The Great Recovery part 4

[TopOfTheCliff]

Time for a new thread. Welcome aboard!

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!
Here are some resources we found helpful:
The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis
Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/
Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward
Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html
Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/
Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients
Any more suggestions? Post them below
There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

I felt exactly the same. Can I recommend taking Symprove every day, I've found it very effective. DD2 saw a gastroenterology consultant who recommended it to her.

On the subject of reaccurence, I don’t know why I assumed men would be different, but today I’ve had two unexpected conversations regarding the topic, both with male friends - one a school Dad who had testicular cancer about ten years ago (“got scared about the headaches I get - even had a brain scan”) and DPs best mate who had bladder cancer last year (“totally shitting myself about next weeks scan”). I think maybe these people feel they can tell me now I’ve also had cancer! I feel quite honoured!

I think with men it's very hard for them to admit to feeling scared of anything? And so very hard to talk openly about it, so it's lovely they felt able to admit this to you.

I admit getting the Dreaded Recall has really knocked me for six, I feel absolutely hollowed out and drained. Assuming that I get good news tomorrow, I am now seriously questioning whether I will go on to get a private, yearly mammogram for my 'peace of mind'? Or do I just stick with the every 3 years one with the NHS?

Since my recall, I've read a lot about mammograms and apparently the more you have, the more likely you are to get false positives. Once a woman has had 10 or more, then up to 50% of them will start coming back as false positives! I honestly don't know if I can cope with that!

@Arraminta sorry you have a recall - that’s hard, I have my fingers crossed for you. I’ve also thought about going private for an ultrasound or mammogram more often than once every year or three years, it really doesn’t seem like a lot for someone who has had cancer. And yes, with men maybe it is harder to admit they feel scared.

Well after this hideous week of worrying, it was good news. Had a mammogram + ultra sound, and thankfully nothing to declare and I have now been discharged.

Funnily, as soon as I went in for the mammogram I knew I was going to be okay. Last time, the radiographer took ages positioning me and also had a trainee faffing with me too. But I barely felt any pressure when my boob was between the perspex plates (which I thought odd as it normally bloody hurts).

But today, it was just the one radiographer and she so obviously knew exactly what she was doing. It was very quick, bick back bosh (and it was reassuringly painful). The ultrasound was quick and showed nothing.

The relief is immense. But I'm convinced that if I'd had the same radiographer 2 weeks ago, that I had today, I wouldn't have had a recall.

That's great that it's clear @Arraminta - I had a lot of incompetence during my treatment, including my first hospital missing a whole cancer, my first medical oncologist not knowing that guidelines have been updated and arguing with me, and various delays possibly meaning that it's spread more than it should've done. Difficult to do anything much about it though and feel it will make any difference other than just stressing you out more. I also find it can take awhile when you've had an all clear to actually return to some sort of normal level of functioning, though I know we're supposed to be thrilled!

I'm going on a holiday early tomorrow morning, but first taking out DD and her boyfriend for a meal for his birthday, I feel very disorganised! I need to finish packing but I can't get my head around clothes for slightly warmer weather!

Thank you. I would be very interested to know how many women, who saw the same duo I did 2 weeks ago, have been recalled? I am not entirely unsurprised that so many cock-ups were made during your treatment because I've heard so many similar stories.

I was incredibly lucky to get my surgery done just 3 days before the first COVID lockdown. Other women had delays and misplaced paperwork etc and their prognosis was affected.

You're absolutely right though about not actually feeling hugely relieved, not really. I actually feel very flat and very drained. My spirit feels so tired and bruised, if that doesn't sound too hyperbolic?

Oops, sorry forgot to say enjoy your evening and lovely holiday x

Have a lovely holiday @SierraSapphire

@Arraminta it takes time for your emotions to catch up. You were braced in case of disaster and now your system has had to stand down the emergency crew. It’s exhausting! Lots of nurturing is needed, yoga and soothing things. So good that they discharged you though. Hooray!

I have had a busy week so far. Today was “visiting the old, and sick friends” day. I went back to my home town 15 miles away and took cake, frozen meals, and get well cards. I drank a lot of coffee and listened to tales of woe and tales of kindness. In between I walked down the high street and met about five old friends I haven’t seen for ages and caught up on their kids lives and swapped stories. I am just beginning to feel that the shower of shite might have stopped for me at last. Will I ever trust that it won’t start again?
I am still working hard on house and garden sorting. Some progress is being made, but slowly. Onward!

@Acinonyx2 you are so right about the exercise. Two weeks ago when I exercised every second day (as I’m supposed to!) I felt so much better. I’ll try to use that to motivate me this week, in between taking the cat to the vet, DM to the audiologist to collect her hearing aids, parent teacher conferences for DS17, a big cricket match for DS’s team, a hairdresser appointment and a job interview!

@SierraSapphire have a lovely holiday.

Even if I feel physically tired and a bit achy when I've done some exercise I always feel mentally better. I don't know if it's endorphins, hormones or just the glow from feeling I've done something that's good for me.

Welcome Littlecaf and Arraminta, glad you got the all clear.

Have a lovely holiday Sierra.

Just been WFH full time last week plus swimming twice. At swimming a lady asked me if I will be a swimmer for her sponsored swim as I swim a lot and she said last time hardly anyone sponsored her. I said yes though I think the issue is people don't want to sponsor anything not length of swim. Not sure if she was serious or not but she is lovely.

Lovely weekend here. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Made it to Wisley and had a 2 hour walk, nice to see flowers appearing though cherry blossom not out yet. Lovely sunny day but traffic was dire as they have shut M25 junction by it in both directions and also think as first sunny day in ages. Toby carvery on way back.

I seem to have been busy and filling my days with exercise and tidying and allotment digging but don’t seem to have achieved much. At the end of the day I try to make a list of what I did, to encourage myself. There is a lot on the list but nothing much changes! I guess after a few weeks of this I will begin to see the benefit, a bit like fitness!
DH has sent off the IHT forms to HMRC for Probate and is very relieved. We reckon he has saved about £8000 in solicitors fees so far. At least all that paperwork can be put away now,
I am riding about 75 miles a week on my bike now so am definitely fitter and stronger. Why don’t I feel I am getting anywhere?

@MsPenguins when I was a tiny child my GM and DM used to take me to Wisley. I can just remember walking along a narrow twisty path in a woodland and having ice creams. That must have been in the 1960s! It sounds delightful, I shall have to revisit.

I’ve just read that Dr Peter Harvey essay posted at the top here. I’d seen it on the Macmillan forums and my counsellor had given me a copy. I was amazed at how close to what I’m feeling it is - but also gave me some hope that things do tend to improve - I’m not quite finished with my treatment (awaiting radiotherapy) but I’m no longer in the throes of chemo or surgery. I’ve forwarded it to my parents and partner - my parents keep trying to say helpful things like “you’ll be better off back at work” (no I wouldn’t!) So hopefully they read it and understand better to just support me and not push too much.

@Littlecaf I also found some of my family were keen for me to return to work, I think because they felt this would mean I was "better". Definitely don't rush back.

@Arraminta I'm glad to hear it was good news.

@TopOfTheCliff it sounds like you have achieved loads, but in any case you don't need to be achieving all the time - you have been through a lot of major things in close succession, try and go easy on yourself. Easier said than done I know!

Hope you have a lovely holiday @SierraSapphire

Thank you for everyone's good wishes @TopOfTheCliff You're absolutely right in that my personal anxiety army is taking a while to stand down. I'm still not feeling a huge wave of relief as yet?

I would love to read the essay you've mentioned @Littlecaf but can't seem to see it? My DH is your typical cal bloke and doesn't often discuss feelings, but he's so happy that I am now officially discharged from the breast clinic. He's said several times "That's it. All done, it's over." But, to me, it will never be over. Not really.

@Arraminta - on the first post on this thread there are some links - it’s the second one titled “After the treatment finishes - then what”? Give it a look x

Hello everyone, I had Mucinous Ovarian Cancer that was found at stage 1A after I had grown an almost 6kg ovarian cyst. I didn’t cope well with my diagnosis and I had a complete breakdown of my mental health. It had been a long time coming though and anything could have been the final straw for my mental health.

3 weeks ago I went for my annual check up and because I was in my 5th year after diagnosis I was discharged from the gynae-oncology dept. The relief was immense and I’m hoping this milestone means I can now stop taking the 15mg of Seroxat I’m still on. It used to be higher than this but over the last couple of years I’ve worked very hard to get back to good mental health and all I have to do now is learn how to not have a mini panic attack in the Drs office when even going for a normal blood test result. But that will come.

I suspect there are some posters here who may remember me, I certainly remember them with affection, and just wanted to wish you all the very best and to say I think of you often.

Thank you for the company during an awful time.

Thank you. A very interesting read. DH has been my rock through all of this. He's come to every single appointment etc. But he's really uncomfortable with the talking aspect of my diagnosis. I suspect it's due to his Mum being diagnosed with BC when he was only 15, and I don't think she communicated it very well at all. And his Dad was utterly useless and took a 3 month contract out of the country just after the dx! I know DH was very badly affected and he struggled with health anxiety at university.

Welcome @Nanaonabike I remember you well from the old threads. You had a shocking time and have done so well. I will be at 5 years from diagnosis no 1 in June and that will be a lovely milestone to pass.
I heard this week that my DD is (very early) pregnant so I too will be a Nana on a bike 🥰

@Arraminta would your DH be amenable to some Macmillan counselling? He would so benefit from the chance to go through old history and put it right for himself. Investing in your own mental well-being is always a valuable thing to do.

All well at Tops Towers. We had an engineer out to fit full fibre broadband so now everything has to be reset 🙄. It does seem speedier though.
Keep warm folks it’s getting colder again.

Welcome back Nanaonabike Great to have you back and glad you have good news.

Congratulations on the pregnancy news for your DD Top and you definitely are fitter and stronger. Wisley is wonderful and cherry blossom will be out before too long but traffic is horrific when they shut the M25 by it.

DD is back this weekend from university.

Welcome @Nanaonabike. I don't remember you from before, but we are both 5 years post diagnosis (mine for early breast cancer) and like you I was officially discharged last week. Well done for taking such positive steps towards healing your mental health.

@TopOfTheCliff Sadly, there's not a chance DH would ever have counselling, though Heaven knows he would seriously benefit from it. I'm hoping that in time he will be able to process the fact I had BC, and then hopefully stop treating me like I'm made out of bone China!

Very exciting about you being a Granny. Will this be your first grandchild?

Hello all and welcome @Nanaonabike.
Congratulations @TopOfTheCliff how exciting! Had dd home for a few days which was lovely.