Lacies, elephants, potato-based snacks... Whatever we are, this is our 57th CANCER SUPPORT THREAD

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Welcome everyone to another cancer support thread. This thread is open to anyone with any sort of cancer. And we have plenty of hands to hold if you're undergoing tests for cancer. We are always pleased to wave people off with an all clear, and there's plenty of room here if the news isn't what you hope for.

So don't be shy! We are a friendly bunch and there's probably someone who has been through something similar. Nothing is off limits here. Scream, shout, swear, stamp your feet...

I'm sorry that anyone needs this thread, but very glad that it's here. Cancer is shit. But it's a little bit less shit when you have people to share it with.

Our previous thread is here

Thoughts with you indyandlara. Having just been through the wait I know exactly how you feel.

No one here will tell you to get a grip :) most of the other posters have been through the same process and know how frightening it is

Good morning all. Lots to follow up on, but only managed a quick read.
Leslie glad you are back home but sorry you were feeling very tired.
indy hello and as Leslie wisely said, no need at all and definetly no use in curbing your fear and trying to be strong and brave. One's health is one's most treasured asset, so it is only too natural to worry and fear for it. I hope you are reassured.
My thoughts are with those undergoing chemo or awaiting surgery. I hope each day ticked off is long gone and over for you.
Waves and good wishes.

Hi everyone

I've just joined this thread for a bit of hand-holding and advice really. I found a lump in my breast on Sunday and went to see the doctor on Wednesday where she confirmed I would need referring. She said that in her experience the feel of the lump and the indentation in that area meant it was highly likely that it was breast cancer rather than a cyst.

I am all over the place at the moment - which I know is to be expected from having read through this thread - but everything just feels out of control and I am trying to keep it all together but failing miserably and imagining the worst.

This comes on top of my Mum recently having an op to remove two large tumours from her intestines but also has secondary liver cancer which is not curable so we are having to deal with all of that too.

Gah, please help calm me down.

In the meantime, I am going to read through this thread which will hopefully help.

Sorry for the rambling post.

Hello Cookiepuss and Indyandlara,

The waiting is horrible. It is all horrible but that early stage where you can do nothing but worry and wait for the appointments to roll around - it's torturous. Breast clinics seem to be very well set up and reasonably efficiently run which means the wait should be days rather than months each time. I have been where you are and unfortunately got the news we all dread, but at least once you know you can build a plan of action. I'm recovering from a mastectomy last week and doing just fine considering. I do hope your news is better than mine was - but if not there are lovely people on this thread who can help you see your way through.

Do take someone with you to your appointments. Do make notes/ask for clarification. Drs should be fine with that and if yours isn't, change dr - my experience is that you need to be able to talk honestly with your dr. You need to be able to question and challenge - to ask "why?" and "what if?".

Very best wishes - try to keep yourselves occupied while you wait for your appointments. If there is bad news waiting then it really is so much very better that you know and can act.

Waves to others - hope those with chemo sessions are bearing up ok.

Dahliaaaa for you and your dh - I think the cottage to run away to sounds fab. Maybe part time running away could work as pp suggested. Life is so tough sometimes.

Apologies to all those whose stories I read and then can't remember which was whose and get in a muddle scrolling back and forth on my phone. What stories everyone on here has to tell. I feel like I need a character synopsis to help me keep track but I hope I don't offend anyone in the meantime in case I have

Hello everyone. It's the day after chemo #2.
Feeling ok so far - but looking back at my diary this is similar so not getting hopes up too high for a smooth ride yet!
I think the sedative helped yesterday - except they had trouble with my port so had to drink copious water and walk around waving arms in the air for twenty minutes which I think overrode it a bit. It all seemed to go quicker though and the nurses were great. The cold cap still made me cry but I adjusted ok.
Indy and Cookie I was in your situation back in August. Clearly I got the shitty end of the diagnosis but I'm really hoping you both have a better outcome. This board is great, so even if the news isn't - there is support.
You don't need to get a grip - a punch bag is more suitable and a pre paid sweary box.

Thinking of everyone x

Hi rocket, I hope your diary is a poor predictor and that SE's this round might be less for you. I think I'd cry with cold cap - you sound like you're doing brilliantly.

cookie I'm really sorry that you are in this position. I hope they find that it is a benign cyst after all. My DH has just been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer and the 'waiting' stage was so difficult. It's very difficult but we got through it with little treats and as much rest as possible.

Greetings, new ones to the fine thread. Many wise voices here, and many who know the shock and fretting of the waiting bit.

For those who have not discovered earlier writings on this on this thread/elsewhere, some possible reassurance for breast cancer waiting.
9 out of 10 lumps in boobs are something else. Only 1 in 10 is cancer.

Firstly, it is impossible to die from a lump in the boob. Literally cannot kill you in there. So if that is where it is, you're fine. Treatment for that is not fun, but it's doable.

If the cancer has had a long long time to grow and wander about, it may have got into the lymph nodes under the arm. They are a 'safety net' of a sort for the body. So, if they have caught it, that's a pretty good thing. It means more surgery to get it out of there too, of course.

If the cancer has spread to elsewhere, you're pretty certain to know about it. Not everyone does, hence the tests. But if it has reached other bits of the body, people tend to be jolly unwell before treatment. If you are feeling fine, that's a good sign that you are fine.

Even if it has spread to elsewhere, these days it's remarkably treatable. We really are seeing some results showing 80% success rates from treating cancer that has turned up in one place in the liver, for example. If it's first ended up in the lungs after the boob, one recent study showed most people are still alive and kicking ten years later...and counting. That was a surprise to the teams.

So, it's not the killer it used to be. Treatments can settle it down to be a long term nuisance for people, if it has spread. No guarantees at all. We all know people who have not been fortunate with their own cancer, and we hold them in our thoughts. But for the vast majority, now, there is every good chance of seeing old age.
None of it takes away from the eek of waiting, or the exhaustion of treatment if it's needed though. And all of us live with that tiny bit of uncertainty. It becomes a 'new normal', after a while, though, for most of us.
Hoping that has helped a little.
As I say, no guarantees. But we really are seeing some very good news from the multiple new treatments and potions.

As always Amber says it best.

Ladies, this is an often overused phrase but you really are inspirational. Thank you for setting outside of your own lives, worries and struggles to take the time to reassure me. I appreciate it more that you know.

I'm still very very scared. In my immediate family no one has survived cancer. Not Breast cancer but I'm finding it hard to believe that if it is cancer, I can buck the trend. Thank you Amber for the info as that's helpful. I don't do well with statistics as when our son died the chances of what happened happening were minuscule but we were the one in thousands. I think when you have been the one it is hard to think you won't always be. However Amber, your post reminded me that even if Thursday brings the worst news, it doesn't mean the end.

I hope everyone has something nice to do and enjoy this weekend.

Hi everyone,
Just checking in as not been commenting much recently. Had a bad couple of weeks feeling pretty down about everything so kind of kept off anything related to cancer, trying to be a bit more positive. So I've had my 4th treatment on Monday, the first Tax one and not suffering as badly as my 3rd Fec. I'm feeling tired and quite achy but there's very little nausea and no chemo brain so will take this over the way I felt last time any day. Only issue is my temperature is gradually rising although hasn't got to 37.5C yet so getting a bit neurotic checking it which I shouldn't. Dont feel like I'm ill with anything so not sure why the rise but hopefully its my body fighting off some bugs my DC have kindly shared with me and will drop soon. Not sure if I'm more concerned about having to go to hospital for them to sort it or for the logistics of getting there and having to organise how to get there and who can watch Dc if DH has to take me. Think I'll just have to ignore it all until it happens (if it does).
I've got an appointment with my surgeon on Friday to discuss next plans which is a lumpectomy. I'm thinking about asking if a mastecomy will improve any chance of things not returning and if it will, is it an option in my case. Has anyone had any experience of this?
I hope everyone is having a nice weekend and if you've made it to see some fireworks, are not too cold!

Quickly popping in and hoping everyone is doing ok

Hi toomanybottoms

I had a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction on 25th August. However I had to push for this and undergo a psychological assessment. This was my choice due to a strong family history of BC and I am confident I made the best decision for me, but there is very good evidence to suggest lumpectomy + radio/chemo is just as effective as mx and a whole lot less invasive.

I spent the last two days at a Younger Women Together event. I was inspired to sign up after Fresta posted about it a few months ago. It was great to meet so many women in our situation, we laughed and cried together. The talks were very informative and we had access to a BCN to discuss anything that was troubling us. I would recommend the program to anyone eligible. I think it is best suited to people who have just finished active treatment although you can attend if you are on chemo. Personally I wouldn't have had the stamina but some people did and seemed to manage fine.

Mysillydog that sounds great. I'm glad it was helpful

Checking in rather sleepily. Had to give up on Planet a Earth as I kept nodding off, but what we did watch was fantastic. Anyone else watching it? It would make perfect post-chemo viewing as there's lots of stunning scenery and soothing narration, and no plot to follow you just need to be ready to fast forward any nasty bits if you're as over sensitive as me

I've had two A&E visits after my great escape on Tuesday night, but all fine :) I am hoping to finally have chemo this week if I can shake off this bothersome cold!

Sorry about your family indy. It must be harder with their experiences hanging over you. You are an individual. Your case is unique. Even two people with very similar cancers can have completely different outcomes. Let alone two people with entirely different types of cancer.

bottoms I hope your temp has stayed down

rocket I hope you proved your diary wrong and had a reasonable weekend :)

Cookie sorry you've had to join us, and about your mum's diagnosis too I hope that your GP is wrong! But we are here if not. Don't worry about holding it together. Just get through each day as best you can!

Morning everyone

Apologies for posting and disappearing - visited my parents at the weekend and needed to be as upbeat as possible as my Mum starts her chemo in a couple of weeks, so I was trying to put my situation to the back of my mind.

As Indy said, you are inspirational - having read through this thread, the humour and positivity comes through which helps so much.

I'm going to ask a question which is probably really stupid but since visiting my GP last week I have been experiencing uncomfortable stabbing pains in the breast with the lump. I am definitely not imagining it and they only last seconds. I am not sure if all the poking and prodding is the cause - is this normal/has anyone else experienced it?

Hello cookiespuss.
I found a large lump in my left tit back in May and was referred to the breast clinic. I had sharp stabbing pains occassionally in both breasts. I was so scared and stressed out about it. Turns out I have lots of cysts both sides. They feel uncomfortable at times, depending on the time of the month. I still have them now.

Hi, another delurker (and namechanger) waiting for results here. Hello everyone. Don’t want to sound patronising, but I have to thank everyone on this thread for their posts, which have been helpful, informative and positive. Sending good thoughts to you all.

I have three suspicious areas in one breast – swollen lymph node, 7mm lump and calcifications. I had two biopsies last week and I’m having a third for the area of calcifications on Thursday, when I also have an appointment with a surgeon to discuss the results of the first two and future treatment. As they’re already hooking me up with a surgeon, I’m not expecting good news, although BCN did keep saying ‘treatment – if needed.’

Apparently I have puzzled the consultants, as it’s not all quite adding up as it should. If the lump is cancerous, they don’t think it’s invasive, but then it wouldn’t be expected to show in the lymph node.

I’m trying to hang on to the positives –there’s nothing that’s presenting obviously as a breast cancer from mammograms and ultrasound, and if there is something, it’s very early stages and very treatable. I also feel fine and I’m ‘only’ 44. They have rated the areas in the ultrasound/mammogram range as 3 – 4, where 1 is totally innocent and 5 is almost definitely cancer. I have to have a stereo mammogram biopsy on Thursday, has anyone else had this? They said I’d be lying down for up to an hour while they do it – from what I can see, this is face down with breast dangling through a hole on a table and then raised up while the radiographer carries out the biopsy.

Sadly I’m all too familiar with cancer as my DP died earlier this year from an aggressive kidney cancer, less than a year after he was diagnosed. Trying not to think about how this will affect 8 year old DC if it is bad news.

Oh bless you, Flippy Neck, worrying times and so I'm sorry to hear about you DP. Life can feel very unfair. As you know, even if yours turns out to be breast cancer, treatment may be horrible but outcomes can be very positive. Focus on one step at a time.

I had extensive calcification graded 2/3 and should have had stereo mammogram biopsy but it was broken. Instead I had them biopsying while I was in upright mammogram machine which was ok but uncomfortable for extended period. I got the impression that stereo would have been much better. For me it took an hour because they wanted to be sure they had the necessary tissue which can't be seen on mammogram but can through X-ray. Basically they ran off with each sample to X-ray and took a few goes before they were happy they had the tissue they were targeting. The women doing it were wonderful though - chatty and considerate and put me at my ease.

Best of luck for Thursday, fingers crossed they find that it's all fine. Do make sure you have support when you get the results - you want to replay everything they said when you get home and very useful for two to hear it, whether good news or bad.

Flippyneck just wanted to wish you all the very best for your appointment. I'm so sorry about your DP. (My DH has just been diagnosed with inoperable advanced prostate cancer.)

Thank you labradottie and dahliaaa. I'm sorry about your DH dahliaa, it's unutterably rubbish and sad.

Dahliaaa - sorry to hear about your DH. I thought prostate was up there with BC in terms of awareness and early diagnosis as the couple of guys that I know who had it got caught early. Is there any sort of treatment he can have? Obviously don't worry about replying if you'd rather not as I know everything is going to be incredibly emotional for you at the moment.

FlippyNeck - good luck for Thursday; you are definitely due some good news.

I have my first consultation this evening - have gone private under my DH health insurance as otherwise my appointment with NHS would not be for another week and I am already a gibbering, emotional wreck.

Thank you Flippy and Cookie.
PC has a very high cure rate if found early and in the more 'slow growing' category. Sadly DH is in the very small percentage that is aggressive and because he had no symptoms his has been found very late. They will try treatment to see if it can control for s while but there is no cure.