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Fostering

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Original poster

I just want a rant about how teenagers have too much money

28 replies

LaurieFairyCake · 31/03/2015 22:37

And there's nothing I can do about it. It is not preparing them for uni/college/normal life to have so much money and it's really pissing me off.

Current foster child has no outgoings and gets 37 a week to spend on sweets/crap plus 80 a month for clothes, unlimited mobile phone data, 74 saved for them in a savings account.

It's just ridiculous. No amount of chats about saving or discussions about any future expenses works.

The sweets are the thing getting to me most, there's just unlimited junk food and expensive sweets that they just won't be able to afford when they go to college.

Any discussion I have with SS they just shrug and say they have to manage their money.

OP posts:
roisin · 31/03/2015 22:46

That is nuts! My boys (16 and 17) get about £20 per month from us; anything else they earn through paper rounds etc. They have to cover all their own expenses, except clothes. (They're not interested in clothes and would wear rags if I gave them a clothing allowance!)

noisytoys · 31/03/2015 22:49

YABU. Foster children can have no family and some foster for the income rather than for the vocation. This at least ensures they get decent clothes rather than the rags they could be given if a carer chose how much to spend. And £37/week is a trip to the cinema or a wander round town with friends it isn't a huge wad of cash.

HarrietSchulenberg · 31/03/2015 22:59

"£37 a week is a trip to the cinema and a wander round town with friends"?
Not where I bloody live it isn't! My kids don't even get that a month.

BertieBotts · 31/03/2015 23:04

Ouch, that does seem high! Can you get them to buy essentials out of that like toiletries, clothes, school bits etc, or are you expected to provide those and this is on top? I agree it's going to be a big shock for them when they have to be independent and manage bills etc otherwise.

sosix · 31/03/2015 23:06

I get what you are saying. But, these kids have been through shit, yes? Let them enjoy. They are still young.

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 31/03/2015 23:17

There's plenty of family who arent able to provide a home but she sees them most days and they also give her unlimited money and sweets.

She doesn't buy her toiletries, they're also provided for her.

OP posts:
Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 31/03/2015 23:19

In a very short period of time they're going to have to budget and manage student loans and grants and its just totally unrealistic to give a kid 200 disposable income a month

Most adults don't have that.

I don't agree it's just a trip to the cinema either, I live in an expensive area and that's 5 trips a week to the cinema Grin

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 31/03/2015 23:21

Yes, I don't have £200 disposable income in a month and we are pretty comfortable now.

Maybe it's just worth talking about it? Encourage her to save up for something big? A car perhaps?

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 31/03/2015 23:22

Tried everything to get her to save, literally everything

80 a month is such a lot for clothes too, I don't know anyone who spends that

OP posts:
Carribeanisland · 01/04/2015 20:10

Agreed OP. it's particularly difficult on birth children who don't get anything near the amounts FC have as allowances. I've found the other issue is that the FC's friends soon realise they have a large amount of cash and take advantage of them.

Gymbob · 02/04/2015 10:37

I have exactly the same problem with mine.

for those of you that say, they've been through Shit let them enjoy it. well, I won't say what's really want to.

as a foster carer, I am supposed to be teaching my yp life skills. that is not possible to do when they get too much money for doing piss all. mine gets £67 from me per month. not all of it in her hand as I pay her phone and her savings account, plus she gets money from another source.

she doesn't think she gets enough. I told her to get a job, she says no, why should I, you have to give me more money, you get paid and I need more.
I find that everyone tells them that they are special. she thinks she's special, she tells me she is. I say of course you are, just like your foster sister.

she has a chip on her shoulder, and the chip is manufactured by social services.

ImperialBlether · 02/04/2015 10:41

Laurie, who decides on the amounts she has. I know you have an allowance for her; does she have a separate allowance?

pinkje · 02/04/2015 10:46

Do they want to drive? Have they seen how expensive lessons are, that's what I'd be telling them, put more money away for that.

My kids (not foster) get £12 a month though i do pay for their phones which is another £9/month on minimal contract.

Gymbob · 02/04/2015 10:48

Laurie, have I got this wrong. you pay your yp over 300 pounds per month?

thehumanjam · 02/04/2015 10:49

Who gives the child the money? I'm confused.

JacobMalloy02 · 02/04/2015 14:09

Interesting Thread and totally understand. Yes, this is too much money. If you get no joy from the SW, speak to their manager or the IRO and have agreement to give the YP half this amount and save the rest. That seems like a good compromise. Seems like the Social Worker is undermining you and siding with the young person. Not helpful when you are the one tasked with preparing for independence.

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 02/04/2015 20:38

She gets 37 EMA from college paid into her account every week
Unlimited phone data (paid for by her family)
80 clothing allowance - given to her, amount decided by SS but she has to buy clothes with it
Free lunches at college so they don't spend their EMA on it

44 pocket money which I don't give her now - instead it's saved for when she's 18. This amount is decided by SS
20 savings - again in the savings account. This amount decided by SS
10 phone - as its paid for by her family I have to add that to her savings

SS are not undermining me deliberately, the above is decided by policy/government.

It's way too much and is completely unsustainable when she goes to uni next year. The problem is she will and has got totally used to having unlimited money and will not budget when her loan comes through at all.

All money (and I've not even mentioned the 400 for birthdays/Christmas she gets) plus the driving lessons -runs through her hands like water.

OP posts:
liveloveluggage · 02/04/2015 20:51

I think this is wrong because these children are in a vulnerable position financially. In the future they won't have a lot of spending money unless they earn it. These allowances will stop when they leave the care system. As you say they really would benefit from learning to budget carefully and having some money saved up for emergencies. Also as their carer I think you should have some say over what they buy, spending large amounts on sweets and junk food is so unhealthy.

Gymbob · 02/04/2015 21:09

I count myself lucky that my LA do not have any set guidelines when it comes to pocket money and allowance. it obviously varies massively between families.

of course the kids talk when they meet up so I'm forever being told so and so gets this much.

the amount going into your yp each week is astonishing. the fact that you even have to reimburse her for the phone her family pays for is ludicrous. is that part of the policy too? I would refuse to reimburse that, without a doubt.

sorry if you mentioned it up thread as can't see, but are you LA or agency?

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 02/04/2015 21:14

LA

Yes, it's in the list of payments that have to be made every month.

The next thing is that when she gets to 18 ive to hand over all the money on her 18th birthday - which is utterly stupid as its in the middle of her main exams and 5 months away from going to uni.

OP posts:
Gymbob · 02/04/2015 21:53

and how much will that be?

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 02/04/2015 21:56

It will reach about 2-2500 by then

OP posts:
Gymbob · 02/04/2015 22:17

ridiculous. can you not get the social worker to back you up and say it isn't appropriate to give her money at 18 as she is too irresponsible at present.

it can't be an across the board ruling, it just can't be. there has to be room for negotiation when the yp can't manage money Confused

Original poster
LaurieFairyCake · 02/04/2015 22:31

SS standards for how young people manage money is incredibly low

The think that they manage money well by not having any debt or credit cards Hmm

They think that 80 a month for clothes is reasonable

The 3 I know/have had have bought the daftest things with the money - one a Dior bag for 1200, one a car that broke down in a month and was a total rip off, one a giant tv.

They genuinely think that it's their money and they need to learn to budget it by spending and losing it - just daft

OP posts:
RabbitSaysWoof · 02/04/2015 22:45

Wow I'm shocked they get so much.