Lacies, elephants, potato-based snacks... Whatever we are, this is our 57th CANCER SUPPORT THREAD

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Welcome everyone to another cancer support thread. This thread is open to anyone with any sort of cancer. And we have plenty of hands to hold if you're undergoing tests for cancer. We are always pleased to wave people off with an all clear, and there's plenty of room here if the news isn't what you hope for.

So don't be shy! We are a friendly bunch and there's probably someone who has been through something similar. Nothing is off limits here. Scream, shout, swear, stamp your feet...

I'm sorry that anyone needs this thread, but very glad that it's here. Cancer is shit. But it's a little bit less shit when you have people to share it with.

Our previous thread is here

Oh chewing what news.

Another here thinking of you and your family .Remind yourself that your son will want you to be honest with him ,that it's something you can do for him .

God ,how trite that sounds .You need space to process all this .

Wish I could give you a hug .Virtual will have to do >>>>

A big hug from me as well chewing.

And lots of hugs from me too, chewing

All hugs are greatly appreciated
I'm having my first lot of radiotherapy to my back tomorrow. Does anyone have any tips? I recall someone mentioning coconut oil or similar.

Hello lacies. Back from seeing my doctor. H says the PET scan indicated two areas of uptake( lesions) but it is not necessary cancer. He is worried about the uptake in the left axilla (it all started in my left breast and I had a lot of onvolvemnet in the nodes). He now wants a biposy of that lesion for conclusive results. The other site in the pelvis he is not all that concerned about, but still recommends pelvis MRI just to be certain. I am not hopeful,but will try to remain positive. I feel like I am in a daze. I have no idea how I made it home. Nothing will happen till the new year of course, so it is not likely that I will calm down or sleep well till I know either way.
I mean yes he did not say it was the cancer backand all thetumour markers were fine etc etc and he said it couldbe anything, but you can not just pretend you never heard the other bit where he says he is concerned cause of the extensive past nodular involvement.
He also wants me to discontinue the Tamoxifen and go on to Arimidex.
Never a dull day in cancer land.
chewing it was me who mentioned the coconut oil for radiation. It was also recommended to me by the rads people and it was absolutely wonderful. Way better than the creams they prescribed. I only wish I had used the coconut oil instead from the start.
Best of luck.

Oh fuckity ,fuckity .fuck! And fuck.

If it is the cancer back ,best to know and to treat . As we keep saying ,treatment gets better and more effective every day .

Bloody cold comfort ,I bet .

And the being in limbo ,and more tests .Fuck again .

Sleeping tablets from GP are a requirement .Phone now .

Hugs and love .

to everyone. Fucking cunty bollocks to cancer.

It is precisely that ginger..the fact i have to have more tests, more hospital visits..more anxious waits..that is the worst of all because they still can't tell me what the bloody hell those lesions are..from" it can be anything to be honest: from just an unharmful reaction to the radiation or treatment to cancer"!!! ..and who know what the result will be after all that..it is so draining.

Hi chewing I am doing okay thank you, thank you for asking.

With regards to telling your DS I would agree that honesty is the best policy - when you feel emotionally ready to have that conversation. When my mum found out her cancer was terminal she hid this from me for quite a while to try to protect my feelings. Whilst I completely understand why she did this, I wished she had told me the truth to give me more time to process the information and so I could have supported her better. However, you will do the right thing for your son given your own circumstances, and I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

Have you heard of a lady called Sophie Sabbage? She wrote a book last year called 'The Cancer Whisperer' after being given a diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer with only months to live. She has outlived this prognosis by several months and writes so eloquently about the matter it may bring you some comfort. She also has a blog that's worth checking out...

I was admitted to hospital during week 3 of my 3rd EC chemo due to a chest infection a couple of weeks ago. Was discharged after a week and had chemo delayed by a week, but then when I went to see specialist nurse/oncologist they decided I won't have to have number 4 (which would have been the final one) after all!

I have to admit to being a bit (lot) worried about missing the last one but I guess have to trust what they say - the benefits of chemo were only ever tiny percentages because my tumour was small and hormone positive/HER2 negative. Can't stop feeling a bit panicky though, I hope this feeling subsides with time.

I'll start a 10 year course of tamoxifen after christmas, along with 2 years of Zoladex and Zoladronic acid.

Royal what a worry to take into Christmas. Praying for good results for you. I can completely sympathise with the scanxiety, I went into a cold sweat just having a Dexa scan!

Love to all lacies. I have been reading lots and am very sad to hear that so many of you are having such a hard time.

Chewing I am so sorry to hear that your appointment with the oncologist in London was not positive. All the best for your ongoing treatment. I can only imagine how numbing being told that the cancer is spreading must be. Lets hope the new treatment manages to slow progression.

Royal I'm so sorry to hear that you have ongoing uncertainty with more scans and appointments. This is such a difficult time of year to have tests and investigations. Everyone is being festive, but all you feel is fear of the unknown, and Christmas and new year means that hospitals are only dealing with emergencies.

I'm thinking of you all.

Royal, I'm sorry you didn't get the answers you were hoping for today. I really feel for you, it is always horrible when you face uncertainty, but more so at this time of year. I'm praying it all turns out to be nothing significant in the end.

Also thinking of everyone else who is having a tough time right now.

Thank you Jo, mysilly and Frestaand thank you lacies for understanding. I hope it does turn out to be nothing, but even if that does prove to be the case, it is no doubt I will have been drained dry till then.
DH does not know what to say or do, so he is useless! Two other close friends I have turned to bless them try to comfort me and go on about the need to be optimistic blah blah blah. support really never is the same unless it comes from someone who TRULY gets it.

Had the clinic letter copy this morning. Apparently there is a 2.9cm suspicious lesion and some abnormal lymph activity. 2.9cm seems huge - I have tiny breasts!

Best thoughts to you royal - I agree not knowing is so so draining.

Hi
royal such a strain for you over Christmas. I second getting some sleeping tablets.
Argy when do you get the results of the biopsy? Hang in there.
chewing my mum used coconut oil with great success, just make sure it's virgin stuff, not a moisturising cream with it in. I can't imagine how tough it will be telling your DS, I agree that honesty is best though.

I had my appointment this morning, thankfully CT and bone scans were clear. However I had another ultrasound and biopsy of the lymph nodes as there are very concerned it is in them. Previous biopsy was clear, but there was a clear lesion on the scan.
They couldn't get a tissue sample as it was too close to my lung, so did a needle biopsy so told I might have to go back if the results are inconclusive.
As I mentioned my mum has a history of cancer, ovarian and breast and so I have been sent for genetic testing. I had previously seen a Gynae as I was concerned about ovarian. They are considering an oophrectomy sp? So 2017 seems to be a lot of hospital visits!

Chewing I am so sorry about your shitty news. I fucking hate this is happening to you. I've been feeling particularly sweary the past few days and wished my heartfelt expletives really could make it all better.

I've been in close proximity to the loo since Sunday - hence the swearing - but that's thankfully easing off now.
I saw my oncologist today too. My boob is still looking redder than he'd like but the lumpy area and oedema swelling has reduced. But he's not entirely happy with where it's at so hoping this 2nd stage regime will really get the fucker. In my mind I will be getting a mascetomy to left boob - but he was talking from the POV that if some could be saved that would be good. It's not exactly a deal breaker anymore - so long as it's all gone - that's all that matters.

My chemo nurses had told me in the beginning to avoid blue cheese/raw/smoked fish/Parma ham/etc etc - but Doctor gave a green light to all those things today!! In moderation but it's made Christmas feel a bit more enjoyable!
My friend took me to the hospital so it was nice to see someone new and have a chat and a visit to the supermarket. Thank you everyone who posted when I was feeling low xxxxxx

Love to all

chewing I too am very sorry to hear your latest news and don't know what to say other than I am thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug.

royal hugs for you too; the never-ending series of tests and waiting, waiting, waiting is so difficult and emotionally draining.

I must admit that I have found myself constantly yelling "fuck off" at the TV at the constant stream of oh so bloody happy Christmas adverts. I'm sure my DH thinks I have developed Tourettes.

*rocket" hope you enjoy all the forbidden foods!

royal, oh dear I'm so sorry to hear you have this uncertainty, particularly at this time of year. As people have said previously there is all sorts of weird stuff going on in our bodies that is nothing to do with cancer and we would never know about it in different circumstances. But I know that's of little comfort and you have a few terribly anxious weeks ahead. I truly understand that however well meaning friends are they just don't understand the fear. But we do so I'm sending you a virtual hug.

for everyone
Royal sorry to hear that you don't have a definitive result yet. The waiting is awful - especially at this time of year.
Jo I will look up that book. Thank you.
Cookie thanks for making me . I am rather sarcastically singing Christmas songs such as 'Simply having a wonderful Christmas time'
All this issue with lesions is confusing. I have had no biopsies but was told they were highly suspicious so they didn't need to biopsy. When there was just the one lesion I was hoping there was a mistake and it was arthritis or something but obviously thats not the case now. I do hope that you are not kept waiting too long royal

Royal I'm really sorry you didn't get better news, or even any clear answers, and the same goes for others who are waiting for more test and scans and results. I agree about other people not understanding what this is like. One of my best friends has really really p'd me off with talk about how everything will be fine and better in the future, and life will start fully again, I know she means well and is trying to be positive, but I almost want to scream.

Royal I'm really sorry you didn't get better news, or even any clear answers, and the same goes for others who are waiting for more test and scans and results. I agree about other people not understanding what this is like. One of my best friends has really really p'd me off with talk about how everything will be fine and better in the future, and life will start fully again, I know she means well and is trying to be positive, but I almost want to scream.

Good morning and thank you cookh, mrs, chewing and flippy
I will just have to go about as usual untill the time comes for thefurther tests and the resukts. No use sitting around feeling sorry for myself( says she who had a very good sob last night in bed..woke up looking horrendous!)
Going out with the DS and DH? I will not ruin it for them. Busy bus busy is the only way!
chewing seems the only truly accurate way of knowing 100% that a lesion is cancer is by examining the actual tissue, but scans can probably give a clear indication.
cookie i think it would do us good to shout and curse and throw tantrums!
Waving to everybody else and hope you all manage some high quality Xmas time with those you love.

Sorry I've been uncharacteristically busy the past few days.

Firstly a huge for royal, if you're a wine drinker. I remember going to my results appointment expecting another year of "no abnormality detected" and it was as though the floor had been pulled out from under me. Though I was told my lesions were almost certainly cancer. As always, it's the not knowing that really is a bastard. The first night after that appointment I was in the bathroom and all these thoughts started whirling around and my heart started racing and I could hear my blood pounding in my ears. I really thought I would explode. I went to see my GP and he gave me a small dose of propranolol, which helped with all the physical anxiety symptoms. Then I could deal with the thoughts more calmly. I highly recommend it if you need help with anxiety. Staying busy is definitely a good approach. I hope you get some good news soon

Flippy sorry about your annoying friend. I don't know why cancer specifically is targeted for the relentless positive thinking bollocks I'm sure people mean well, but it's frustrating when you feel you can't open up to friends properly

chewing how did your radiotherapy go? if coconut oil doesn't work for you, a while back everyone on here (now all moved on!) swore by Moogoo cream. I have a copy of Sophie Sabbage's book as I reviewed it for Macmillan. I'd be happy to post it to you if you'd like, though I understand if you'd rather not give your address to a randomer on the Internet! (I'm not a weirdo I promise. I'm Facebook friends with Mysillydog and I'm now pen pals with gingeroots)

Personally I hated the book. I think she should have stuck to writing about the emotional side of cancer, which she handled relatively well. Other parts of the book made me furious. I actually lent it to a friend filled with little sticky notes on all the bits I disagreed with. I find her smug and annoying - like she thinks she's somehow going to beat cancer because of her personality and her desire to be there for her daughter. As we all know far too well, cancer is not a personality contest. People don't "beat" cancer because they're tougher or stronger or want to live more than others. It's all down to luck and medical advances. Little of her regime has any scientific basis and the doctors she mentions are rather dodgy. So please don't do any of the therapies without discussing with a proper doctor. And definitely don't do enemas. Cancer is grim enough without shoving stuff up your bum

mrsrhod how are you? Are both DDs home for Christmas?

rocket fingers crossed for it blasting the fucker. Enjoy all your Christmassy foods my chemo nurse told me the same, and then the onc told me that advice is complete bollocks! Only necessary if you're neutropaenic. Sorry to hear you've had digestive issues. Hopefully they can prescribe something to help with that next time.

Halfbaked great news about your scans don't panic if it's in the lymph nodes. It just means they're doing their job and catching any escaped cells. Lots (most?) on here had it in their lymph nodes. Though of course it does mean more treatment, which isn't fun.

Argy sorry the letter took you by surprise. That does sound big. I wonder how it compares to other people's lumps. Lymph activity isn't the end of the world (see above) but worrying for you all the same

Jo sorry you've been unwell, but good they've decided you don't need the last chemo. Hopefully you'll be able to enjoy Christmas without any side effects etc

Newstart2017 it's lovely when lurkers start posting, but I'm sorry it was bad news that drew you out

I'm waving to everyone. I hope you all have as wonderful a Christmas as possible. Perhaps one silver lining of this nasty cancer business is that it reminds us of what truly matters. I know it's different for each of us, but I'd imagine that most of us would rank time with our loved ones somewhere near the top of our lists. So I hope that you all have plenty of time with your loved ones, whoever they may be

I'd also like to toast Lily and Sleeping and all the others from this thread who have gone before us, and all their families celebrating Christmas without them

Evening Leslie - I wondered where you were
I'll hold fire on reading that book for a bit - not sure my head is in the right place for bravery and enemas!
Radiotherapy went ok although where they put the tattoo was a bit
I also had a mask made of my face which I will wear to prevent movement when I have rads to my neck in the New Year. That was a very interesting procedure but I struggled not to laugh and crack it.
I am going to visit family for a few days and relax with . I wish all Lacies a Happy Christmas with as few side effects as possible. I will suffer after the sprouts and parsnip treatment but hope to recover quickly

Best thoughts, hugs, good wishes and the best Christmas possible to all the lacies here. xxx

Waving to all and sending love, with hopes for a peaceful Christmas break. Particularly for those in the midst of treatments and bracing news.