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Fostering

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Original poster

Thinking of fostering school runs ?

45 replies

Chalk2000 · 25/04/2016 11:24

Hello

We are thinking of applying to become foster parents. We have children who will be 4 and 7 by the time we have completed the application processes.

I was just wondering I currently take my own children to school by car so how do people manage getting foster children to different school ? Thanks for any advice x

OP posts:

Original poster

Chalk2000 · 27/04/2016 14:18

My back ground for the last 13 years has been in care sector with varying age groups but I am new to fostering so appreciate it will bring many new challenges ...

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Original poster

Chalk2000 · 27/04/2016 14:19

Thank you Cassington for your response

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GlitteryShoes · 27/04/2016 17:44

Actually logistics are a big part of it - a killer school run can finish you off if things are generally challenging

If they are desperate to place a child ( which they often are) they may be more flexible with transport ( provide lifts etc). But when you start, don't agree to anything you are going to struggle with long term x

Twopots · 27/04/2016 20:36

Surely it's ok to ask on here the logistics of fostering!? One of my concerns before fostering was the quality of equipment provided and what pram i would be saddled with!! (Ironically a good point as it fell apart!!) That said it didn't mean I had no idea of fostering or the issues I would come across!! Although many you won't know until you experience it first hand, the pure exhaustion, frustration, love, and complete heart break! I will now probably get it in the neck but please let people feel to ask questions without being patronised!

BigBlueBookcase · 27/04/2016 22:06

Aah, I have the same concerns Chalk...I've recently been approved as a foster carer, 5-11 year olds, and I'm a single parent to a very-nearly-3 year old and I don't have a car. Well aware of many of the issues that I might face as a foster carer, and doing what I can to prepare myself, but I've also spent a lot of time thinking about the logistics of it all too...school runs, bed times, bath times, meal times...and, very importantly, will I ever get the time to wash, dry and straighten my hair ever again...?!

When I get a call about a child, one of my first questions will be what school are they at. If it's not possible for me to get them there and my son to nursery, then I won't be able to say yes to them.

Of course the practicalities and logistics need thinking about...doesn't mean we're not thinking about other things too...

Good luck if you decide to apply Chalk.

GlitteryShoes · 27/04/2016 22:27

Big blue, my advice would be to think very carefully before accepting a placement because the school is close - that means birth family will be close which gives a whole new set of problems.

There are always ways to get round things if they need the placement - but just be aware you are unlikely to be able to prioritise your own children's school runs.

Original poster

Chalk2000 · 28/04/2016 09:20

Thank you for all your tips glittery shoes and two pots big Blue shoes ! Some Very good points ...I just feel if I can consider all the practicalities before we potentially start fostering this will provide a far more positive experience for the foster child....

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3PurpleCrocs · 28/04/2016 09:34

Good point Glitteryshoes. One of my previous FC went to a very local primary school, as did most of their relations. Birth parents I could obviously recognise but Aunty and Uncle A, B and C not so much. It was amazing how much information the parents had that didn't come from me - including our home address.

BigBlue is there no way you can take driving lessons? I'm not saying this flippantly, I know it takes time and money. Im a single carer too and there's NO WAY I could manage without my car. For a start the contact centre is 30 minutes drive away and we go there three times a week. Plus school. Plus this week ive had one hospital appointment, a dentist appointment, LAC review and professionals meeting to attend. Not to mention Brownies, swimming lesson, and gymnastics club. If I got a taxi to all of these it would cost more than my allowance. If I got a bus I wouldn't make all the meetings.

3PurpleCrocs · 28/04/2016 09:35

Forgot to add BigBlue you will get time to wash your hair, don't worry! Drying and straightening it though.... What's straightening?

Cheeseburglar · 28/04/2016 11:43

Yes good point about driving. I remember going through the training to be a foster carer and although there was a whole ton of exploration about our feelings on things there wasn't very much nuts and bolts stuff about threat to day logistics. Do keep asking questions OP, and good luck!

Cassimin · 28/04/2016 11:59

Logistics is probably one of the things that don't seem relevant but can be important.
One family I knew started fostering with 2 birth children. First placement was 2 siblings. Mum didn't drive and dad had company car.
Days out were impossible as car wasn't big enough to transport everyone and it wasn't financially viable to buy a new car.

Original poster

Chalk2000 · 28/04/2016 12:41

I've spoken to LA with regards to attending meetings and appointments aswell this morning as I imagine I would not be able to take BC to meetings etc... so would then need find help for someone to sit with my own children ?

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Original poster

Chalk2000 · 28/04/2016 12:43

If our first application is approved the lady from LA said I will be able to discuss some of these points that I've raised with the SW.

Something they look at is our support network too ...

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Original poster

Chalk2000 · 28/04/2016 12:45

We have a people carrier car so luckily we can easily fit another little one in !

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Twopots · 28/04/2016 12:57

If we have meetings that are just before or after school we can use the breakfast and after school clubs and SS will pay, although most of our meetings are during school hours so it doesn't affect my children, plus we don't book meetings in school holidays SS are very good with this although sometimes need reminding.

GlitteryShoes · 28/04/2016 13:14

When you first get a placement there are loads of meetings and appointments, but they will usually be during school hours. Some meetings might be held at your house which means the children can sit in another room and you can loosely supervise. It settles down after about a month and will be easier to slot into your routine - commonly Sw will take children out after school every few weeks. It's not like having an extra birth child, it really is a 'job' - I have had training and appointments every day this week, my day starts at 6.15 am and I properly sit down at 10pm. It's very intense, so bear that in mind.

Kitsandkids · 28/04/2016 14:48

I don't drive and one of the first things I asked when I got the call asking me to take two fc was where they went to school. I knew there was a bus to it and didn't think it would be much of a problem but I was having to leave home in the mornings at 8 and not getting back until 10. Then leaving home again at half 2 and not getting home until half 4. It was a massive chunk out of the day and I was really resenting it by the end of the year. Particularly as I wasn't impressed with the school and the boys weren't enjoying going there. The first thing I asked when we agreed to keep the boys long term was 'when can I change them to the local school?' Now that we can walk to school we are all so much happier and I have made friends with mums in the area.

I do know some foster carers who refuse to take the children to school even if they could and I think that's awful. I understand if you have other children to get to school you can't split yourself in 2 but I know some who refuse even if the fc are the only children in the home. I think that's so wrong. It is important to see the children's teachers, and meet their friends etc.

Personally, I don't think I would think about fostering with a 4 year old in your family. Some fc need so much time and attention spent on them, and totally disrupt a household through no fault of their own. It is very difficult for other very young children in a home to understand that. But, obviously it would depend on your child and the fc you got as it can work for some families with young bc.

Original poster

Chalk2000 · 28/04/2016 15:47

Lady I spoke to this morning at LA has advised me to have a chat with SW and said they do find some people decide to delay fostering until there own children are older...due to.the logistics..

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Yukduck · 28/04/2016 17:51

Several posters have said that the needs of the f/child needs to be prioritised over that of a f/carer's bc's re the school runs.

I can understand why the OP wants to talk this through before fostering.
Your own bc's are so precious and grow up so quickly. I personally would not have liked to be told to let my own children go to an after school club or go with a neighbour/friend and not say "have a good day" to them as they went into school, because I was not available.
The school runs for me and my bc's were where we talked most about our days and was a big bonding time for us when they were young. It was slightly different when I went back to full time work as they were old enough to understand and my mum did the school run.
Please don't criticise the OP for wanting clarity as these times are precious and you don't get them back.
You do need to fact find and gather information on how it all works BEFORE you take on the role of foster carer.

BigBlueBookcase · 28/04/2016 21:05

Glitteryshoes, thanks for that re proximity of school, very valid point. I'm in a city with pretty good public transport, so I was thinking more about whether I can get to the school on bus/tram, rather than it necessarily being close by.

3PurpleCrocs, I passed my driving test 25 years ago, but never had a car. I've just about got enough money put aside for a cheap little run-around now and have had a lesson a week for the last three weeks. So I'm hoping to buy one fairly soon (although have just spent some car money on the garden to make it a bit more child friendly...). I wouldn't be bothered about buying one if I wasn't fostering, but I can see how it'll make things so much easier with a foster child, so I'm still dragging my feet a bit, but I'll be buying one fairly soon. (I refuse to give up my hair straighteners! )

Yes re support network Chalk. I was worried about convincing the SW that I had enough support around me, being single and only recently moved back to the UK. My parents are just round the corner though and that's really the only reason I think I can manage the logistics of having a foster child and a young birth child at the moment. Keep us posted.

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