School Advancement Advice

[KatCan]

Hello,

I'm looking for some advice for a meeting I have with my daughter's school tomorrow.

She started Primary One in August 2009 (aged 6 - we're in Scotland). At the school's recommendation, she's skipped P2 (she did most of that work in P1), starting P3 this August.

Whilst we were confident she could handle the academic work, we were worried about her emotional well-being and the fact her motor skills are average for her age. She's a happy, popular girl, but she doesn't respond well to shouting, etc, and is ultra-sensative to many things.

We were assured she'd be treated 'sensatively' but, my daughter has reported that her maths teacher shouts at her alot for not working quickly enough, that she's often crying to herself in her maths class, has taken it upon herself to try to finish her maths work at lunchtimes and at home has started wetting the bed.

I've only uncovered all this after gradually probing her for information. I'm really upset and meeting with the school tomorrow.

Does anyone have any advice on how to proceed? I Feel badly let down by the school but want to keep them onside. I'm feeling really isolated as don't know anyone else in this situation.

Thanks for your help.

The school told me it 'would be a tragedy' for my daughter if she didn't move up.

The advice on here is to move her back down.

Rock and a hard place! Two extremes and no middle ground to build on, which is what I was hoping for.

that kind of language from them is really unhelpful and makes me think that they were doing this as the easiest thing for them.

How about you say to them that you are really worried by her being so upset about all this and are considering asking them to move her back down. You need to put the pressure on them to come up with a plan (both short- and long-term) as to how they will make this will work for your DD. You need to pin them down as to what they expect to happen in later years. IN many ways your position is strong one - for example compared with a child who is in their age group and is still stuggling. They put her in this siutation and you can expect them to make it work.

Given that she is old for her year, this set up could work for her, but you need to know that they are going to give her the help that she needs and that she won't end up in a mess when she finishes primary.

Thanks, muddleduck

Should probably also point out that my daughter has a March birthday, so when she started school she was one of the oldest. Had she been born in Feb, she would have started school a year earlier. This was one of the major thrusts of the school's arguement for advancing her. Her best friend in the class is actually only 6 weeks older than her. I guess our hope was that the social differences would be minor because of this.

Thanks again. I'm definitely going to force their hand for a strategy.

The other problem is that the deputy head who came up with this idea retired at the summer and we now have an acting head in place.

I do feel it has been handled very sloppily - which is what brought me here initially. As she's my first kid at school - how do you tell a school they're acting sloppily whilst keeping them onside to do the best for your child?!

You don't tell them they are acting sloppily. You just keep asking them for a plan until they come up with one. And keep asking them what the timeframe is or things can drag on without being sorted.

Pixie - "you won't consider having her moved back into her own year which seems to be the sensible option and there is little else we can suggest."

Thanks, but judgements on our decisions, as you see them, wasn't really what I was looking for.

With respect, I don't really think whether or not that's 'the only sensible option' is actually your call to make.

Must say, I've found this forum really aggressive (not sure why??).

Don't think its for me!

Pixie, not quite gone yet.

No, I can't see that. The advice I was asking for was how to deal with the school, and this teacher in particular, not advice on whether or not I'd done the right thing. So, if you like, your answer was 'wrong'. Can you see that?

You've focussed the negatives whilst ignoring the fact that otherwise, she's a happy and confident girl with plenty of friends (in her P3 class).

I'm not sure what your last post refers to?

There are several reasons why I want to keep her in the class (please don't try to imply I'm forcing my chid into this)

Firstly, she is happy. I know it sounds like a contradiction, but that's the way it is. In a year that's been full of changes for her, she's taken it all in her stride.

The issue is with her maths teacher, who she gets for maths twice a week (she gets maths with 2 other teachers as well, including her class teacher, and there is no issue with them).

Until this teacher came on the scene, everything was fine. It could well be that, had she stayed in P2 and had this teacher for maths anyway, there would still be an issue. I'll never know.

Secondly, she wants to stay in the class. She loves the topic work (not babyish), that they get to play the recorder, that she can join the choir, etc.

Thirdly, if I can make the school live up to the promises they made when they fist tabled this idea, then I think this could be of benefit to my daughter (and advice on how to accomplish this was what I was looking for).

Fourthly, I think moving her down again would create more problems than it solves.

Fifth, I truly believe moving her down is not an option. The school were extremely blunt about that.

Sixth, I want to apologise. It's been a really emotional week.

Perhaps I'm over-sensative, but I feel I have nowhere to turn. I don't need to be told what I've done is 'wrong', I need constructive advice to make it work. I was hoping some on here may have been able to help with that.

Thanks :). I feel I've cried my eyes out this week! Other school mums keep saying 'isn't this what every parent wants?!' Yeh, right.

The meeting is with the deputy head, who is in charge of the infant unit. I spoke to her on the phone yesterday and she seemed unaware there was a problem. I feel awkward going to the teacher herself (chicken, I know!) and I also feel awkward going to the class teacher about one of her colleagues.

DD has just come told me that today she did her maths corrections on a non-maths day, which is a first. Normally, if she has corrections, they have to be done within the maths lesson, in addition to whatever they have to do that day. Perhaps better time management?

Can I ask what you think about the strategy thing for further up the school? The post today have got me really anxious about the future!

I must add too, that, the school have given me the impression that while advancing a child is not necessarily common, they've done it several times before (there is another child further up the school they want to advance, too).

They make me feel like I'm being a bit of a drama-queen when I for strategies and stuff!

Think we cross-posted there! They have said that some of their advanced pupils have gone on to the local secondary, some have gone on to independant schools.

She also said that if we moved, they would talk to any new school 'about a child like ours' (grr!). But they're ever so good at talking the talk, I'm just not convinced they'll walk the walk, iykwim!

Your DD sounds like my DS he scored a 5 in his sats at the end of year 3. He is very bright but writes ridiculously slowly.
I decided to leave him with his peers and not move him up, as I know he will always be ok academically and was more worried about his social interactions.

If your DD is writing at a normal speed for her age then I really would move her back down she will mature and get faster.

Your DD is academically gifted and that will not change, but if you leave her struggling and unhappy she could be put off school completely.

I also think the fact that DCs very often end up repeating the last year of juniors before moving on needs to be considered. It must be terrible frustrating for them.

I know my DS is just coasting and have wondered if I did the right thing but he is happy and that is really more important.
The speed of his handwriting is gradually improving.

I've certainly been a drama queen today

I've now also spoken to SNAP - Scottish Network for Able Pupils based at Glasgow Uni. The lady there was fantastic and very supportive.

Fyi, her take on moving DD down again was that it would be 'traumatic for DD, the class she was leaving and the class she went into'. Another reason why I freaked a bit when everyone was so adamant that's what should happen.

Feeling better - need to man up a bit for sake of DD. Most annoying this is, we asked for none of this! We were bumbling along quite happily before!

Hi Lynli,

The speed of handwriting isn't really an issue - its the shouting teacher!

We said to the school when they first suggested the move that she was sensative to shouting, etc, and they promised they'd make teachers aware. They either haven't, she's forgotten or chosen to ignore it.

I think if we could sort out the shouting, DD would be fine.

I will, Pixie!

I really have to go now, and pull my weight with bathtime!

Sorry I thought thats what you meant by motor skills.

Good luck hope you get things sorted soon.

Hi KatCan, I think you are right not to want your daughter moved back down. It would be disruptive. She is only one month off, having been in P3, I think its not unreasonable to expect that she transfer with her new year group at end of year 6, so don't panic.

The maths teacher, sounds dreadful, adults, incl teachers only shout when they can't cope! In terms of the maths though, is your daughter placed in a set too high? Should she be having corrections? How many corrections? Moving down a set would perhaps help build your daughters confidence. Would she then avoid the struggling teacher? I teach maths and I wouldn't expect too many corrections of any area covered in a lesson, from any child of any ability. The work must be pitched at the level suitable for the child.

Good luck