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Cancer support thread 90 - still the best threads no one wants to be on

1000 replies

LemonDrizzle10 · 14/09/2023 08:07

Last one filled up quickly!

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TopOfTheCliff · 27/09/2023 09:25

@isaxx I think it is time I reposted Peter Harvey’s paper about recovery. I found a website that addresses the issue very well. See what you think:
http://www.livingwell-cancer-support.org.uk/docs/Peter%20Harvey%20-%20After%20the%20Treatment%20Finishes%20then%20What.pdf

It is the start of a long process of coming to terms with what has happened. I don’t find the analogy of going through a storm in a small boat or riding a rollercoaster that helpful as I enjoy both those things, but that is because I am an adrenaline junkie. Sitting doing nothing for 6 months has been much harder. Like being trapped in a glacier?
I think being kind to yourself and accepting the pace of recovery without impatience is the lesson I need to learn. I hope you find it helpful.

http://www.livingwell-cancer-support.org.uk/docs/Peter%20Harvey%20-%20After%20the%20Treatment%20Finishes%20then%20What.pdf

FairyWren7 · 27/09/2023 10:51

Thanks @TopOfTheCliff that is very timely for me and super helpful.

I want to plan. Always been a planner but need to pace myself a bit.

I thought the comments on fatigue were particularly useful for where I’m at. X

BreakfastClub80 · 27/09/2023 11:33

@TopOfTheCliff thanks for the paper on recovery, I’ll have a look later.

I am reading all your comments whilst lying in bed with a horrible headache, which I’ve had for 4 days now post chemo 1, and you are all so inspiring. I feel like I’ve fallen apart and all the plans I had to carry on in small ways have disappeared. DH is still at home with me, bless him. Should I be pushing myself more? And should I be starting to eat differently to create more energy? I’m interested in your experiences with the Zoe stuff but it’s too much to research right now.

Sorry this post is me, me ,me. I’ll return in a minute x

BreakfastClub80 · 27/09/2023 11:45

@Florabritannica brilliant news that the chemo has shrunk the tumour, definitely a celebration to be had there.

@Whattodotomorrow that is so unfair, just rubbish! I hope you feel well enough to enjoy the rest of the break with your family x

@SummerCycling I really don’t know what to say about your last appointment except that I am so sorry it was so difficult. There’s really no excuses and it’s no wonder you’re upset and anxious with treatment like that. You sound very strong to me x

Remaker · 27/09/2023 13:38

@HohiyiKozbevi I had a tumour in the transverse bowel, near my liver. It was about 6cm and had spread into the lining of the bowel but hadn’t come through the other side. I had cancer cells in one nearby lymph node. I had surgery first then adjuvant chemo. My brother also had surgery first for bowel cancer and his tumour was much larger than mine. Would it be worth seeking a second opinion from a different surgeon?

isaxx · 27/09/2023 15:43

@TopOfTheCliff thanks for that link to the paper. I will read it later tonight when I have a spare moment. Looks interesting and helpful.

Just saw my consultant plastic surgeon about nipple reconstruction and swelling (he also deals with lymphedema) and now I have been thrown into total fear again as he looked at the second nodule on my arm (the first was biopsied over a month ago and found to be cystic, so when a second nodule popped up it was just assumed to be the same so not even scanned). Ultrasound and biopsy booked for tomorrow to get to the bottom of it before doing anything else. I had completely ignored that nodule. The fact that he saw it as worth looking into separately has rather thrown me. Does this rollercoaster ever end? He booked it in as a rapid diagnostic so as to be done in time for my long scheduled follow up appointment with the initial breast surgeon on Friday.

Solidarity with all dealing with ongoing uncertainty. Is that all of us damn it?

TopOfTheCliff · 27/09/2023 16:17

@BreakfastClub80 all you have to do right now is survive. Healthy eating can come later. I got bad headaches due to dehydration so I would advise plenty of cordial or whatever you fancy to drink.

@isaxx you are so right about the ongoing uncertainty. It feels like walking through shifting sand and you think you have found a firm patch to stand on but then it shifts and you sink again. Happily my physio agreed that my shoulder is just an impingement and he can fix it. My worry level re the bone scan has dropped again nicely, which is just as well as I haven’t heard a peep from radiology.

Storm Agnes is raging here. It’s nice to be tucked up indoors
Top

doublec · 27/09/2023 17:03

@FairyWren7 I'm a rare case too, that is my MDT (and I'm at one of the biggest breast cancer hospitals in London) have never seen someone with both BCRA1 and BRCA 2 mutation. I bet radishes never get cancer. How I wish both of us could be radishes in this instance!

What I thought might be a brief interlude is now turning is to a long hard slog. I worry that they'll really throw the hard chemo at me. Can I ask what drugs you had and how many cycles? Am seeing the oncologist on Monday but am trying to focus myself in advance so I don't go into shock if he says something I wasn't expecting. (I've got a 30+ year history of fibroadenomas, so have many lumpectomies under my belt. The radiologist and consultant at my initial appointment were both certain I just had a few more, cancer wasn't on their radar, let alone mine. Even when I got called in, it never occurred to me I might have cancer. Have never been so caught out in my life and determined never to be again!)

Due to my (and my family) history, I opted for a mastectomy as the outset, and because I wanted to avoid radiotherapy. I was actually offered genetic testing a decade ago (after lump number4), but declined. Even knowing how it paned out, I would do the same again. And now I know I have both BRCA mutations, I just don't want any more surgery, after all, even though I have a far greater probability of developing another primacy BC and other cancers too, I might not, I might even be hit by a bus tomorrow. If I get another lump in my remaining breast, I'll have another mastectomy. But until then, I'll carry on as I am. Am going to Great Ormond Street to discuss everything with their genetics team, so will see how I feel after that. And should I decide to have a the remaining breast removed as well as my ovaries, this will not be happening any time soon, and most certainly not until I finish the chemo and radiotherapy merry-go-round.

Am so pleased that you're nearly out the other side. Where are you with everything? And yes, please, I might just take up your offer of a chat.

I think one of the most difficult things about cancer is that you never really know where you are. Once you have a handle on things, it's subject to change, many times over. I no longer think of things a bad news, just unwelcome or unexpected news. It's definitely been good for my mental health to view it like this.

@Hiris I don't mean to sound unsympathetic to your plight, so apologies if I do so, even though it's entirely unintentional.

You say it's due to cost that you feel they won't do further testing on you, but this isn't it at all. Giving someone unnecessary chemo is far more expensive. Nottingham prognosis isn't the most accurate, NHS Predict is better. What you need to consider that with no lymph node involvement and only a grade two tumour means that you're not high risk. It's that simple. Ultimately, and again, I must apologise, but you're not a breast cancer professional. You can read all the studies you like, but your MDT, and remember, it's a team of people, not just one person who discuss your results and they decide on the most effective form of treatment. If there had been anything in your pathology report that was cause for concern, they'd have sent your tissue for Oncotype DX. The MDT see all sorts of cancers and they have a pretty good idea who needs chemo and who doesn't. Personally, I'd be thanking the gods to have been deemed unsuitable for it. I know I would love to give it a miss. By all means, pay for your own testing if it gives you piece of mind. But, before you do, maybe consider getting a second opinion from a different hospital, if only to put your own mind at rest. Good luck, however you proceed.

As your team have probably told you, your cancer (and treatment plan) is unique to you, so what my plan is, is of little relevance. However, and as you asked - at first diagnosis, I was told lumpectomy, radiotherapy and ET, pending MRI. I had other lumps, only one of which has been biopsied because all had shown as M2, and only one had shown as US3, so they biopsied that one. I knew the MRI would prompt a guided ultrasound, which it did which resulted in a further three core biopsies (in one go). Ouch. A liver scan later, benign, thankfully, my surgeon called to say that they had found a second focus of grade 3 cancer, so they were recommending a mastectomy, something I had already decided on due to wanting to avoid radiotherapy. Plan was then - mastectomy, ET and oncoptype testing. On return of the pathology report, they told I needed radiotherapy after all. At this point, I had to be open to the very real probability chemo would be a shoo-in. And it was. Will find out the exact details when I see the Oncologist on Monday.

Whattodotomorrow · 27/09/2023 17:14

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Today I managed to be upright and have kept some food down. @isaxx you hit the nail on the head in that I’m putting so much pressure on myself about this break. I think I thought I was out of the woods but obviously not quite yet. I hope your biopsy goes well tomorrow and it’s nothing sinister. I’m impressed the surgeon was on it. Plan your holiday…it helped me through the darker days.

@TopOfTheCliff thanks for the link. I’ll read it later but it sounds like just the thing I need at this stage. Recovery is going to take time.

@SummerCycling I’m so sorry to read about your experience with poor practice. I do think the system is so stretched that mistakes and poor profession is just accepted now. Which is completely awful. I’ve had the majority of my treatment with the nhs but I did go private for the surgery. To cut a long story short, it meant I got a particular surgeon who actually gave an opinion rather than others who gave me options and asked me what I wanted. I just wanted to be told! But even at the private hospital there were so many admin/nursing errors…far more than at the nhs. If I’d had the strength I probably would have complained but I was at a point of cba.

SummerCycling · 27/09/2023 18:27

@EachandEveryone

Can you ask the radiotherapy ladies about the itchiness? Mine asked me about my skin and I got the feeling they'd have helped if necessary (my skin held up fine during those 3 weeks). Good luck in any case.

@Hiris

I'm sorry, but having gr3 Her2+++ oestrogen neg, I don't know anything about Oncotype because a whole bucket load of chemo was automatic in my case. I hope you get the answers you're looking for.

@Whattodotomorrow

That is truly terrible timing for the stupid sickness and diahorrea to raise its ugly head. I really hope it improves soon and you get to enjoy some of your well deserved holiday. xxx

@TopOfTheCliff

Thank you for the link to that paper. I started reading and am going to print it out it sounded so helpful.

@BreakfastClub80

Thank you xxx.

My consultant radiologist has now (today) written to my surgeon and oncologist with the exact radiotherapy treatment I had. She also sent me a letter on their hospital app. Hopefully, the treatment summary can be corrected with that info now at least.

As for the stuff about the multiple cancerous lymph nodes being omitted, I hope they can fix that without a consultant writing to tell them because it was the same hospital plus I sent the nurse an email myself with the info from the MRI report on diagnosis.

I'm gradually calming down about it, but I do get anxious quite quickly these days.

They gave me a check in person yesterday with a surgeon plus an ultrasound, so enough evidence now that there are issues (not cancer back, but stuff like congestion, very thickened skin etc). the other nurse had said there were no abnormalities.

Whoops I submitted this too soon, will continue on next post! xxx

SummerCycling · 27/09/2023 18:38

@Whattodotomorrow

just read your update from today and am so happy to hear things have improved a little for you. I really hope you feel a significant improvement tomorrow, now you managed to keep some food down today. xxx Every day counts when you're finally on holiday, doesn't it.

I'm sorry to hear that even the private hospital made lots of errors. It's just unbearably stressful as a patient because it makes it harder for us to trust the people we need to trust with our lives.

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to be guided rather than have the decision put on your shoulders. I am very grateful my team gave me the treatment plan and there were no questions at all about what I wanted or didn't want (other than did I want reconstruction or not).

I wouldn't have coped with being asked what treatment I wanted - especially back then when I still thought breast cancer was one disease ( now I know there are an infinite number of variables, multiple diseases etc under the umbrella term BC).

My team said full mastectomy with full lymph node clearance all 3 levels. I signed the papers and that was that, I really feel relieved it wasn't up to me. I have no medical training and couldn't possibly have made an informed decision. I'm glad to hear you also got the guidance you needed with your surgeon.

I also feel complaining is a waste of precious energy. I was told by one hospital to make a formal complaint about the other one back in 2022, but now all I want is to request corrections and I keep ranting politely requesting and reminding till its done.

xxx

FairyWren7 · 27/09/2023 23:19

@doublec its a tough journey to go on. I always knew I had a risk of gynae cancer as my grandmother died from it in the 1970s but I was less aware of the breast cancer/BRAC link. My dad seemed to think that we were at less risk than my aunt and her kids. Really naive. But I think our awareness of cancer and genetic risk has become much better over the last few years. I’ve had endometriosis so was always worried about that because it’s similar in some ways - certainly symptom wise to cancer.

I had 12 rounds of chemo, four of what the call the red devil - duxorubicin and then 8 of the paclitaxcel but the dose changed towards the end as I had some issues along the way.
I then had surgery and I’ve just finished 15 rounds of radiotherapy aimed at the right side (they took my nodes out from there).

The duxorubicin just made me sleep. But I got very unwell on round 9 and ended up with DVTs and a PE in ICU. Any shortness of breath flag it. I did, I kept saying I felt very unwell and then when it got worse because they seemed to think it was normal i soldiered on until I was very unwell.

I’m feeling a lot better after radio and being able to see the end of the process. Mentally I’m ok at the moment, but that is up and down.

Reading the article @TopOfTheCliff has shared has helped a bit.

Best wishes :)

lucysmam · 28/09/2023 15:55

After my moan the other day about appointment booking being frustrating, I've just had a lovely chat with one of the receptionists at the chemo suite seeing if I could alter next Friday's appointment to the same day as the CT scan. Turns out Friday is to start on the Goserelin & they hadn't booked bloods yet so they're now booked for after the CT.

I've finally remembered the list of medications if anyone has any experience of them to share...? They're Letrozole, Abemaciclib, Denosumab, and Goserelin.

Hope you're all doing ok? I have a few days catching up to do. I've been busily painting, and crafting, as always. And working through my sort the house out list, too. It's looking better but will definitely need another go round!

dotty2 · 28/09/2023 16:13

hi @lucysmam - I'm on 3 of those: letrozole, abemaciclib and gosrelin. The letrozole and the gosrelin go together really, as one menopause-inducing package. The gosrelin switches off your ovaries, and the letrozole stops any other part of your body producing oestrogen. My side effects haven't been too bad. I'd started getting menopause symptoms anyway during chemo and these haven't worsened, in fact I seem to get fewer hot flushes now, after a few months of taking the hormone treatment. I have some aches and pains in my hands and wrists, and get stiff if I sit too long, and my skin noticeably looks older on my neck, but it's not too bad so far - I guess these things might get worse over time.

With the abemaciclib, I do feel tired, and I found it got much harder to exercise when I started taking it. But it's not unmanageable. The main side effect people get is diarrhoea, and it hasn't been too bad for me. No rushing to the loo at random times, but I do have definitely loose bowels, and I am finding I need to limit high fibre food like dried fruit and pulses. I hope it's all manageable for you too.

lucysmam · 28/09/2023 16:34

Thanks @dotty2, menopause symptoms started for me during chemo too & the more I talk about it with my friends (we've been for lunch today), I realise I have had quite a lot of the same as them anyway. It's not been too bad so far - hot flushes are a thing of randomness though!

Glad to see your experience of the abemaciclib hasn't been too bad - I have invested in some immodium, just in case as that was the side effect my consultant stressed the most! I'm usually quite tired anyway, hopefully I can continue to just carry on as I do & rest when I need to (apart from at work - I want to be bounding around that yard playing tig 🤣).

Silkiebunny · 28/09/2023 16:45

Went to see oncologist today, first time seen her since October, she is the loveliest and best oncologist and so kind.

She thinks my symptoms are likely to be FND (so like from stress etc - pins and needles, numbness, burning are symptoms down 1 side) but is doing a CT of head to make sure. I also think its stress and they have improved apart from in face but that does improve in steam room. They did some bloods though she said I have been wrongly recorded as still on chemo and they shouldn't have taken those but its fine and not had them for a year. And was running nearly 2 hours late. Discussed changing to Letrozole and she said I need to be off Tamoxifen for 6 weeks then a second blood test to confirm in menopause, am sure I am no periods since March 22 thanks to chemo. She said letrozole only works if ovaries shut down. But omg they took my weight and I have put so much on with Tamoxifen and I had no idea I had done that, 8kgs since Jan 23rd, ouch. I have been exercising a lot so quite shocked by that though I do swim a mile then have a McDonalds which may be where I am going wrong. 😂I spent years being really thin with BMI of about 19 and never having to consider weight until mid 40s.

Silkiebunny · 28/09/2023 16:51

I need to lose those 8kgs I gained on Tamoxifen but not sure best way to do that. We eat pretty healthily apart from McDonalds after swimming and minimal alcohol. I do need to be high in calcium still and enough energy to swim. I currently do 1,600 a day which kept me stable in chemo but maybe I have miscounted milky coffee and elderflower squash. I thought would switch all drinks to water but I need the calcium so maybe I will do 4 x tea with no sugar but a lot of milk, 1 yoghurt and water but not sure what else other than fruit and veg. I probably should eat before swimming that might help.

Silkiebunny · 28/09/2023 16:53

I think I get water retention with Tamoxifen so will be interesting to see how much weight changes off it though oncologist seemed to think that would not alter things that much. But my toes are all swollen and my hands and my neck.

RedRosesPinkLilies · 28/09/2023 17:13

@Silkiebunny - my calcium runs low and I’m on calceos (prescription), but could you take a calcium tablet to supplement your intake? Just watch what else it contains - in case anything interferes with other meds you’re on

TopOfTheCliff · 28/09/2023 17:43

@lucysmam I am postmenopausal but after IV Chemo I had very sore joints and was stiff and sore in the mornings and the anastrozole was giving me awful vaginal dryness. I went out with some girlfriends and realised they all had the same without having been through cancer treatment. Also although I had lost my hair and it was growing back curly and dark all of them have gone grey so I actually look much younger than them. My skin is lovely too, all the sun damage has melted away with chemotherapy. On balance I think I will come out of this about the same as I went in but with better skin and hair! There is just the extra weight to lose and the neuropathy and scars…it’s not all bad though

lucysmam · 28/09/2023 17:49

Thanks @TopOfTheCliff I have been wondering how much of the achey legs is down to the chemo - I'm quite ok with things as they are so hoping nothing crops up with the next set of meds. My hair's coming back with what looks like natural highlights which has been a surprise & I don't seem to have had any symptoms as bad as some of my friends have had (so far 🤞).

It was quite an eye opener nodding along to the "I've had this and that and the other" conversation. I presumed it was just me re-adjusting but perhaps not!

Ikeameatballlunch · 28/09/2023 18:04

Hello - so, so sorry I don't post much. I feel so stretched by life I find it hard to keep up with the thread. I know I need still go back and answer some kind posts from a week or two ago!

10 days into tamoxifen- ups and downs. Some symptoms have passed quickly and I found magnesium spray sorted out bone aches quickly. I also weirdly could concentrate much better at times (but I'd just had a few weeks with no hrt.)

Major thing to hit last few days are the night sweats and insomnia. Could handle when it was once and I went back to sleep. Last night I think it was 5 times plus a couple of hours of insomnia.

Does this pass?!

I did eat a mince pie in the afternoon...!

I take in the morning; BC nurse has mentioned playing with timings. But want to speak to her first. It makes me a bit buzzy so wasn't sure if night would be good.

I'm also frequently v cold and really am having to watch my weight and eat more, lose to too low at the moment.

Ikeameatballlunch · 28/09/2023 18:05

(Fully aware I may gain weight again as time goes on and be annoyed I can't shift it!)

Ikeameatballlunch · 28/09/2023 18:13

Ds is playing with his Lego so can catch up properly on thread.

Hoping everyone is ok.

Silkiebunny · 28/09/2023 19:20

Thanks Red Yes that's true could take a supplement, I do take the wellwoman 50 around once a week which I had approval on. I think my calcium levels are good, its just I thought I should cut cheese and coffee and tea then I remembered need to keep calcium. Its sugar and McDonalds I need to cut really but I love sugar. McDonalds don't care much about its just as end up starving after swimming.

And DD was on again about I shouldn't do DIEP and should do implants. She might be right though I think she is assuming I will die in the DIEP operation.

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