to get her co-operation. She does not get away with this when I am present and is firmly told it isn't her place

I did not want to upset you I really think it is something to look out for. My parents did not realise the extent to which older sister controlled a lot of went on. If she was upset as well it was like walking on eggshells. My older sister(I am sure) saw it as helping younger siblings and parents (to me growing up it was like an additional parent). I just look at my fractured family and do not want such things to happen else where.

PMM: MiniIggly learnt to ride his bike today! Saw his best friend ride hers and just did it. Ice cream palour for tea after showing his Daddy.

Well done miniIggly!!!

blackeyedsusan join NAGC if you feel their services would be of use to you. They have lots of free fact sheets on their website to start off with. Please don't worry about being presumptuous in joining- NAGC isn't like Mensa in the sense that they don't ask for IQ scores for eligibility for membership.

I personally have had very good support from NAGC- love their helpline (really the only place I could go to to talk to someone who really understood what DS and I have been going through, all of the issues I raised were dealt with in a wonderfully supportive and sensitive manner. I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders ) after the call. Although their forum is quieter than here (of course!) it is still a nice, supportive place to drop in now and then and chat to other parents.

They also run events, but I haven't been to any so can't say if they're any good or not. I can say though, if it's support or clear impartial advice you're looking for, then NAGC is worth joining.

what is the benefit of being a member of Mensa to your child? I've just had a nosy at the website and ds would qualify but is there any point in joining? How would it benefit him?

IMO Mensa membership is probably good to put on a c.v or on a university entrance application form. Other than that, I personally couldn't envisage any other circumstance where it would be beneficial.