Does it make you uncomfortable that your ancestors had servants?

[veraaloe]

I'm not sure why, but it makes me feel a bit odd to think they had 3-4+ people who lived in their house.

Likewise an ancestor was a slave owner, now that makes me shudder.

One side of my ancestors were titled so had the servants (lots of them) and a big old house with their name. That was a long time ago and whilst the house is still standing and called the same it is sheltered housing and flats now. There is still a bit of "family money" floating around and I am very lucky in that respect.

DH comes from a line of servants, right up to his great grandmother who was a housemaid at Mapledurham.

Neither of us is any better than the other and our respective modern day families bear no resemblance to our ancestors.

One side of the family had servants and the other side were servants. It is what it is.

Judas my grandmother was in the workhouse too...

... oh, and my gran's sister married into a fervent KKK family.

Gran later had a footnote role in early (black-white church) integration movement, maybe some redemption from that.

i have so many ancestors - i know some had servants, I know some were so poor some of their children starved to death according to the death certificate.

I’m only two generations out of the workhouse. My middle class life is paper thin.

Two generations from a Dublin slum
One from back to backs, no indoor plumbing and a tin bath in front of the fire.

Waffer thin middle class veneer at best...

It’s fascinating looking at family history. We cannot be held accountable for the sins of our fathers though. I doubt any of us has a lineage of saints.

Mine were definitely servants or land workers on both sides, I only made it to middle class because my father (son of a miner) was smart enough to go to the local grammer school and go on to get a law degree.

Mine were the servants too In fact I got quite irritated in a stately home a few years back when reading the usual crap bemoaning the fact that families can no longer afford to keep and run these big houses and saying how sad this is. I disagree, because my ancestors lived in abject poverty in order to enable those families to do that.

No. They're dead. I don't know them.

I was an expat child - we had servants. My first memory of feeling mortified was when I lied about one of them not telling me my mother wanted me inside, and being caught out in the lie by my furious mother - but my shame was all about being shit to the servant (in my defence, I was 5). But I don't think I feel shame - it was just what that lifestyle was like. I know my parents always treated the servants very kindly and fairly - they were employees as much as anything.

No, not at all. The servants were given accommodation and paid for their work.

I think we’d all be fairly disgruntled by those terms of employment though brizzledrizzle

No I don’t see the point of apologising for ancestors or whatever they got up to. I am only accountable for how I live my life.

Probably now but when the alternative was the workhouse it was different.

I don't bother about the ones with servants, the one I think was a nasty piece of work was a wealthy Welsh man who left his brother and his children in the workhouse where several of them died.

I grew up with servants, and they were just a part of life, we treated them respectfully. Nothing to feel awkward about.

Why would it?
Servants work a job and are paid. It’s not slavery.
My grandmother was a cook and house keeper.
I have a cleaner. How is it different?

Mine were servants for generations at a well known stately home, many of them are buried in the village churchyard.
I'm convinced there was some dodgy goings on because I definitely have the look of a now deceased Duchess

Mine were the servants, too.

No idea, but people who had servants were providing work and often food and accommodation for people who otherwise might have been unemployed.

The are loads of servants in the U.K. today, all those multi million houses and flats in London don’t clean themselves you know. Not to mention gardeners, dog walkers, nannies, security guards .....

And then we have millions probably of slaves in many countries - even the U.K. ...

On my dad's side, my ancestors would have been slaves.

Dh's family in Europe still have live in staff, it's not unusual where they live and there are lots of rules and regulations to protect them. Still makes me feel a little uneasy.

In years to come our present lives will be questionable too:
For the masses of throw away clothes and other goods we buy cheaply, made by near slaves abroad.

For the fact that many of our husbands, brothers and sons are watching porn made with a sort of servant/slave, and and some are going to trafficked prostitutes.

For taking drugs grown by illegal workers living in awful conditions here, or involving murder and violence abroad.

For selling arms to people who kill innocent people with them.

So, though this is not what you asked, I think there is a lot to be guilty about even now. In answer to your question, I would feel guilty for my family ever having owned a slave, I am not sure about feeling guilt for hiring a servant, depending on how they were treated.

An ancestor of mine had a man-servant who, when translated into english from another language, was 'come here'

We have just had a week in Kenya staying with a Kenyan family. They would probably be considered wealthy by fellow Kenyans but not wealthy enough to fly abroad for holidays and the house had no fans or air-con so large but basic. They had a 'maid' who had a room in the house and was treated like a family member but helped the wife with the cooking/laundry/housework etc. There was also a little hut within the grounds that seemed to have several men living in. They looked after the animals/did the gardening/let the cars in the gates etc. All these people were paid a low wage but had food and accomodation provided. I was not quite brave enough to ask what sort of money they got paid but they all seemed very cheerful and to genuinely like the family they worked for. I guess that used to be more the norm in the UK

Mine were the servants, DP's ancestors were enslaved, so nothing to worry about here.
Seriously though, we are not responsible for the actions of our ancestors - how can we be? So many of our cities in Britain profited from the slave trade - including the one I live in - we can't change the past, just attempt to learn from it

My ancestors all worked the land, or were servants in other farms/crofts. No big deal, although I did find a murderer in my distant past. One of her former employers testified on her behalf at her trial (extensively covered in many newspapers) that 'she was the best servant I ever had'. She had several illegitimate children - I wonder how many of them were his!

I don't feel any shame because I didn't know these people, but I do find it intensely interesting.