The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

@Onelessboob i had 30 nodes out on the right for BC1 and two out on the left with BC2. You have to be patient while the wounds heal, and the drains are removed. I got some swelling and a small fistula on the right but was back in the gym with light weights within 6 months. Exercise, especially resistance training, helps prevent lymphoedema but the UK breast care teams are very behind the research. I find cycling and swimming bring the swelling down nicely. Heat and inertia make it worse.

@Penguinsa I had DIEP last year and mostly I was fine after a couple of weeks (once I could stand comfortably upright). The real grief for me all came from the lymphnode surgery. But, you won't be having that. So, as far as the DIEP goes, it should not take 3 months to recover. In fact, I started chemo less than 4 weeks after (immediate reconstruction) DIEP. They seemed to think I was sufficiently recovered to subject me to more punishment by then.
@Onelessboob With the removal of just one or two lymph nodes, your risk of lymphedema should be low. I think with exercise, it is important to build gradually. Weight lifting was recommended to me (I got to it a couple of months in) but maybe not in the first few weeks.

Thanks Isa Yes I have already had the full node clearance so won't be having that again. The issue is also new job is abroad involving flights and moving lots of stuff and medical care there is more basic.

But first 2 ops I recovered far faster than they said. Its just need energy for working full time as well.

I've been reading along but haven't been able to post for a while. That is awful about your surgery @Penguinsa, I really hope a solution can be found soon.

All is okay here although the indigestion etc seems to be making a comeback, I'm hoping it will actually settle down at some point (my love of coffee probably doesn't help).

Thank you Demivolte Very kind. Glad all is well with you.

Have received letter from hospital re what happened from endo saying there was no reason I can't have a general anaesthetic surgery but as consultant called did not know about adrenals they had to block operation. 🤔But its a lot more honest than they normally are in writing.

Have so many cuts from gardening, it was good to do, but one plant didn't look sharp and was think the pampas grass and its so huge, previous owner put it in. At least roses make it clear they are out to get you. 😎But we did mainly fill 3 bins so was good. Am trying to distract myself from op but a bit lost as this time was cleared as recovery time and now I am wondering what to do. Though new job is emailing a lot and DD is very chatty about Oxford etc. It was nice to be here with her. I am wondering if the DIEP is worth the stress involved. Just so fed up of medical tests and having to complain about things and being promised things then let down, its largely due to what happened with DS. But I do wonder if I will just be swapping problems with the lack of one breast for a problems with the stomach. I saw someone post 5 years after and you could still see the scar and a dent all along - she was good looking but primarily exercise and being thin. I had thought it would not be visible after two years. And also I want to swim and they said muscles could be weakened. Going round in circles on this. I just want things sorted and done but am worried how I would cope with more bad news which always seems to happen with these things. At the moment I can switch off and rest of life is great.

@Penguinsa sorry to hear about your surgery ( I admit I had to look up what DIEP was, so now I know!) .

Thanks for the advice, I will wait til radiotherapy finished and then start gradually with the weights and build it up. Really keen to get fitness back this year. Although my arm strength has always been a bit crap, so would be good to be stronger on that too.

Just catching up on the thread after a marvellous but knackering week on Paris and Disneyland with dp and dsd (well, my partner's daughter but I'll use that for shorthand!)

@penguinsa gah so sorry about the muck around with your op. The disconnection between various departments just boggles belief. And sorry to hear about the job predicament too, it's beyond frustrating when life is so full of uncertainties due to health stuff. Pleased to hear about your DD though.

@oneboobless welcome to the thread! I'm not too far off back to full fitness now post treatment, although it's taken the best part of a year. In hindsight I probably pushed myself too hard initially and got very frustrated when my body wouldn't respond as it used to. Take your time and celebrate any small wins!

@topofthecliff Canada sounds amazing, hope you're not too saddlesore!

I am knackered now and doing nothing for the rest of the weekend - first time away with a little and she was such a trooper (her first time abroad and away from her mummy too). Im an old cynic and have never felt the urge to 'do Disney' but actually there were parts that were truly magical and I feel really lucky to have experienced it through the eyes of a child.

Bless her, she was so overwhelmed when we first went in - absolutely fascinated by the pink wood chippings they put round plants, never mind the rest of it 😄 Wanted to know if they painted them specially and whether that was an actual job that she could do when she was older. She's at that tween stage now and desperately wants to be older than she actually is so it was lovely to see her free to have a bit of child like wonder.

Oh yeah, and of course all the extra games, puzzles and books we packed for her didn't even make it out the suitcase...ah well, you live and learn 😂😂😂

Thanks One less and Clash So glad holiday went well. Am definitely choosing job if it's job or op.

Just had afternoon tea with DH in our gardening then a couple of hours gardening together. DD out working punting today.

@ClashCityRocker it sounds like your trip was a great success. Jumping into step-parenting can be a shock so it’s great that you had a good experience.

We have completed the first cycling part of our holiday. We are at the airport hotel trying to decide whether we can face public transport into the city for an evening meal when we have to be up at 4am. We could just eat in the hotel and save our money and energy. The next stage is a campervan trip through the Rockies. I’m a lot stronger than I have been in ages, walking several miles round cities and climbing steps. It’s very encouraging!

@TopOfTheCliff It's such a good feeling when you see the benefits of your hard work and realise that you've got noticeably stronger & fitter.

My DM died early this morning, something completely unexpected, she was taken into hospital early hours of Sunday morning after pressing her lifeline button and we were with her all day, she was expected to last a few more days but we got the call just after midnight and got there just after she died, DD was with me. Obviously sad and in shock but also relieved that she never ended up having to go into nursing care which she would've hated and other than a few recent hospital admissions stayed living in her home independently until the end. Massive life change for me given all the care I've provided her with over the last five + years (often reluctantly!), but one day at a time....

Sorry about your Mum Sierra

Enjoy the Rockies Top

Off to Chatsworth House today.

Oh and the NHS have sent me a letter saying we look forward to giving you surgery tomorrow dated 12 August, typed on 14th when they knew it never happened. 🤔

Sorry about your mum @SierraSapphire. It does sound like a massive life change. I remember when DH died wondering what on earth I used to do with all the time that was previously taken up with all his care.

So sorry to read about your mum, @SierraSapphire, it must be a shock that it happened so quickly.

Just checking in from our holiday. I’m
sorry to hear your news, @SierraSapphire It must feel a shock and hard to process, I’m sure. I think it’s just really complicated when someone dies who has been ill for a long time (and when you’ve had caring responsibilities). My situation wasn’t quite the same as I’ve only been providing practical care for DF for a few months, though I’ve felt a massive sense of responsibility for him ever since DM died 5 years ago. But I feel so many different things all at once -sadness, disbelief, relief, guilt. Sending strength.

holiday a bit of a mixed bag. The DDs have been grumpy and jet lagged and DH hasn’t been v well (his PD symptoms have been worse). I’ve had to revert to my regular role of organiser and jollier. But we are by the sea in Maine now in a lovely house. The weather is rubbish but we did have a nice, atmospheric walk in the fog along an amazing rocky shore line yesterday. Hoping for a happier few days.

I’m so sorry to read about your dm@SierraSapphire but completely understand your feelings of relief about her not having to go into a nursing home. You’ve done an amazing job enabling her to stay at home. Do give yourself time.
@dotty2 wishing you happier days too- make sure you do things you want to, as well as the others.

So sorry @SierraSapphire to hear about your DM but glad you were able to visit her and this difficult situation is resolving. You have given more than your share in recent years. Take time to let it sink in.

We have arrived in Calgary, whizzed up the Tower as DH loves to do, and have picked up our RV. Now I wish I had listened to my DS who did this trip last year. Being organised he booked six months ahead and had all his campsites sorted. We are winging it and will need the help of my late aunt’s parking angel to find us spaces. Ah well… it’s lovely to be here and we have a van full of delicious food.

Pics from Chatsworth

Looks great @Penguinsa

Thanks TheSandwich It was a long way for a day trip but a lovely day out with DH, last day of his time off.

Hope you have nice rest of holidays Dotty and Top and make sure you do things for you Dotty Grumpy teens are sometimes best left and go out by yourselves. DD is fine now but we had a holiday like that in Norway and found it was better to leave her with her phone whilst rest of us went out otherwise you got the moany teen. I remember a friend telling us when ours were little he had just spent a fortune taking his teens to NZ and they refused to do anything without moaning so ended up on ipad and TV. This year she was lovely in Borneo though I did get why are we going on a 3rd boat trip to see wildlife, I just want to be on my phone now, thankfully 10 mins in 3 pygmy elephants appeared, then an orangutan, then a crocodile, then monkeys and birds. Phew.

Wise words, @Penguinsa They are generally good company and lovely people so when they revert to obnoxious teen or stroppy toddler mode it catches me unawares. More fog today but some lovely atmospheric walks by the sea. We are off on a road trip to Canada for the day tomorrow!

@TopOfTheCliff good luck with the campsites. We did a road trip from Calgary to Vancouver about 10 years ago, camping in a rented tent. We had an amazing time but there was one night when all the campsites seemed to be full which was v stressful. We ended up at a private campsite and I shamelessly took DD2 who was 7 at the time and very cute into the office with me to see if we could persuade them to squeeze us in. We ended up on an emergency pitch that they didn’t usually use but which was bigger than any pitch we had ever stayed on in a uk campsite. They had a lake you could swim in and the owners’ teenage grandson was staying for the summer and organised a football game and s’mores for a group of kids in the evening. It ended up being one of their happiest childhood memories 😊

Thanks for the kind words everyone. Yesterday passed in a bit of a haze as only had about three hours sleep. We got a breakfast from Pret then DD and I went over to DM's house to do a bit of initial sorting and look through photos, with occasional bursts of crying! It was difficult going there knowing that she will never be back. I went out for a walk with my friend in the afternoon. I'm not quite sure what death admin I can start doing before we got the death certificate, I think I might start a spreadsheet! DB is coming up tomorrow so he will do some stuff. I'm going to go back into work for a couple of days for meetings and then probably take Friday off.

There's a lot for me to get my head around, I've seen DM pretty much every weekend for five years now, in fact more as I was having both of them round for Sunday dinner before DF died, then there was all the medical dramas that took a lot of time and energy. I was saying to DD last night that I could move anywhere if I wanted to (well other than I've just got a new job locally!) so that's a weird feeling. There's been no expensive care home fees either, so I will get an inheritance that's not life changing, but gives me reassurance that I will be okay if my cancer comes back, which I have no plan of it doing! And also coping with all the feelings of guilt about how much I have complained about DM over the years!

Hope everyone having holiday is having a great time, a lot of us seem to be preoccupied with things other than cancer which is great!

Really sorry Sierra.

I’ve been very busy, seeing lots of friends and enjoying the UK sunshine. However the end is in sight. I’ve bought too much stuff, I can’t resist and now I’m planning on doing some amateurish cosplay I can justify it - I seem to be obsesssed with the colour green! Green sleeves for Anne Boelyn, green dress from Ted Baker in the sale for cleopatra. Just need the right wig now.

Great weekend away with uni lot. My mother is still a challenge. But so far so good. I suppose. As long as I space it out it’s ok.

Lots of art and creativity. Tomorrow’s project is making a shell wreath for my Gran who died of Brac 1 cancer back in 1970s.

Not sure about surgery dates as yet. I am also having a diep.