Fat belly? No. Ovarian Cancer belly (pt 2)

[TwitterQueen1]

The story of my ovarian cancer discovery is here

This is such an important health issue - there's a reason why OC is called the 'silent killer'. I really want more women to be aware of what few symptoms there are (I wasn't).

This is my story. I hope it's a long one.

[[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzu8ZxBHMWk
]]]

What's making me sad though, is that I'm effectively stopping work forever. I have a very strong work ethic - drilled into me by my parents. I've worked since I was 13, starting with the most awful paper round. And then loads of Saturday jobs, plus holiday jobs during uni, plus, plus, plus.

Pyschologically this is a huge step for me. Yes, it's fantastic that I have this option that I've only just understood (head in the sand? me?) but I feel like I'm signing my working life away. I want it, I need it, I think I deserve it, but it's a mega step...

I've always been very proud of the fact that I've had a succession of very good jobs and earned a good salary and supported my children. A part of me is feeling that with the cancer, minus a job, and as a single person, what am I worth? Or rather, where do i draw my self-esteem from?

Thanks Ringle! am now singing

Reckon I might watch South Pacific this weekend.

I think I can understand (not from experience admittedly) what you mean about your self esteem etc if/when you give up work.

Fwiw you're a pretty remarkable presence on Mumsnet for me and I've learned a lot from you, so you should hold on to that. It depends on what you want to do, but I think you'd be a great voice for raising awareness of ovarian cancer, if you feel that's something you could do.

But you have a while to think about what you want to do next - don't see it as an end, just a different direction.

Agree, there are people on here making a massive impact who are invalided out of work. People can have a voice here.

Thanks both. I'm a bit of loud-mouth on the quiet (ha ha), meaning that people at work certainly wouldn't describe me as such but my friends might. I will indeed be shouting loud and clear about OC.

There's a lot more for you to give the world outside the demands of the work environment TQ.

Hi Twitter . I saw this thread yesterday and have been reading your previous one and this one. I'm really sorry to hear that the cancer is back. I can completely understand you having mixed feelings about retiring from work.
Is it something you could go back to later as a contractor if you want to? My mum retired from teaching at 60 but was able to go back for a few days a week and still keep getting her pension.

I'm sorry about this, TQ. Just what you don't need.

Have you made any plans for Christmas with your girls?

Hi Twitter, I’ve read through both threads over the last few days and was really sorry to hear the news after your last scan. I just wanted to add my voice to all those wishing you well and say a massive FUCK YOU to cancer in all its manifestations.

Please don’t feel bad about retiring, you’ve earned it and it means you can focus on yourself and your DDs.

Twitter, you are amazing - I had borderline o/c (crap name for it, it is really o/c not pretend!) when I was 30, which was a tad surprising. I am now 49 ....my health is utterly shit as I have all sorts of auto immune diseases possibly kicked off by the trauma of cancer young, but I am still here.

I wanted to say that you write beautifully and you're funny so when you stop work perhaps you could capitalise on that by writing? Then you would still have a job....but a much easier one to cope with.

ThymeOut you and I had the same type of cancer 'borderline ovarian cancer'. It's such a crap name for it ..isn't it? I was 30, this was 2 decades ago, and the hospital consultant had never dealt with it before. I was told I was very rare which was scant consolation!

Sorry for slight derail TQ.

PPR I'm another borderline. My oncologist told me he sees around 2 a year.

Power and EMV

Yes - but Top-Doc at St Thomas' is of the 'not cancer' school of thought. He calls it Borderline Ovarian Tumour, which is now the WHO definition. He did say it was controversial how to categorise it and I'm sure, if I were younger, or one of the unlucky few with a recurrence which had mutated into low grade, I might feel differently. I'm in my 70s and there are plenty of other things which might get me first.

Yes - it is rare - about 3/4 in 100,000, and even rarer in my age group. I was originally mis-diagnosed by my local hospital and turned up at St Thomas' expecting to hear about a chemo regime, so I'm still in euphoric mode. Never has anyone been more pleased to hear they were about to have major abdominal surgery.

But much more worrying when you're 30, with all the fertility preserving considerations.

TQ - did you have shaky hands before chemo? I developed a tremor about 7 years ago, inherited from my mother. I've heard that beta-blockers might help, but haven't tried them. Would that be possible for you?

TQ I’m sorry to read it’s back - I was sending you cashews on your first thread. A very good friend of mine was retired in her early fifties for health reasons, she used her professional background to help her become a trustee for a charity in which she had an interest, when you are less time constrained by doctors appointments & have more headspace might you enjoy something similar? There is an excess of accountants as charity trustees, I read recently that charities need more help from people with marketing & digital skills.

More cashews coming your way together with a hot drink at your bedside before you get up this morning.

EatYourVeg and Thyme - wow things have moved on since my day. It was 20 years ago for me....aged 30...and as you point out, Thyme, I initially had fertility-sparing surgery but then 'it' came back after I was lucky enough to have a child naturally. It was definitely considered cancer back then. I was told that it does NOT respond to chemo, and although slow growing, if it got big enough the disadvantage was there was zero treatment...unlike 'normal' oc.

I hope you are both proceeding through it OK....I remember ringing the ovarian cancer helpline in bits and they were helpful.

Thyme - I was just like you - euphoric to hear I only had borderline as I had been told I had a 20cm mass in my ovary and another one on the other side along with fluid in my pelvis, when I researched online it would have put me on quite a high stage with 'normal' oc. In the end I had fairly drastic surgery leaving me a postage stamp of ovary which was miraculously enough to have my child. Then when it came back I had to have a full hysterectomy - enough was enough.

Tx for the cashews BigGreen I don't have much of an appetite right now but I can always eat a nut or two.

DDs coming home tonight & tomorrow am. It'll be odd having them home again, but lovely.

Having a bad day today. It doesn't seem real.

. Hope that you have a lovely weekend with your DD.

Many thanks for chipping in on the awards thread.

Was going to come on here anyway, wondering if you've seen the article on parp inhibitors in the Mail Online today? There's a new drug - Zejula - that is now thought to benefit all ov ca patients after first line chemo and a NICE meeting in Jan to decide whether it will be available on the NHS. Tablet form. Sounds v promising. Would it benefit you?

Hope you are feeling less wobbly and enjoying your dds.

I'm off work today with a bug and have just spent time reading both of your threads. What a shitty time you've had but your wit and character shine through in your posts.

I do hope that you are able to enjoy some time with your dd's at Xmas, they sound marvellous and I'm sure will manage to create a great dinner for you all.

Good luck going forwards.

Oh Thyme no I haven't seen that. Someone mentioned it to me earlier today but I'd forgotten already... will go take a look. Am seeing my consult on 5th Jan so I will mention it to her. Thank you!

Hello JoJo and meatballs Thank you too.

Hello TQ, I was also logging on to draw your attention to the new ovarian cancer drug reported in the press . It does sound encouraging and I hope it might be a possibility for you.
I am sure you must be enjoying having the dds home !

To everyone who has posted on this and my previous thread, huge, huge thanks and best wishes and unmumsnetty hugs and Happy Christmas to you all.

You have been a huge source of strength and support to me and I am very grateful. I still need you for 2018.

I hope you are all having a lovely rest and enjoying the festivities and I wish you all the very best for 2018 - health, peace, joy and contentment. And to everyone else in a similar position to me, let's just take it one day at a time.

That's a lovely message, TQ.

I hope you have a great fun Christmas.