my 2 year old granddaughter abused in foster care

[xtina1]

hi i hope i am in the right place for advice ........in brief my 2 year old grandaughter 2 grandson 5 months was removed from my care [section 20] when her parents removed them from the park while with my husband because i didnt ring the police to report it [there is a lot of background with all this where social worker has never worked with parents or us apart from wanting children in care ...the reason being they are adobtable] they were moved three times in one week on the second foster home my grandaughter over a period of three days was bitten on cheek arm scratched and and bruised face ...this was first seen on contact visit and was told she had bit her arm herself just before we went in [blatant lie] as next one the bite marks and scratches were on her face...we rang police solicitor and reprted to everyone we could she was moved that day...but we have not been told anything else ..apart from the FC took on too much my GD has been through more harm in one week than in her two years ...we are devastated and at wits end and desperatly need advice as it seems to have been covered over i need to take action ...but also to know what is the right thing to do

Sorry to derail but what does that guy get out of running that site? He gives some very advice by the looks of things, and for free. Obviously good that it's for free given that it's dangerous nonsense but why is he doing it?

There are no adoption quotas, it's not a thing that exists. There is no circumstance under which a child would be removed because they are adoptable. Being adoptable is a positive asset for children who are removed due to insurmountable abuse or neglect but it is not a reason why children are removed. Ever, ever, ever.

The Forced Adoption brigade are shocking. OP please, please don't rely on anything you've read there.

I have personal experience of working with parents who've been brain washed by the whole forced adoption thing - who could probably have their children at home with them now if they hadn't taken the stupid, irresponsible advice given by an evil man and "run" with their kids instead of working with SS.

Children are not taken into care because they are adoptable. It does not happen. There are no adoption quotas or targets.

People who say it happens have usually had children taken into care and they are understandably finding it painful to confront the reality of why that decision was made as it involves their own behaviour.

Fastday probably an interesting question for another thread - wouldn't want to derail the OP out of advice (but would also be interested in a discussion thread).

I would really, really recommend looking up a blog called Surviving Safeguarding. Read and take her advice to heart and put it into action.

survivingsafeguarding.co.uk/

She is supported by Cathy Ashley at Family Rights Group and some other legal bloggers in the child protection arena. Please, please do read it and heed her advice.

Op for a variety of reasons and experience I have no faith or trust in social services. But if it meant potentially keeping my children I would do and keep every rule they said no matter how wrong I thought they were.

Yes, Surviving Safeguarding is awesome.

She is the reason the Child Protection Resource exists. She was on mumsnet in 2013 as she had been given advice by John Hemming to leave the country. Luckily she didn't listen and she now has her baby with her.

If anyone wants an introduction to Ian Josephs and how he operates, read this post and the comments from IJ himself.
www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/helping-parents-leave-the-jurisdiction/

thank you thank you for all your advice and comments...you will never know how much this has helped me ...its not the foster carer i am blaming the title i gave was totally wrong ...and the last thing i want to do is to blame everyone but us...or make it sound we think we have done nothing wrong ....apologies also for putting the link up...but please appreciate i am at my wits end ...we are in the depths of despair because SS arnt working with us i am not imagining this .....my Gd has never been harmed never been abused physically or emotionally was with her parents for 23 months parents ticked every box for parenting skills.....

D 35 years old...youngest of 4 with 7 year gap perfect child then at 16 had problems [bust reduction that went wrong] started to loose confidence even though was stunning... devastation when we lost our oldest son we all feel apart...

gradually over the years she started to drink got in the wrong crowd..etc etc etc has not got a criminal record but the usual that goes with being an alcoholic...eventually got double pneumonia was on a life support machine for five weeks was not expected to survive ...but did and was detoxed [we have never stopped helping her]

partner 48 been with D5 years similar background [drink] but detoxed himself when daughter was in hospital two years later had GD...thought there life complete doting parents ...but because of there past ..SS came involved...everything was fine as could be for ten months when SS WORKER THEY HAD LEFT ...things started to go down hill she started doing everything opposite to the other one constantly criticised them ..going on and on if they didn't listen to her that Gd would be took into care making all appointment as early as possible 8 30 am at her offices complaining they were not dressed at 9 30 when she called one day ...complaining cupboards were not stocked proply [they live across the road from asda].arranged for alcohol test even though there was no need and negative.the list goes on and on ...she basically set impossible tasks and doomed the to failure...there confidence was on the floor ...and they were terrified of her ..started not going to appoint ments ...then when Came pregnant ...they told no one stopped going for alcohol tests ..in case the pregnancy showed up ...it all went from bad to worse when baby was Born she wanted him taken into care as they only had a one bedroom flat ....i hope you have formed some sort of picture at my anguish ...it is help with SS she has the power but abuses it our only crime is fighting her ...how do we get out of that ........

i did contact the out of office S team ...but it was an answering machine...[it was a sunday]....she accused them of abduction and neglect ...but the police have not charged them with anything
hope this all makes sence but now rushing as going on a visit

It sounds like the typical downwards spiral of people refusing to listen to what was asked of them, and refusing to engage, and therefore getting judged on that.

As your dd and you have now experienced, you cannot ignore SS or get angry and start throwing around accusations which are understood as excuses and a sign of someone who cannot engage with the system.

The requirements may have felt unnecessary to them, or you, but that's not a reason to ignore them, as you will be assessed as failing them whether you see the reason why or not.

The really sad thing is that it sounds like the wider family carried on the same destructive pattern and did the same, refusing to engage, ignoring the rules set etc, and therefore got the same result.

It is just so sad because it's a familiar pattern that emerges time and again when you hear about SS engagements and the sad ones where the families can't seem to turn it around in time.

And it always sounds confused and fraught with misunderstandings and like the people involved don't 'get' their role in what's happening.

To be brutally frank, there is no other way. Full stop. All the arguing and accusations and conspiracy theories in the world will not help you. In fact they will have the opposite result.

If you are really committed to getting your grand daughter back you need to break this pattern of behaviour. You need legal advice to see if there is anything you can do, or if it's too late. And then you need to follow every single tiny thing you're asked to do whether you agree or not. That's the only way you'll get your gd back, of it's still possible.

I do feel for you, and I wish everyone in this situation the best future possible.

I agree with Miscellaneous.

this is the sentence that stood out from your most recent post op
started not going to appoint ments ...then when Came pregnant ...they told no one stopped going for alcohol tests ..in case the pregnancy showed up

What the professionals will say is that it is about trust. If they cannot trust parents to show up to appointments, do drugs/alcohol testing, rehab etc, etc then they will have to assume the worst and act on that. Because the consequences for a young, vulnerable child can be extremely serious and no social worker wants to be hounded by the Daily Mail if another child dies on their watch.

If you think they are over-reacting or being unfair then get a good lawyer NOW - prove your case in the way the court will like, with evidence and good points clearly made.

Once any client of mine mentions Ian Josephs or Forced Adoption, it is almost always game over for them. the LA pulls up the drawbridge, the guardian disengages and the court is unlikely to listen.

xtina, I can see this is an extremely distressing situation - of course you would reach out to somebody who seems to be on your side. Please know that "Forced Adoption" the website is not actually on your side - it's not a case of sides!

It does sound like that social worker was making things difficult. However sometimes it is just a case of playing along, making sure you have food, making sure you are dressed even though there is no need to be, just basically proving that you are BETTER than the basic expectations.

Social services cannot remove children just for being born into a one bedroomed flat. But if you don't know this, of course it seems like something they might pick at. It might even have been a misunderstanding. And it is true that there are bad social workers - there are people in every career with less than perfect motives. The part which is false is that they have the power to remove children on a whim. It could be that there have been miscommunications and then the desperate, panicked reaction was not what the social worker needed to see, it could be that she has actually made empty threats, but you can't assume that. It might be that she has set standards higher than they need to be in order to see that the couple are REALLY committed to this and really capable. Unfortunately, our past can come back to haunt us, and very sadly in many cases it is relevant. How many times have you seen a case in the news where people say "But why didn't somebody do something? All the signs were there." They might have turned their lives around, and fair play to them, but social services have to be sure of this before they can close the case.

What you need is proper, competent support, not the rantings of a very angry and ill-informed man, who doesn't even live in the UK, so how he can be familiar with current social services guidelines and practices is beyond me.

Do get in contact with one of the three websites given - Surviving Safeguarding, Child Protection Resource, or Family Rights Group. They can help you have the best possible chance to get your DGC back.

I really feel for you OP but I guarantee there will be things you are not aware of because of the bounds of confidentiality.

I have been care co-ordinator (MH) for several families involved with SS. And I've been at the receiving end of angry calls from family members shouting that the parent did nothing wrong etc. I couldn't tell that family member that there'd be a drunken Police incident in the last few days or a positive drug test or an appointment with a MH professional where the parent said they were suicidal.

Family members even if FC are not given all information because parents are entitled to confidentiality unless it leads to harm of themselves or others. But professionals exercise judgement on potential harm caused to the personal relationships they have.

So if a parent says please don't tell my Mum the kids were taken into care because I did x or y. That Mum isn't given specific reasons other than your GC has been taken into care because of suspected neglect and addiction.

Icouldbesogoodforyou talks a lot of sense. Social worker can't even say "I am not allowed to tell you everything" as that implies information is being withheld and would just anger you.

Also your daughter concealing a pregnancy and avoiding alcohol/drug tests is a huge factor for SS to get more involved. SS are not working against you because your GC are adoptable, it is because of that. Please work with them to snow them you can safeguard them and put them before your daughter. I would be worry about a child not having minor bruises/scratches coming home from crèche etc as that implies they are strapped into a pushchair all day and not allowed to play

Having a look at that forced adoption website, one of their "golden rules" is never to report sexual abuse of your children or domestic violence. Surely that should make anyone run from that site.

It would really be better for them if it went to court. They would get legal aid for a lawyer and a guardian to represent the children's best interests.

It must have gone to court. The child cannot be removed from the parents without their consent unless there is a court order.

So - either the parents haven't told the op what is really going on and they are consenting to section 20 accommodation OR there is a care order OR the LA are acting illegally.

LAs have been known to behave badly about section 20, but they don't have parental responsibility for a child under section 20 and the parents can take their children at any time BUT if there are worries about the parents this probably will trigger care proceedings.

I always think it is better to be in court as then you have a clear timetable and oversight from a judge.

Op says s20, also
SS also tricked into putting children volantery care by incompitent SS far too much to explain

I agree with you about going to court. The LA then has to rigorously evidence their case plus the parents have legal advice.

hi ..thanks again to you for all your time and advice ...I'm sorry that i overreacted with the title of this thread and by no means was i criticising the foster carers [they do a wonderful job] ...what i was told was the foster carer had took too much on and had children in her care of similar age and that was it ....by reading your messages i i see all your points and that has helped me look at things differently but i still have that horror in my mind that when she was hurt she had no one to turn too.

my oldest daughter is now going through assessment to have grand children were we can go back to being just nan and grandad does anyone know exactly what that means or if there will still be restrictions we do have a solicitor but she is on holiday but will be back on Monday when we are at court....we are asking for the children to be returned to family[oldest daughter] immediately ....we are attending a fostering course that was booked for us before all this happened and it has really opened our eyes how SW has not been working with us as she should have done ....we spoke to child guardian and was shocked to know that she had not been told of the bite marks etc etc .....so have wrote to her as there is other concerns my grand son should have had his final injection of the course six weeks ago and though SW was informed a week before it was due has still not arranged this ...i have put a letter of complaint to her team leader i really need to know if with this i am doing the right thing

look... just looking quickly over the above i hope you can understand what i am trying to say at moment is impossible to go into more detail an sorry i have not been back sooner but with the course we are on it has been every other day and with home work on top of that comp keeps freezing with windows 10

It sounds like you're definitely looking at this from a better place, I'm go glad. It's despicable that websites like that forced adoption are around, it IS a horrifically frightening experience to be involved with social services and those websites just play on those fears unnecessarily.

It might be if what Spero says about the S20 and no parental responsibility that they can't consent to the jabs, but don't worry - I was concerned about DS' infant jabs and my nurse was lovely and told me not to worry and we could take them more slowly with no ill effects, baby will still be fully protected from the previous doses, the later boosters are just to secure lifelong immunity. I don't know if they've been talking to the parents about this but presumably if you don't have PR yourselves, then it's not something they can discuss with you.

I don't know what would happen in terms of monitoring if DC are returned. I should think that in time yes if everything is considered okay then you would be considered "normal" grandparents with everything that goes along with that. But ask - they should be able to tell you time frames.