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Cancer support thread 90 - still the best threads no one wants to be on

1000 replies

LemonDrizzle10 · 14/09/2023 08:07

Last one filled up quickly!

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42
BreakfastClub80 · 05/10/2023 18:07

@weegiemum that sounds positive, both in terms of the results and in terms of an action plan. Try and sleep well tonight.

AllotmentTime · 05/10/2023 18:30

@BreakfastClub80 hope your port is okay. I didn't feel very warned about how bruised/uncomfortable it would be to start with, so watch out for that if they haven't told you! It settled a lot and I'm much much less aware of it now.

@TopOfTheCliff bad luck, hope your knee is okay after the peas!

@ClashCityRocker good luck with scans. Everything crossed for you.

@Octopus45 welcome to the thread we all wish we weren't on! I totally get the anger, I think "pissed off" was my main emotion for about three weeks after diagnosis. What the actual fuck, especially in my 40s. The stage where you're waiting for a plan is really really shit, hope you can get through that soon and they give you useful info on Weds.

I had my 4th chemo today, 1st docetaxel. Also I'm planning to have the test for the BRCA gene. It's pretty unlikely that I have it, but if I do, then it will alter my surgical choices because instead of the one mastectomy which is already necessary and planned for after chemo, I'd probably have them both off. So given that I know I've got more surgery to come, it seemed like it would be worth checking now rather than wishing I had years along the line.

Hope everyone is hanging in there and having an okay day 💐

lucysmam · 05/10/2023 19:49

@TopOfTheCliff I hope your knee's ok now?

@EachandEveryone how are you feeling today?

Can we go back to eyelashes and brows for a mo - those of you who lost them during chemo; how long ish did they/are they taking to grow back? I'm happy enough with false lashes but wouldn't mind some eyebrow before facing parents next month!

Spoke to my consultant today before starting new meds tomorrow. I finally remembered to ask about the ramipril & lanszaprozole...only taken however many weeks 🙄 She said I can just stop the lanszaprozole & request it again if I find I do need it.

The ramipril I'm to keep taking - they don't want to "upset the apple cart" since the something or nothing heart thing was never properly followed up.

She apologised for not having seen yesterday's CT yet but has booked another call for a fortnight - I'd have been impressed if she had seen it today!

TopOfTheCliff · 05/10/2023 19:59

Thanks @AllotmentTime and @lucysmam for your concern. I am hopping round on the crutches I kept after my last disaster and cursing. I've taken some ibuprofen but it's very sore. I threw out my good intentions for healthy food today and had a salted caramel cookie and a Thai curry with a beer. Sometimes you just have to get by!

I am a whizz with a brow pencil now. It looks quite natural.

lucysmam · 05/10/2023 20:01

I cannot master pencil, but then again, I haven't tried for a loooong time. Maybe I should try again 🤔

doublec · 05/10/2023 20:08

@AllotmentTime

FWIW, I could have had the test a decade ago. Knowing what I know now, I still wouldn't have chosen to have it done then, or any risk-reducing surgery.

Last week, I discovered I do have a mutation on BRCA1 and BCRA2. (Much family history of breast, ovarian and pancreatic cancer coupled with the fact I'm of Askneazi descent means there was a high probability I had a mutation). I have chosen not to have further risk prevention surgery in the form of a (second) mastectomy, nor have I chosen to have my ovaries or fallopian tubes out. My reasoning being that removing these things only reduces the risk, it doesn't stop me developing these cancers. Also, even with both BRCA gene mutations, I might not get these cancers, so for me, I just don't see the point of further surgery unless I actually need it.

Before you have your gene testing, they will talk to you about these things and explore all possible scenarios. They will also look closely at your family history to assess if there's a higher probability that you have a BCRA or other mutation. Please don't feel you have to have a mastectomy just in case of something that might not happen.

Whatever you decide to do, take your time. The test takes around 6 weeks to come back.

doublec · 05/10/2023 20:16

As I'm on the topic of my double whammy BCRA mutation, I've been told to expect a hard time with chemo. Hoping they're wrong about this, and am trying to keep an open mind.

Despite being told I would need Abemaciclib afterwards, they've decided that as I had no lymph node involvement, they're probably not going to put me on that or Olaparib at all as they don't think there will be any benefits. Instead, they want me on ET (types tbd) for a minimum of seven years. But, given every plan I have had to date has changed numerous times, I'll wait until I'm through chemo and radiotherapy to see what the final verdict will be.

One thing my oncologist is very very adamant about is that I must use Vagifem. It's one of the first things he said to me when talking me through the side effects and told me if my GP won't prescribe, he will!

AllotmentTime · 05/10/2023 20:26

@doublec Taking your points on board, thank you. However for me, I'm already definitely having one mastectomy after chemo, so the step to consider making it a double is less of a jump IYSWIM. Also I've been told that I'll have to have my ovaries out in the future to reduce the risk of the BC recurrence, so again, it feels like it makes sense to consider the best timing for that if it turned out I did have the gene.

Granted I wouldn't necessarily have to go for the additional surgery, true. But I am very much one to want alllllll the info I can get my hands on.

They've been through all my family history and the probability is very low. But I'd rather know for sure!

Fantasea · 05/10/2023 20:30

@Octopus45 welcome to the nicest thread on Mumsnet, so sorry you find yourself here. I completely understand your anger and hope you don't have to wait too long for a plan.

@TopOfTheCliff I'm hoping your knee pain eases, anything like that is so easily done and so painful.

@lucysmam my brows started to grow back, along with my hair, in a few weeks. However, two years later, some of my body hair has never returned. I only have a few small underarm hairs right at the base of each armpit and only have half of one eyebrow and a third of the other! I don't know if this is typical though. I asked DD to show me how to pencil my brows, having never owned an eyebrow pencil up until this point even though I routinely wore make-up. She said 'would you like a 'something' brow or a 'something else' brow?', I can't remember the names. Who knew there were differences? I opted for the quickest one and she made a lovely job of them which I don't seem to be able to replicate. I can do a reasonable job myself now - I've found that sharpening the pencil to the finest tip you can is the key and make the 'hairs' you draw very small.

doublec · 05/10/2023 20:32

@AllotmentTime Oh, I understand. Even though I was technically eligible for a wide local excision, a mastectomy was recommended, and I wanted one anyway. I did consider having a double mastectomy at the time, but I'd rather take a wait and see approach. The only real benefit of having a BRCA mutation is that I now get an annual MRI.

Good luck with it all - I have no doubt you'll do exactly what is right for you.

SierraSapphire · 05/10/2023 20:49

@lucysmam I don’t think I ever completely lost my eyebrows, they just got thinner and shorter so I only had two very short bits at the nose end, but they grew back almost immediately. Eye lashes too, though they were short and stubby for a while because they’re dark they at least provided some definition around my eyes. I never wear make up and I did have a go with a pencil but it looked so ridiculous that I didn’t bother. I wear glasses though, at least for distance, which I think can hide the lack of hair.

Sorry about your leg @TopOfTheCliff, you are in the wars, as I’m sure my grandparents used to say! Hope it mends soon.

lucysmam · 05/10/2023 20:49

Thanks @Fantasea , maybe I just need to go for it & learn how to use pencil (I did not know there were names for brows!).

Silkiebunny · 05/10/2023 22:41

My eyebrows just got thinner, same with eyelashes and came back very quickly. Body hair on legs, underarms maybe a bit less than before.

TopOfTheCliff · 05/10/2023 22:56

@lucysmam I had a hilarious time practising with the Benefits Brow kit. They have a leaflet showing your options. I particularly enjoyed Ming the Merciless and a Frieda Kahlo monobrow. Be creative don’t limit yourself 😂

RedRosesPinkLilies · 06/10/2023 07:26

Anyone else reading the Julia Bradbury book - Walk yourself happy?
I’m surprised at how useful I’m finding it. Reading the chapter on Breathing just now.

HohiyiKozbevi · 06/10/2023 08:43

Hi @Octopus45 and welcome on board from another recent joiner. I'm at a similar age and life stage to you but I think I may be more in denial about the long term impact of this horrorshow. At the moment I am trying to focus on the scenario that I have to live through a few months of miserable and unpleasant treatment but that after it's done I will be able to go pretty much "back to normal", acknowledging that the chances are that the bastard will come back with a vengance some unknown number of years later but hopefully at least not until DC reach stable adulthood/marriage if they want/kids of their own. I spend longer worrying about the impact of me being ill will have on DC's GCSEs than I do about myself, irrational though that sounds. The idea that things might never be normal again isn't something I am ready to acknowledge.

HohiyiKozbevi · 06/10/2023 08:51

Meanwhile - does anyone else on the thread have any experience of the FOLFIRINOX/FOLFOXIRI chemo regime? I am expecting to start it in early November and I have been warned that it's not an easy one to tolerate but going in with all guns blazing is better than starting off with something lighter in my case. I've read the literature about it and the list of expected side effects sounds grim but it's not clear whether those are just during and immediately after the fortnightly dosing, or whether they will be there constantly throughout the 3 months. I am trying to juggle so many things and can't just switch off the rest of my life, so want to know if I can plan for days when I feel pretty much ok in the few days each fortnight that are immediately before the next dose.

BreakfastClub80 · 06/10/2023 09:38

@HohiyiKozbevi Im not having the chemo you’re having so I’m sure someone else will help more but after my (one and only so far) chemo I have found I had a lot of the side effects but only for a week or so. And most were manageable once I worked out how to manage them, iyswim? My chemo is every 3 weeks so I have had a break in between.

@TopOfTheCliff hoping your knee improves soon, these things just add insult to injury I know!

@lucysmam have you looked at any of the serums available? I was Googling last week and there were some designed to help encouraging re growth (revitalash maybe?, not quite sure what I saw but I think they had stuff for hair, lashes and eyebrows).

@doublec and @AllotmentTime i am also getting the genetic tests done as my sister had BC 7 years ago in her 40’s. She was BRCA negative but had similar thoughts to you, doublec. We don’t really know our family history as our mum died quite young (heart disease) and we both have daughters so I’m going to check again as I believe there are now other genes they’re looking for too? However, I don’t know what I will do with the information yet. I’m very much taking things step by step.

@AllotmentTime thanks for the advice about the port, they warned me generally but I think they always try to be positive. I’m feeling a lot more mobile today so the shock has worn off at least!

Have a good day everyone 💐

SummerCycling · 06/10/2023 14:18

@HohiyiKozbevi

I'm sorry, but I don't have experience of Folfirinox so can't give you any tips or advice. It does sound like a very tough combination.

Before I started treatment which included various chemos, the surgeon said I'd need a lot of support. I absolutely think that for a lot of people, chemo sometimes stops normal life for at least some of each cycle. It did for me, and I was very glad my husband did all the cooking, (and a lot more) for example.

What I found on EC Chemo was that I was pretty much a zombie for a week, then a bit more with it in week 2. I had four 2-weekly cycles. The chemos after that didn't affect my brain or strength like that at all, and so were much easier to deal with and I could function much more like normal (except I got neuropathy). They were Paclitaxel and Abraxane.

I think feeling somewhat better in the second week of 2-weekly cycles is often the case on chemo, but everyone reacts so differently to chemo, and I don't know anyone personally who's been on Folfirinox.

Do you have anything like a Maggie's Centre attached to your hospital? I'm trying to think of ways you could meet another person who's had the same treatment.

Silkiebunny · 06/10/2023 14:52

Sorry also didn't have that chemo type - had weekly Pax for 12 weeks. The oncologist when I asked gave a good description of how it would feel so worth asking - she said 3 weeks cycles it was awful week 1, meh week 2 normal week 3 for most people, 1 week cycle meh all the time. Keep a note each day of symptoms with first cycle and generally they repeat each cycle unless meds are altered.

Try and outsource anything you can and simplify anything you can so if you have a lovely husband who will do meals etc get them to do that otherwise things like online shopping and very easy meals. Get a digital thermometer and take temp every day and if ever over 38C call chemo line and they will get help immediately (even if its 2am call immediately) and that way should avoid getting really ill or at least reduce chances. I didn't get ill but was very careful only doing outdoor things and using hand gel a lot. If maybe worth looking online for groups for your type on cancer on things like Facebook and seeing if you can find someone to buddy up with through chemo or someone who has been through it already - I found both and those people were amazing.

Its tough with children going through GCSEs - I had 2 doing them, one did amazingly, one fell apart (the one who was super attached and SN). I did get a chemo cat which helped get the eldest through, Mr Floof. He also helped me immensely as well. We have just had 2 electricians in who were asking 20 minutes of questions about him, yesterday he poked me and knocked my bowl of soup over but he's such a lovely trilly, happy creature he takes your worries away for a while at least.

Scandimandy · 06/10/2023 15:10

Hi everyone, not been active for a bit but just caught up. For whoever was asking about EC and Paclitaxel. I have just had round 3 of EC, according to my diary I should be absolutely useless today, shaky and exhausted but they changed my injections (the white blood cell ones) to see if that would make a difference and I feel ok today so I'm taking that as a win. I can't remember what I was on but I am now on Lanograstim. I only have one more EC to go and then on to Paclitaxel, I've heard that one has a lot less side effects so looking forward to moving on. I'll only have 4 cycles every other week too so I'll be done by 13th December. Hope everyone has a great as can be weekend.

Scandimandy · 06/10/2023 16:08

What I forgot to say earlier. I have a long lost sister, long story but we have the same Mum different Dads. She is 14 months older than me and was adopted at birth and then our Mum married my Dad but went on to die in her early twenties from Cervical Cancer. My sisters adoptive parents were local (didnt think they di local adoptions but it was along time ago!) and saw her obituary in the newpaper and so got in touch to see what she died from, My family blocked the contact and kept it secret but I accidentally found out about her when I was 18 - another long story - we did meet then a couple of times but then lost touch. 35 years later she has tracked me down and it turns out she had BC same age as me but lobular rather than ductal. She got away with no chemo but had a lumpectomy and radiotherapy. I know they say Cervical C is not related to Breast C but maybe our Mum would have gone on to have BC later on if she had survived. Definitely a gentic thing for us though both having it.

SummerCycling · 06/10/2023 16:21

My hospital is really sorting out the problems now. Nice letter on the app from the radiology consultant, and a phone call from a nurse.

The nurse said she's correcting all the errors and will re-send the docs to my GP. She said if I ever notice mistakes again to please let them know.

Also got the referral I was hoping for.

Such a pity I let myself get so anxious, but it was really stressful reading a document so full of errors and the other things too. Hopefully I can now relax over the weekend with the thought that it's got sorted (presumably).

What is more exhausting? Checking and finding lots of errors in medical documents, or the treatment itself? if I can somehow limit my anxiety, then the first shouldn't upset me so much I think. I hope that in time, I will be able to keep calmer! What a panic face. 🙄

@Scandimandy

That's great news about the change of injections and that you feel ok today. I was on Filgrastim, and I know someone on Pegfilgrastim, so there seem to be several meds in that 'grastim family' of wbc injections.

Just read your last post and I'm so sorry you lost your Mum so young. What an amazing story about your sister.

I also only know the medical history of very few family members. My Dad was from a different country and had no access to doctors as a child, I know his Mum died very young. Then my Mum's side - my grandfather died when my Mum was 4, and no info about his family at all. The hospital therefore did a couple of genetic tests when I diagnosed with BC (results were negative).

doublec · 06/10/2023 16:59

@BreakfastClub80

My family history is pretty clear cut - maternal grandmother died from BC in her 40s, paternal aunt died from BC in her 30s. My father, his father and his father all died from pancreatic cancer. Add in we're of Ashkenazi Jewish descent and that already gives a 1 in 40 chance I would have a BRCA mutation. The fact I have mutations on both BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 is something no-one has seen before.

Give my genetics, my oncologist said that they would have thought my cancer would be triple negative, not hormone fuelled. I quipped 'give me time', and to his credit, he laughed albeit nervously.

For me, there's just no merit having preventative surgery as it doesn't remove the risk, particularly with regards to pancreatic cancer which scares me far more having seen my father succumb to it. Also, give both BRCA mutations, I'm at a greater risk of cancer full stop, so where does one stop removing bits/having risk reducing surgery, particularly as it can still spread to my brain, bones, lungs etc, the latter of which was how my mother died - lung cancer. And besides, chemo puts me at risk of cardiac arrest, no HRT brings more likelihood of heart disease. And even if I somehow miss all this, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Seriously though, I consider myself fortunate inasmuch as I do not have children so don't have to worry about potentially having passed my BRCA mutations on. My sister has tested negative, so she's fine, and by aunt's children don't have any BCRA mutations either. What I would be interested in knowing is if both my parents had both mutations, or if my mum had one and my dad the other, or just one of them had both mutations. There's no way of knowing sadly. But it's still fascinating trying to figure it out. I look forward to talking to both Great Ormond Street and the man at Guy's about my double BCRA - they're thrilled to have found me. Ha! Still, at least I'm of use now.

PS. Yes, there are other genes, something like 200 hundred of them. The main ones they tests for are BCRA 1, BRCA 2, PALB2 and another whose name I can't recall. IIRC, my surgeon told me that when they look at genetics, they look for any mutations on these genes, and if you have something they haven't seen before, or one of the many lesser mutations, they make a note and file that data away for future use. There's so much they're still discovering about genetics and cancer(s). Because the BCRA mutation is so rife in the Jewish community, that's why they're made so much research in that area as the inordinate amount of deaths from breast, ovarian, prostate and pancreatic cancer in this community made scientists start to study them, and why they discovered the BRCA mutation. Over the next decade, am sure they'll zone in more genes to test. But, it is still worth considering that testing and risk-reducing surgery only does so much. Even after a mastectomy, chemo and radiation, I will still have to check that (missing) breast for nodules or any other signs of the cancer recurring. And it's this really that stop me having the other breast removed until something actually happens.

Fingers crossed you're clear from BCRA and any other mutations.

doublec · 06/10/2023 17:09

HohiyiKozbevi · 06/10/2023 08:51

Meanwhile - does anyone else on the thread have any experience of the FOLFIRINOX/FOLFOXIRI chemo regime? I am expecting to start it in early November and I have been warned that it's not an easy one to tolerate but going in with all guns blazing is better than starting off with something lighter in my case. I've read the literature about it and the list of expected side effects sounds grim but it's not clear whether those are just during and immediately after the fortnightly dosing, or whether they will be there constantly throughout the 3 months. I am trying to juggle so many things and can't just switch off the rest of my life, so want to know if I can plan for days when I feel pretty much ok in the few days each fortnight that are immediately before the next dose.

I think my father had this for pancreatic cancer. He really struggled with it, but then his health wasn't brilliant at that point. He was very very tired, exhausted even.

I saw a friend who had breast cancer, a double mastectomy and chemo almost twenty years ago now. She made it very clear that I'm to rest as much as possible and ask others for help as much as possible, even with little things like hoovering, ironing and food shopping. It will be the same for you. It's no time to be superwoman during chemo! Like a PP has said, invest in a good thermometer and have a bag packed just in case you need to hot foot it to casualty should you temperature get too high.

Good luck with it all - I know with pancreatic and bowel cancers, they need to treat them aggressively.

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