Sorry this is going to be a long post. We started fostering my nephew 2.5 years ago and then got my niece a few months later ( she moved in with her dad after being removed from her mothers care but he basically abandoned her to go on a long binge and has had little contact since). We’re really struggling with my niece to the point we’re I don’t know if we can do it anymore. She fights me on every single thing and I don’t ask much I mean silly things like getting dressed, brushing her teeth, putting her coat on, every little thing becomes a big problem. I’d expect this from a much younger child but she is 11. She has a constant attitude and acts so entitled. Constantly complaining that we don’t do enough for her, don’t take her enough places, don’t buy her enough and I assure you she probably gets a lot more than most. She constantly complains that she doesn’t like the food I make but won’t tell me what she wants instead just says “not that” with an attitude. She completely changes the atmosphere of the house if she’s in a bad mood everyone is (and she usually is). She constantly picks on her brother everytime he speaks she tells him to shut up or calls him stupid annoying etc. i don’t know what to do anymore she is making life so hard. We don’t have any family who can help so me and my partner are basically on our own. Social services have been promising regular respite for both children since august but we’re still waiting. I’ve tried talking to her so many times but she just stares at the floor and says nothing, I’ve asked her if she wants to live here and she just says well where else am I going to go again with an attitude. There is no one else in my family who can take her so if things don’t work out here she will go into stranger foster care. I feel so conflicted I love her so much she is my niece and we had a really close relationship before all this happened, she has always been a difficult child but I was able to hand her back now I’m dealing with her 24/7 and we are so drained by it. She has been to play therapy which didn’t help, then went to a social worker who deals with trauma which didn’t help, after months of weekly sessions the social worker said that it was not working as she would not engage and referred her to cahms (or however it is spelt) before Christmas but we are still waiting for that and I doubt it will help because I know she won’t engage. Any ideas on how to deal with a difficult foster child? Or should we just give up? Part of me thinks that maybe she would be better of with someone else, someone who could give her all their attention (I have my own children and her brother so constant one on one time is not possible) but at the same time Im worried about where she’ll go, how she’ll be treated, that she’ll feel abandoned again etc