Great I am sure it will be fine with your answer but maybe ask employer if you are getting SSP atm, my guess would be yes via employer and its part of your sick pay but check with them. Then if it is yes maybe call the ESA number to change your answer and sure it will be fine. I am sure lots of people will get that one wrong and no way would you end up in jail even if you don't do that. Surely they must know as well.
I did 12 weekly Paclitaxel but no carbo, I was not allowed to cold cap as weekly and not enough staff but did my own version of frozen peas on my head each week under a tight fitting chemo hat. Nurses thought I had lost the plot initially but then they became fascinated by it as I kept a fair amount of my hair. I am 3 weeks post and have a short bob of hair about an inch past my ears about 70% of normal thickness. I cut it from my long hair about 6 weeks in and at its worst went to about 50%, I lost it from the sides and back where the peas did not cover but the hair from the top also went down so had the top 50% of my hair. So I would say cold cap is well worth trying. I hated my hair at 50% but now am so glad I did not listen to advice to cut it all off as in past 3 weeks has already gone to more like 70% and now just need to grow it maybe 4 more inches to get it back to more like how it was before.
I also find it hard planning for death and life and can't quite get my head around it. I am very much a person who likes to plan and it throws me. Though as DD put it you are either dead so that's fine as you won't know anything or your alive which is fine too. They aren't really fine with cancer but you do come through the blind terror part and as time has gone on I've got a lot more like whatever will be will be, I can't change it other than do the treatment, then I have done all I can, and stressing about it is just ruining the life I have left so you reach a point where you become calmer. I do try and do what you really want now though trouble is with cancer plus covid rules that is not always possible. But with things like the cat I got the kitten I always wanted. I also feel I got to 48 cancer free (well not cancer free but without knowing) and if had been born 100 years ago or earlier that would have been normal life expectancy. Plus I travelled a lot, had kids, went to university, did almost every job I really wanted to do, husband, lovely pets and I feel I lived a very good life in those years so I am as at peace with me dying for me as I can be though still want to live. There is very little I really wanted to do I haven't. Its my son I worry for not me if I die. He is SN and very dependent and its a shambles with his education even though he is super bright and gentle. My daughter is very capable and successful, lots of friends and though only 16 I feel she would be OK. It did take me a while to reach that point, maybe at some point during chemo, so after the initial tests, surgery and surgery results. My maximum terror I would say was just before chemo and at surgery results. So hopefully Try you will reach that point before too long. I think once you have all the results and all the treatment plan you know what you are facing. That point kind of peaked my terror then after that I began to adapt to it and realise that I had to do the treatment then accept I had no control over when I died. But its a weird change. Doing a few nice things helps.
Max depression was in chemo but that was steroids with it and the complete shambles of DSs education at same time plus DD GCSEs at same time. Mainly DSs. And zero mental health support from NHS though Macmillan offered 6 sessions which helped. Having a 24/7 line helped. And only 5% of people react like me to steroids. The physical effects of Pax chemo the main bad one I had was neuropathy which was very bad at the start, losing balance and lost feeling in legs and gums as well as tingling hands and feet and then it improved with weeks off and going down to 90% from cycle 4. Now its over I just have neuropathy in hands and feet and appearance trashed but a month on that is improving. I hope neuropathy will go, it comes and goes apart from one thumb which I have been told is a sign it will go. My energy levels dipped in chemo a lot as well, though a can't sleep on steroids day 1 to 3 then very sleepy rest of week is more accurate but around 2 to 3 weeks after came back, just before radio hits again. Sickness very little on Pax and there are so many meds for that and they put you on loads. I have a sickness phobia but actually had so little sickness I reduced the meds It is worth keeping a weekly diary as cycles tend to be similar and call 24/7 line any issues as there is lots they can help with. Other than neuropathy its very rare to get a bad reaction with Pax that is why I chose Pax. And if you take your temp with a digital thermometer twice a day or if feel ill and report if over 38C to the chemo line asap they told me there is virtually no chance of getting sepsis.
I have not had lymphoedema, I was told exercise was key to prevent it and key if got it by the nurses, when I looked online it was swimming arm type movements.
Love to everyone. I start radio on 4th and then after may have reconstruction but 1 to 2 year wait for that. Oh and those lovely hormone tablets. I certainly was very depressed and incredibly anxious with it at times, esp anxiety would say, it was very much keep screaming and carry on with me at times but now chemo is finished I am a lot more meh about it. I think people vary in when depression / anxiety hits and stops. Now I feel worst of treatment is over and I am also used to scans etc so I go in and like its just another one. Chemo anxiety is worst first cycle as you don't know what to expect. I got through first one telling myself could stop if it was that bad which you can. Each cycle was similar apart from the adjustments. So anxiety does reduce then as there is more certainty. For me chemo was like the equivalent of mild flu for 3 to 4 months, not great but doable and it was the mental health side I struggled with but that was largely 3 big things at once and also no mental health support. And it made me ramble and grumpy with things. But there were good times like walking on Farne Island, May Bumps party in Cambridge, boat trip seeing puffins in Wales, getting a Maine Coon kitten in chemo, there will be good days inbetween the rubbish ones and once done you know you have thrown everything at the cancer. I also only had a 6% chance of a benefit from it but ask them what that benefit is Great for me it was defined as being alive in 10 years so that's quite a benefit when you have kids. I was terrified and screaming at the idea of chemo but did it so I did all I could to help chances of it not reoccuring. It is frustrating not knowing if its a waste of time but that is the state of knowledge atm and you have to work with that and do what think best at time.
Oh and ESA I was also told to attend in person. I refused saying risk of covid was too great, I also had a few difficult people with ESA, but they did it over phone and after a few months when sorted I just get paid it for another year and a half or so and no more sick notes, no calls until Oct 23. You just have to get through the unhelpful bit, really rubbish you have to deal with that Try