Lacies, elephants, potato-based snacks... Whatever we are, this is our 57th CANCER SUPPORT THREAD

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Welcome everyone to another cancer support thread. This thread is open to anyone with any sort of cancer. And we have plenty of hands to hold if you're undergoing tests for cancer. We are always pleased to wave people off with an all clear, and there's plenty of room here if the news isn't what you hope for.

So don't be shy! We are a friendly bunch and there's probably someone who has been through something similar. Nothing is off limits here. Scream, shout, swear, stamp your feet...

I'm sorry that anyone needs this thread, but very glad that it's here. Cancer is shit. But it's a little bit less shit when you have people to share it with.

Our previous thread is here

Good afternoon lacies, haven't posted for ages but do read regularly to see what/where people are up to . I have have been thinking of everyone who may need good thoughts. love and welcome to everyone who has joined although would not have wanted you to go through this shitty time. My apols for not mentioning everyone .
leslie I think you must have the memory of a mammoth never mind an elephant quite in awe thank you for organising the thread and glad that you are out of hospital.
jo laughed at the hair blowing away in the wind, think that was the push to get mine clippered off after talking to one if the mums on the school run with the wind behind me and covering her in limp locks , my son is 10 and was really upset at me losing my hair but got used to it along the way.
bobdylin1 go fir the whiskey when I first saw the oncologist and get asked me how much I drank the reply of "there isn't enough vodka in the day at the moment" just made him laugh.
It's 8 weeks since I finished chemo and I have a covering of verrrry grey hair and the tache is starting to grow back , what is that all about . Last of 23 rads tomorrow and I am shitting myself at being set free after 9 months of treatment and worrying constantly about it coming back. It's also pissing me off that people think it's all over and I should be as happy as larry instead of a miserable cow ehich us partly due to the tax/taxol leaving me with muscle pain not helped by the anastrozle, ialso seem to have developed to tourettes which is getter harder to control .
I am looking to go back to work November and had been told my role is changing which will almost certainly mean down banding and am brassed off that a 2 weeks phased return is considered adequate after treatment!
Sorry for the whinge, it's probably 9 the reason I don't post alot

Hello Helly good to hear from you. You are not whinging! The reason we have this thread is to come onit and talk and be talked to because we all understand what it is like. Please don't think you have to folow up on everybody here..there are no rules for posting..just be yourself and even wehn it seems to you that you are takking about yourself and complaining, you still are helping others who can not express things as well and feel better reading that others feel the same way.
re. The injections i had them too and though everybody on chemo got them! I was so so anxious about onjecting myself at first but soon got the hang of it. Oh the skills we learn because of the bloody cancer!
Take care all.

I like to read about people moaning; it makes me feel far less guilty; possibly because I am insufferably cheerful to the rest of the world.
Two weeks phased return sounds ridiculous helly

Just had my hair washed and dyed. I went in wanting to be a conker and have come out a blonde ginger. It was my own fault, I went to pieces when faced with the executive decision !!! It shouldn't really be an issue if I ever get to the chemo stage . I'm planning to have a short chop and go conker next time, but didn't get it cut this time as I'm going to donate it. God Help Them; but if I can live with it, I'm sure they can

Minty, that's frustrating. Cutting out the gin on the cornflakes might be a first step

Chewing. I should get the all clear to drive on Thursday when I have the drain out (it wont be any earlier now as I've scored 75 and 60 ml on the juicy scale for the last two days); but you only need to shout. I don't want you wasting money on taxis for chemo that doesn't happen .

Thinking of going to Devon at weekend. Will look out for the hat shop (in hope); that's if I have any money left. I have a bad gambling habit and every year lose money on those "tipping point" machines. Last year it was £1.22 and my DH had to drag me away.

Dorset, Lymme Regis. that should be.
Flying kites; looking for fossils and hard core gambling.

tutti how did you guess it was the gin?! DH got a bottle of rhubarb gin for his last birthday and we've both become a bit partial to a glass with ginger wine

As to the gambling, you can't beat those machines! I'm a bit of a fiend at 'splat the rat', which thinking about it I could really do with playing at times these days

helly you're going through another difficult stage with the end of treatment and back to work. You feel really vulnerable being let go into the real world and it is hard to adjust. 2 weeks phased return is not long enough although better than I had last year when I went back after 7 weeks off for rads and recovery and my boss didn't even say hello to me on my first day!

But whinge away, it's good to get it out and if it spares you whinging at people in the real world then moan away on here

tutti it was a little hat shop tucked away in a backstreet. The lady had proper hats but then lots of woolly hats where it looked like she had reused old cashmere or woolly jumpers and fashioned them together with applique etc to make hats. I'll see if icN attach a photo

Might not be your thing but I wore them all the time over the last 2 winters as they are really comfy and warm

Oh they look nice Minty.
Was thinking of just going down the scarf route, but it's been really chilly the last few mornings and I have a lot of hair insulation to replace.

I like Sloe Gin in Winter, before lunch after a long cold walk.

Liking the Splat the Rat idea if I'm not insolvent and destitute after the penny falls game.

Evening all
Tutti that's very kind of you I'm positive chemo will go ahead next week (providing the infected finger clears up). Enjoy the weekend away.
royal you have to inject yourself? I expect to be hopeless at that. Maybe they don't give them out as a matter of course because of the faff
helly 2 weeks phased return is ridiculous! Have you had an OH assessment? My report states that work should expect me to be off for up to 12 months and then to have a phased return after that.

helly I had 6 months off in total and am 4 weeks in to a 6 week phased return. I work for a big company and it was OH who suggested the structure then I got sick note that covered it.
Once you have a sick note/fit to work note they are obliged to comply with it. I am certain your drs would be happy to support you in this.
Mine has been 2 weeks at 50%, 2 weeks at 60% and these last 2 weeks at 75%. Basically this week and next I'm doing 9 -2pm for my 4 days - this is the first week I get to stay for lunch!

I saw dr today and you were right I do feel better, I'm having surgery hopefully next Thursday, he said he'll do a neat job nipple removal I'm dreading it but it has to go no way round it, n very likely radiation I'm fairly big chested so he said won't make much of a difference to shape. We told kids this evening that I was sick needed operation but didn't tell them it's cancer. I want it out now.

You will feel better Bob, you're out of the twilight zone and now have an idea of what you're facing.

minty that's a pretty accurate description of my bedroom

I am not so sure about the human hair cocoon chewing think I might leave that for the cute mice in my garden! Injecting yourself isn't as bad as it sounds. I know I have been making rather a fuss but the blood thinning ones really sting. I don't think the GCSF ones do (hopefully someone who has had them can confirm). I had my eggs frozen before chemo last time and the injections for that were much easier. My chemo unit doesn't seem to give the injections as standard either, though I don't know that many breast cancer patients so maybe it depends what chemo they are on. Perhaps one of the "normal" (sorry, not implying you're abnormal!) breast cancer chemo regimes is more likely to cause issues. Otherwise it seems a bit wasteful to give them to everyone when they don't know who will need them.

helly good luck with your last treatment lots of people have a post treatment wobble, and you are dealing with the work situation too. Grr.

Tutti what a lovely idea to donate your hair. Is that with the Little Princess Trust?

bob good that you now have a plan. Which part of it are you dreading? Whatever you are worried about there is probably someone who has been through the same and can reassure you

I hope everyone has a lovely day. I am seeing the oncologists later. It will be good to know what the plan is with my chemo. It was cancelled last week and I haven't been given a new appointment yet. I feel rather adrift!

I'm having a wide incision to remove nipple and some dcis present I'm really worried about how it's gonna look after terrified, I now maybe that sounds very vain, and I'm not vain believe me I'm not a selfish person but I'm feeling very selfish at the moment, I know I should be thankful it's treatable and there are worse off than me I won't have chemo at the moment that's situation anyway I'm feeling very.

Leslie I hope the onc appointment goes well. I am donating it to the Princess Trust. It has to be 6 to 8 inches long (can't remember which), I didn't know this before the last chop (I was doing it by degrees); but it's growing like the clappers, and I think I have about 9-10 inches at the minute.

Have just booked Waitrose for Dorset. Getting very excited about my high rolling weekend in the Las Vegas of the South West. (otherwise known as Lyme Regis) Just got to get the wound dressing and drain out of the way tomorrow and I'm off to the bright lights of Dorset.

bob you don't sound vain or selfish! You sound like someone who has received an unpleasant diagnosis and now has to undergo unpleasant treatment. I can't reassure you much as I haven't had the surgery. Hopefully someone with more experience will be along shortly :)

Have they mentioned any sort of reconstruction? A couple of friends have had new nipples created. They look very realistic. So that might be an option.

Honestly it is not vain or selfish to resent having changes to your body forced upon you! There will always be people worse off. But that doesn't mean you can't feel sorry for yourself if you genuinely feel thankful then that's good, but it's not something you can or should force yourself to feel. We have had pretty much every feeling on here, so go for it :) shout, scream, swear, cry, whatever helps you through the day

Tutti have a lovely time in Lyme Regis!

Bob. I know exactly how you feel; and you aren't vain. After every op, I'm scared to look at the wound and deliberately don't at the wound dressing. I take myself off afterwards and look on my own in the bathroom.

I understand how you must feel regarding the loss of your nipple. It's shit and it's not going to look "right" to you, and you are going to be fearful.

Can I reassure you, that I have expected the worst every time; as they have taken bigger and bigger chunks out of my breast; but I can honestly say that looking at it wasn't as bad as I feared.

Have they offered you nipple reconstruction or have you considered nipple tattoeing ? (sp)

The thing that gets me through it, is hoping that they cut the bitch right out; and I think that's the only way to "sell" it to yourself.

Argh that sounded wrong. What I mean is, any feelings are valid. There is no wrong way to feel when something like this happens. Not that you should feel thankful.

When I was first diagnosed I was quite cheerful and people kept telling me I was in denial or deluded which I found quite annoying.

I was feeling happy that it would be sorted early stages yesterday I felt good after seeing the dr and knowing what was happening, then this morning I received an email from the dr saying he would do the procedure on Thursday and I suppose it became real the dr is really nice very experienced apparently he's into the cosmetic side of things she's in his 40s like me I'm happy with him they will do a nipple tattoo I asked about an actual nipple re construction he said he knows a surgeon friend in another hospital who uses a piece of your labia, I said "no it's ok I'll go with the tattoo we had a laugh at that. I really want the cancer out I told him I want it out asap so he speeded it up for me.I think I'm just having a bad day now.thank you for letting me moan to people who understand.

Bob, it's not vain to be concerned about how you're going to look after surgery, you didn't ask for this to happen. It's one of the many natural concerns that comes with cancer surgery, or any surgery actually. I had a WLE two years ago but if didn't lose my nipple. As far as breast shape goes it hasn't really been affected although there is a scar and an indentation where the lump was. I'm sure you'll get to discuss nipple reconstruction at some point, to decide if it's for you.

Tutti have a lovely break, hope the good weather holds.

Rant time. I was approached four times on Monday in the supermarket by the same two men who were fundraising for Yorkshire Cancer Research,despite the fact that I told them the first time that I didn't want to talk to them because I already have cancer ( and I want to be able to visit the supermarket without having to think about it). They weren't just looking for donations, they wanted to explain about their charity. By the fourth time I was quite upset, I also can't have been the only cancer patient in there that day. This morning Macmillan were fundraising in town, not just holding a bucket but approaching people. Last week at the cinema there was a new advert raising awareness of BC. Aibu to want to go about my daily life, between numerous hospital appts, without having this bloody thing shoved down my throat everywhere? Sorry.

X posted Bob, I think it's great that you're going to get it sorted tomorrow. Really, the operation is not bad to recover from. Ask any questions you like.

MrsHodge. I know exactly what you mean. It's constantly shoved down your throat.

Bob. I've had the WLE three times now. I have coward stamped through me like a stick of rock. The operation itself and the recovery are actually not that bad. The ANC was/is the hard part for me.
My scar (don't know about this one) have been really neat, and almost faded in between the 1st and 2nd.

I agree tutti that surgery to the armpit is much more difficult and painful than surgery to the breast. But it sounds like Bob is going to avoid that. However, if anyone is facing it don't panic, it's all doable.

Yes you're right MrsHodge. All doeable, just that the ANC takes a bit longer to heal.

Good luck for tomorrow Bob. It is very difficult to lose your nipple. Apart from being a cosmetic part of the breast, it is also an important part of most people's sex life, and that loss should not be minimised. I had a mastectomy and my first question was can I keep my nipple (sadly not).

I also had a sentinel node biopsy as part of my surgery. The armpit surgery is a little bit more uncomfortable than breast surgery. If you need a sentinel node biopsy don't panic, it is ok and hospitals give good pain relief.