Will dna anncestry prove we are full sisters?

[Scorpion84]

I don't want to go into lots of details as it's outing but essentially my 3 siblings think I have a different dad

I'm extremely confident this isn't the case as I have dna matched with a very distant cousin but this is on my dads side of the family through confirmed with relatives on his side

I have told my siblings this but they don't seem to take this on board .

dna tests are expensive so I was thinking if I upload my sisters dna ( with her permission) will this show we are full siblings if we are ? As does dna anncesty differentiate between full and half siblings ?

Well I've put my dna on anncestry . But I haven't compared it with my siblings

I think I would just go with "regrettably I am related to you, much as I would wish otherwise" and then get on with my life. The only reason I can think of to do this would be to prove that we are not related! People who are this nasty and cruel won't give up that easily just because you prove it - they will move on to something else.

@PhilippaGeorgiou this is basically what my husband Thinks and also my close friends

The op posted that dna tests are expensive, not that she's done one

@ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself

Yes, you are right. However, if like me you come from a tiny town where both your parents and their ancestors lived, there's quite a bit of crossover - you find your parents must have shared some DNA. Or maybe your parents were cousins?

@ginnitonic I wouldn't say so as dad was born in London and my mom is from the West Midlands .

"if I upload my sisters dna ( with her permission) will this show we are full siblings if we are ? As does dna anncesty differentiate between full and half siblings ?"

Is your sister's DNA also on Ancestry?

If so, then go to DNA and then Matches. This will show all the matches you have.

It will show your sister and how much DNA you share. For full siblings you would expect to share around 2,200cM - 3,300cM.

For example, my dad and his sister both have their DNA on Ancestry and they share 2,491cM.

If the amount that you share goes below 2,200 then that does start raising some questions. Especially if the shared DNA starts getting down to around 2,000 or less.

But that is just raising questions it does not definitively mean that you aren't full siblings.

If your sister's DNA is not already on Ancestry then you will have to upload both sets of DNA to another site which allows you to do this for free.

Two examples are GEDmatch and MyHeritage

There's lots to consider here. If you do the test and prove definitively that you are a full sibling then would you expect him/them to apologise and want to repair your ongoing relationship? Is an apology likely in these circumstances? Do you want a better accepting relationship with them based on a blood tie?

If you turn out to be not a full sibling what would that revelation do to your relationship with your DM?

I'd do it for yourself if you want to, not because you have bullying unpleasant siblings.

Gosh your brother is really horrible. I wonder if he thinks you can be cut out of any potential inheritances in the future somehow or just wants to denigrate you. I can see you why you want closure. Good luck and come back & let us know the outcome please.

@Dogpawsandcatwhiskers

I don't see me having a relationship with either of my brothers again they don't add anything to my life and have never been proper uncles to my children .

my sister is kind of in the middle and I don't want to lose my relationship with her . She has sympathy for me and my brothers and she said it must of taken a lot a lot for them to come out with it . She doesn't have a great relationship with my mom but she does still speak to her . I think it hurts the most as I think she does deep down believe my brothers

there was quite a lot of trauma growing up and also dysfunction .

I would forgive my mom if she did have an affair as I know how unhappy the marriage was . They should never have married and certainly not had 4 children together.

But I feel in my gut my mom would tell me the truth . I've asked why she hasn't spoken to my brothers about this and she said I know the truth if my word isn't good enough what else can I do .

when this first came out when I was a teenager she thought my brother was winding me up . I'm seen as the 'sensitive/ dramatic ' one in the family so I don't think she took me seriously which also hurts to be honest

i don't see my brothers apologising .

Where has this come from?

If they’re older than you for instance are they aware that your mum had an affair or might they suspect it?

My dad found out a few years ago that one of his sisters isn’t his full sibling as his mum had an affair and she was the result. It’s now led to a lot of talk in the family as to whether any of them are full siblings or whether she had multiple affairs.

They’re not interesting in finding out, but these kinds of situations almost certainly have their origin somewhere.

I’d be wanting to know why your siblings think that you’re not their full sibling.

This is so cruel. Most of us will have told a sibling at some point that they must be adopted because of some thing they like and we don't, but most people grow out of that by the age of 9 or 10.

Yes the Ancestry test would confirm how many centimorgans you share with a sibling and put the end to that but there seems there is much more going on here in that it has gone on so long. It's distressing to you and it must be upsetting to your mum as well, having your paternity questioned like that.

What is your relationship with your siblings like in general?

Get the truth, OP.

If he is your dad, you still don't need to have anything to do with your brothers.

If there's a chance of a good relationship with your sister, then take it.

@CherryRipe1 well we already did inherit a small amount of money each when my died 20 years ago . I remember feeling are they thinking you shouldn't be having this money but nothing was said .

to clarify this has been brought up 3 times

one when I was 17 and again twice and this was because my sister moved in with my Brother for a short time and it was brought up again .

you don’t up load anything it’s already uploaded ? If you are all on the system then it would flag you up as siblings ( I am in 24 and me )

me and my daughter are top of the list as closest relatives

often affairs are with brothers cousins etc so you could link with your dads relative and he still not be your dad

I also recommend the podcast “the gift” hope you get what you want out it all x

@SnoozingFox my brothers are 8 and 10 years older than me and did a lot of drugs in the 90s which I think has contributed to mental health . Can't say we have ever been close.

my sister is 2 years younger than me and we are close .

I have a funny feeling he's convinced himself you don't share a dad and that somehow he's entitled to your mum's assets when she eventually passes. Did your mum inherit from your dad? Honestly, people are so horrible, I was mortified when I found out my sister was a half sibling, my little head couldn't accept it, she even resembled my dad who raised her as his own. I always referred to her as a full sister & that was that. So just to clarify, you've done a DNA test & matched with a relative on dads side but your sister DNA has yet to be tested?

@CherryRipe1 yeah I've matched with my dads side a 3rd cousin I think .

no I think my sister will provide dna but haven't done it yet

no mom didnt inherit they had been divorced for a good ten years by the time he died

I’m a genetic genealogist.

Leaving aside the unkindness annd ethical issues, you will all have answers if you and your sister have DNA tests uploaded to the same website. So, is your test with Ancestry? Or another, and if so, which?

Has your sister already had her DNA tested? If so, using which provider? If it’s Ancestry she would show up as a DNA match in your matches if she has ticked the boxes to allow her test to be compared to other people’s. So if she has done that, and isn’t a match then she’s not your sister (although I would expect her to be a half sister at the least IME unless there is an unknown adoption at play). If she is there in your DNA matches, then just tell me the amount of cM you share - and I can tell you if you’re half or full sisters, or some other relationship.

If you’re with different providers, you cannot upload another test to Ancestry - only the other way round. This means that if she’s tested with eg MyHeritage you can upload your own DNA to MyHeritage to see if she has a DNA match.

If she has tested with another provider you can both upload your DNA to GEDMatch, which will tell you whether you are half sisters , full sisters or something else.

PM me if you need more help or post on here and I will check on updates

Ps. If she hasn’t tested yet, and she wants to, and your test is on Ancestry, then ensure she tests also with Ancestry. It’s simpler all round

@DNAexpert

thank you

yes my dna is on anncestry I did it a few years ago .

my sister hasn't provided any dna but I believe she will if I asked

Ah right. Oh well that's my little theory blown away! Yes, so as I think other pps have said, once your sister takes the test the results are uploaded automatically into ancestry.com provided that's who is used for the test. You will then be matched automatically with her and can check your matches, percentages etc. We get 50% of our DNA from each parent and 50% we don't get so there can be some slightly odd ethnicity anomalies. I think the tests are around £59 + postage when on deals but can go up to £79. All the best in getting to the truth💐

Why does anyone feel they need to prove you've maybe got a different dad, what benefit is it to anyone now , mum says no, you're all adults, can you just block and ignore them, you've nothing to prove. It's not going to make any difference, they all sound horrible troublemakers.

Ok. Well, yes, ask her if she will put her money where her mouth is! But ask her to use Ancestry as it a lot simpler for you if you’ve both used it. Tests are normally £79 but sometimes go down to £59 or even £49. Your brother could also test; it will prove whether you are full or half sibling to him, albeit this probably wouldn't stop your sister from claiming that you and your brother have a different father to her!

Lots of reasons, some emotional, some financial, it’s very complex.