Family foster carer & CS involved. Advice greatly welcomed!

[Mommato2Babies]

Hello

I'm new to mumsnet but have heard amazing things about this website and the advice people give out.

I have 2 gorgeous children who are currently under a care order by CS and are being cared for by there paternal grandmother. They were before cared for by a foster carer who was assigned the children by CS however as we wanted the children to stay with family and had the support from them that they would help they were moved into a family environment.
However since the children have moved paternal grandmother has turned sour towards us and no longer agrees to let us see the children out of our contact times set by the LA.
We have contact 3 times a week for 2 hours given to us by the LA and savour every minute of it.
We have had parenting assessments done and are due to hear weather positive or negative tomorrow, (as social worker is thick and has had to re do them because she is a nightmare, to which has prolonged our court hearings as we were meant to have our final hearing at the start of December last year)

Is there any advice as to what we can do to get maternal grandmother to let us see the children? We have good communication and seem to be the only ones making the effort.

Also any advice in what to expect from parenting assessments and how to move things forward more quickly?

And last but not least does anyone know how I can find Parenting courses near me (West Midlands) have tried Google search but nothing clearly of who I can call to book myself into a course.

Advice very very much appreciated!!!

could try www.frg.org.uk

Could your partner move out for a while? In with family or something? Is he the DCs father?

Foster carer here.
It seems you think everyone around you is in the wrong, lying neighbour, stupid social worker, bitch grandmother. Having this attitude will not help your cause at all. You need to recognise your problems, acknowledge them and sort them out. Your children are the most important people in this situation. What you want does not override what they need.
I take children to contact with parents, you do not know what happens when they return to grandmothers house, they may be really upset and react badly.
If the contact agreements are being met you cannot do anything about it.
If you have any complaints always use email as you can leave a paper trail. Be polite but give time limits for replies.
As other have said, if you have any other complaints talk to your solicitor.

NotANotMan, I was coming at it from the angle that the neighbours were making trouble for the op, lying about her, etc, because that is what she has told us.

However I also said I couldn't get my head around it and there is obviously more to it than we know.

I note she hasn't been back to talk to us.

Cassimin, very good post.

The courts have taken the decision to remove the children so on balance I'm going to err towards the neighbours being correct rather than lying

Thanks Jess
The parents I meet are nearly always perfect and cannot understand why their children have been removed!!!
Also children after contact can be very emotional.
Bed wetting, violent, tearful.
The parents don’t see this and even really young children hide their emotions at leaving time.

Your local children's centre (even if the children are past this age) will be able to point you in the direction of parenting classes, and they may run classes themselves. Your children's social worker should also be able to signpost you.

You may be eligible for advocacy support in this situation. Advocacy can help you have your voice heard, support you at a meeting, ensure that your rights are respected and that you have all the information needed to make informed decisions. (Advocates cannot make decisions on your behalf or tell you what to do). I don't know the specifics of the contract in your area, but it may be worth contacting: route2wellbeing.info/service/376/pohwer-community-advocacy-service.html

I am also wondering if the grandmother is mother of your partner - if so, what is her reasoning for preventing contact between her son and his children?? And is the father having regular contact - if so why not?? Of if your partner is not the children's father?

Thanks for all the advice.
Yes partner is father to both children, don't know his moms problem or why she's not letting us see the children, she doesn't give us a valid reason when we ask.

ANYWAY

We received our parenting assessments back today and solicitors emailed to say the assessment was positive and the children will be returned within 6 months.
They have outlined certain things we both need to do before hand for example I need to work on self confidence.

Does anyone know what happens now.. will contact change to us being able to see the children more and take them out? Will it include the children coming to stay over with us while being introduced back into our family environment? Does anyone know how things change for us now?

Thanks

You. Need. To. Talk. To. Your. Solicitor. And. The. Social. Worker.

Nobody here can answer these questions

Good News overall. If you are west midlands have a look at something called the Solihull Approach - its a method of parenting training from birth onwards developed by psychologists in Solihull but available worldwide. There are courses locally - also just use google to look for parenting courses and find some good solid ones. I know the SA people have contracts in west midlands for delivering courses on behalf of the council as well so might even be a good price/free in your circumstances. solihullapproachparenting.com/

And I am not suprised yur confidence has taken a knock you have been through some difficult times, not sure people on here helped much either