All the fives... Tamoxigang cancer support thread 55

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Welcome newbies and oldies to our 55th thread!

Our previous thread is here.

If you have any sort of cancer please feel free to join us. We are always happy to offer a hand to hold if you're waiting for test results too.

There are no stupid questions here, and there will usually be someone who can answer, or point you in the right direction.

Well another one joined the crappy results club, grrrr. The dcis with small area of invasive cancer (15 mm in all) turned out to be a 30 mm idc and only 4 mm of dcis with a positive sentinal node 2.1mm deposit so classed as a metastasis. On the plus side good clear margins! However, what has always straightforward rads and hormone treatment has had the chemo card thrown in and I am just under the % were it would be automatically recommended, seeing the oncologist Wednesday. X

Morning everyone

The morning sorry you are feeling rough, I didn't experience that after rads but I guess it's different when it's your ear rather than your boob. Hope it settles soon and that someone has some advice for you

Helly I'm sorry your results weren't as good as you hoped, my sentinel node was positive too but I was lucky in a way as they told me right from my first appointment I would need chemo, it must be a shock for you. However we will all help you through it if you do go down that route x

Not sure why I called you morning rather than modern sorry !

Morning helly, sorry your results were not quite what you were hoping for, but at least the chemo will give you added peace of mind that you are receiving the best possible treatment. It's not nice, but you will get through it all and get lots of tips from the gang to help you. I was exactly where you are now 6 months ago and it has flown by!

Themodern, I haven't any experience of rads to offer advice, but you don't think there might be an underlying infection in your ear causing the temperature do you? Maybe get it checked.

Helly, sorry to hear that. Fresta, good idea. Mum, compared with the other names I get called, that's charming... Thanks for good wishes.

Hi again.
pepper and helly that must be tough with results not as expected.
My surgery date for WLE on my right breast was brought forward so I had the op yesterday. Feeling pretty crap today, sore, tearful. I'm spending the weekend in bed.
They surgeon also took a sentinel node biopsy after the ultrasound was clear, hoping to get results at the beginning of April. I think the tumor turned out to be around 3cms so not too big at all.

Morning all
fresta hurray for finishing chemo, hope you feel able to enjoy the Hendricks soon.
Can you not drink at all during chemo or is it just you feel crap and not up to it??
elmindarina, good plan to stay home in bed, keep up the painkillers (do you have a drain? - I felt heaps better once that was out). I'm still a bit sore a couple of weeks on but it's definitely better - I managed to wear a bra yesterday .
helly, sorry to hear that, you and I are in almost exactly the same place then, I'm still a bit tearful when I anticipate chemo, because they had always said just rads and hormone, but frankly I'm more concerned about the results of the bone scan and CT scan. I guess the chemo happens anyway - I was very borderline but they said on balance given my age (and the children's ages) I should have it.
The breast care nurse also rang after their team meeting yesterday and have now recommended I have the ANC not rads to the armpit after the chemo, which at least takes a finely balanced decision away from me though I'm not keen on more surgery.
lilymaid thanks for the TM answer
whether good news that your cancer is under control and you can enjoy eating again, modern, that does sound miserable - will your drs be able to check you over, it sounds like a long time to feel that rubbish.
I was umming and aahing over returning to work next week until next results etc as I feel guilty about everyone else covering for me, and spoke to my mum on the phone "So you can't get properly dressed, are too uncomfy to drive and keep crying down the phone" she said "Exactly which bit of you is ready to go to work?" She has a point.
Waves to everyone else.

Hello all. Sorry your resukts were not as you had expected helly. Now the picture is clear, the treatment can be sorted out for you.
elmindarina hoe you feel much better soon. Take care and get lots of rest.
pepper maybe you need a bit more time to rest? Sooner or later you will have to go back of coruse, but work will be good for you if it is not too stressful.
Waving to everybody else.

Pepper, do not yo back too early. It does you no good, you will then gave yo take more time off and that is more infuriating for your colleagues than if you had stayed off longer.

Learn from she who has fallen into that trap before now.

Evening everyone, does anyone know how acurate an mri scan is for the lump sizing? I've had 7 lots of chemo which they say has shrunk it, but I'm really worried that when it gets to surgery its going to be bigger than the mri is showing. Hope I'm worrying about nothing and that the mri is a good gauge of the size!

MRI is very accurate, normally. You should be ok. And it's a good sign that it has shrunk.
Waving to all.

Elindarina glad your op is over, be kind yourself and don't skimp on the painkillers.
fresta congrats on finishing u our chemo
pepper i feel right down at the moment just such a shock itsnt it? Now panicking st no one's mentioned scans lol. Regarding ANC my mdt very much go for rads to the axilla over anc where ever possible in fact the surgeon said it is the main recommendation from their professional body due to the risk of long term issues with it. Seems to be variations everywhere!

Waving yo everyone not mentioned ( can't keep up :) )

Have you had your op, Amber? If so, hope it went well.

rover, I think MRI is very accurate. After four chemos the measurement of the enhancing area on my MRI was 1.7cm compared 3.5cm at the first MRI. I don't know what it will be finally but I've had 8 rounds of chemo now so expecting it to be small. I do worry how/if it shrinks neatly though without leaving random active cells all over the original area? Can you feel it shrinking? I can't feel mine at all now which is reassuring,

Hello everyone,

May I join the group? I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer and am completely new to all of this. The jargon is baffling :o

Everything has moved so fast. I discovered the lump on Tuesday, GP on Wednesday morning, mammo and ultrasound on Wednesday avo. Cue frowny face by doc at the not so pretty pictures, resulting in a biopsy on Thursday. I wasn't expecting results until next week so when I got the call on Friday I just knew... Thank god dh was with me at the time.

Anyway I am seeing a specialist on Monday.

I feel like such a fraud as I feel perfectly healthy. Part of me thinks it's all a big mistake and I'll be told to stop wasting their time! Did anyone else feel like that?

I have told my parents, sister and ds(8). Gosh that was fucking hard. How long did you all take to tell people? Is it best just to get it all out of the way in one go?

Apologies for the me me me rant. This is the first time to get it all down. You lot are amazing.

Hello slantybaws and so sorry you are having to go through this. First of all, it is good that your medical steps are moving along promptly. The las thing anybody likes or needs is having long waits for procedures to take place. Secondly, yes I did feel exactly like you are now. It is hard to process so much information and news especially when it involves your health which, just as you said seems Fine! I was diagnosed last June and had surgery( lumpectomy and full axillary clearance) as well as 16 rounds of chemo, and am now undergoing radiation therapy. I can't believe i have come so far! The toughest part is the initial stage when you feel like you have been tossed into a whirpool of emotions and thoughts, but, as most here will tell you, it does get better as you embark on the treatment plan. You start to feel like you have a target and work towards it day by day.
Finally, you have come to the right place. We support one another a lot here. The ladies here are all lovely and eager to help because every one of us here has been or is where you are right now. Feel free to ask abiut the jargon, seek advice, rant , whatever it is, we are all here for each other. We understand it is not east dealing with relatives or friends at this time, which is why coming on here is so much simpler and less burdensome.
I told very few persons in my life because it has made it easier for me to cope, but it may be different for others and for you. We tend to cope in different ways.
Wishing you all the best ahead.

Hi Slanty
Welcome and sorry you are here. I think many of us felt like a fraud or an imposter when we were first diagnosed. For most people there are no symptoms apart from a lump and so to be feeling completely well but told you have cancer is just so confusing. I remember feeling surely there's a mistake here, I can't have cancer, I have no family history.

You must be reeling from such a fast diagnosis. When you see the doctor on Monday everything will start to make a bit more sense. You will get a management plan, which may be tweaked as your treatment progresses. Don't be scared if you need chemo. I remember being in the breast clinic waiting room and seeing the signs for the chemotherapy pharmacy area and shuddering. But actually it's manageable because the treatment is broken up into little chunks and you just progress through ticking off each bit as you go.

Unlike Royal most people that I know are aware that I have cancer, so my friends are quite understanding if I need to cancel a meet up at the last moment, although I haven't put it on Facebook to the world. I also have told my children's school. There is no right and wrong way and we are all different. It's what you feel comfortable with. Telling my mum was the hardest. It's really tough for partners and children. I would hate to see my dh or dc going through cancer, and feel guilty sometimes for causing them worry.

Thank you so much royal and mysilly I feel like I am in good company! It's a relief to know that I'm not alone and I like to be forewarned as much as possible.

My family have been great especially dh and ds and I am so so lucky to have fantastic support.

Wishing you all a great day ahead.

Hi and welcome Slanty, and wow! things have moved very fast for you, I make no wonder you feel in a bit of a spin.

I felt similar to you, I felt well and was convinced my lump was just fibrous breast tissue. I told work first, then family and a few close friends. I have avoided discussing and posting it on facebook so more distant friends don't and family don't know, I don't want to live 'my journey' through social media. Some of the school gate mums know but not all and as I work in a school I have chosen not to share with the children there. I have found it quite hard to deal with those that offer the sympathetic looks and those that keep telling me I'll get through it as I'm strong. Cancer can kill anyone, strong or not! (but luckily breast cancer is quite treatable and the chances of a recovery are high) But I'm grateful to true friends that have offered support by keeping in touch, offering genuine practical help with childcare, and talking and chatting about normal things as they usually do. My mum has been the hardest to deal with. She is very worried and desperately wants to support me, but I find her almost daily phonecalls to ask how I feel quite wearing. I don't want to describe symptoms in detail to her every day so just say I'm fine (which I usually am) and try to talk about day to day things instead.

Once you get a treatment plan, and know what is happening you will start to feel more in control and learn to deal with it in your own way.

Slantybaws, welcome to this not so exclusive (and flipin shite) club 😊. Rant away or whatever gets you through. Although I have had my surgery I still feel like an imposter as apart from still being a bit sore I just don't feel like I have cancer and it can't be happening to me (don't know what that's all about 😕). I have only told close friends/family immediate work colleagues although the news is percolating through especially as one of ds friend shouted it out during a lesson which devastated him as he is only 10 and had only told a couple of close friends so he felt really let down, the school have been fantastic although I think I am going to punch one of the mums if I get another sympathetic look and a you will be fine comment, she's the biggest self centered gossip I know! Although i love FB I also don't feel the need to put anything on there.
fresta you made me laugh about your mum mine us the same it's driving me bats. Mum is in a 15 year remission from lymphoma and even before this the conversation always used to go "right ok mum that's enough talk about illness now" now it feels like an episode of Dr's when she rings .

Hi slanty. I felt a bit like you when diagnosed a few weeks ago because I was fine! We kept it quiet until after a friend's wedding last weekend and then emailed friends to tell them... and then my surgery date was brought forward to Friday just gone and so it's all been a bit of a whirlwind.

Feeling a bit less tired today. I got up to have breakfast with the kids but have come back to bed. It's hard not being able to do what I usually do with the DCs. I bet a lot of you felt like that.

Meant to add that is does get more manageable when you have all the info and a treatment plan.

elmindarima really feel you my kids are 10 so more self sufficient it must be hard with the little ones x

Hi Slanty and welcome. You've had some great advice already but yes it is so strange to be told you have cancer when you feel fine. I'm glad you are being seen quickly and whatever treatment you have we will help you through x