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Fostering

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on fostering.

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Original poster

Fostering as a "career"

39 replies

Shewhoshallnotbenamed · 14/02/2011 18:22

Hi,

I'm after some insight, advice, realism please.

I am miserable in my current job, off work with stress (very long story). I have always said that I would love to adopt a child and over the years various people have asked if I would consider fostering (including a foster parent that I worked with). I always said that I wasn't sure I could 'let the child go' - I'd get too attached.

So, I've been reviewing what I want in life. My ideal 'job' would be a SAHM - cook/clean/play groups/school run etc (I know there is a LOT more to it than that, I have previously been a SAHM). I am a single parent, have 1 DD who is 7. No boyfriend, very stable life with an excellent family and support network.

I also have a good job - reasonably well paid. It is beyond stressful with long hours and then my 'mum' job on top of it, hence I'm off with stress.

Then I've read in my local paper this week an advert from Banardo's, advertising for Foster carers. It set all the cogs going in my brain.

With all that info, can you answer my questions please:

1 - Being a single parent, would they consider me

2 - I currently live in a 2 bed house, so would have to move, would the LA assist me (eg a house swap - I'm in LA housing)

3 - Is it a viable 'career'

I obviously would not consider this without wanting to help children who are in desperate need of care/love/support. This isn't a case of me looking to make money, but I need to be realistic and make sure that I can be financially stable.

I have lots of ideas/questions in my head - but would like your opinions before I continue, I'm imagining the replies will bring up more questions though lol!

Appreciate any advice you can offer!

(ps - I have written this quite naively of Fostering....I am stood looking up at the metaphorical door marked "Foster Carers start here" and deciding whether to walk through it!)

OP posts:

corsa100 · 27/02/2011 21:29

Mmmm... I am not sure fostering should be seen as a career. I would definately not give up a secure job to foster. Although I love fostering it is not for everyone and I know carers who have given up during their first placement.

I am a mainstream carer. I take children age 0-12 and only get paid when I have a placement. Saying that I have not been without a placement at all. As soon as one goes I get a phonecall to take another. Sometimes I would like a period without a placement to give my children my undivided attention for a while. I mentioned this to my Linkworker once and she was not happy! She told me she was very dissappointed with me and that if I could not take the placement she would look at deregistering me as I would be in breach of my contract

fostering · 28/02/2011 20:21

Crikey, in breach of what contract? Cheeky SW or what!

Might be easier to give a reason why a placement is not suitable but leave the door open to other placements rather then saying point blank no. All about playing a stupid game with social services.

Machakos · 28/02/2011 21:54

We usually take a break of at least a month after a placement (so far all have lasted at least a year) just to concentrate on ourselves as a couple. We will often do some respite during this time. Our social worker is absolutely fine with this. Sounds like we are very fortunate with our LA.

corsa100 · 01/03/2011 19:19

Sorry I have just noticed I stated my approval status as being 0-12. I have recently changed this to 3-15, in line with my own children's ages. Saying that I have never had a baby placement. Even when I was first approved to foster 0-4, as my youngest was 5, my first placement was a five year old.

AmziePie · 19/03/2011 20:48

Hi Shewhomustnotbenamed :),

I am a single mum with 2 dc, our la is okay with me fostering on my own. They certainly didnt mind placing 3 fc (all under the age of 3) with me (not including my 2 dc!) so i dont think you will have any problems in that respect.

I hope i helped,
Good luck x

daisydoofer · 19/03/2011 21:43

Fostering is very stressful and not for the faint hearted! They do take on single carers. Would they help rehouse you? Nope!

psiloveyou · 19/03/2011 22:48

maypole we are foster carers who have adopted. The road was certainly not shorter for us. We had to go through exactly the same assessment process as normal adopters. DD was 10 months old when she became available for adoption. She was 2.5 when we went to court. The only differance is that the child is already living with you during the process. There is always the chance though that your application to adopt will be turned down then you have to give up a child you will have grown to love as your own (I know of one carer that has happened to).
I wouldn't advise fostering as a quick route to adoption.
op I gave up a career to foster and it was the best thing I ever did. I have a single friend who also did this, she has a young dd and is really happy with her new career.
Our LA wouldn't help with a house move but ask yours, they are all differant.

maypole1 · 20/03/2011 14:44

Oh right, thanks forbletting me know that.

mumsiepie · 20/03/2011 16:19

I am a single carer too, with my own children 13 and 11. I have been fostering for nearly 2 years and it is the best thing I have ever done. I look on it as a mixture of career and vocation. I find with 2 fc it is more than enough money as you also get working tax credit and child tax credit for your own children. If I only have one child after a while I begin to have to seriously watch my money! Especially if it is a baby and the heating has to be on most of the time....roll on summer.

Good luck and hope you make the right decision for you and your own child. xx

Cribbage · 01/04/2011 08:03

I would agree fostering is not an easy route to adoption! I have been a foster carer for many years but am 3 years into the process of adopting one of my fc and no end in sight yet. I do now foster as a career and love it. It's risky though as there may be times I have no placements and therefore no money coming in. Not all LAs pay retainers.
Some LAs will help rehouse but I really wouldn't count on it in the current climate.

EricNorthmansMistress · 02/04/2011 20:26

In my LA being single is not an issue, and they will not necessarily insist that BC are older than FC, though it isn't ideal to have older DC placed when you have younger |BC, doesn't tend to work out long term. Fostering and adopting are very different (sorry to stat obvious) but long term fostering can be similar in some ways. I have worked with teens who have been placed since 2/3 yo, who call them mum and dad but they still get fostering allowances and support - but that's not so common.

Most LAs won't move you based on intent to foster - if you were already fostering they might, but you won't get approved without a spare room, catch 22.

It's not a career and it's expensive (allowances, travel, etc) and what you actually get to keep as a fee isn't a lot. However it is not considered income for tax purposes and you can claim certain benefits whilst fostering. It's worth seeing a benefits advisor to see whether you could survive between placements. If anyone should give up work to go on benefits it's a foster carer :) If you are expecting to make pots of cash you will be disappointed - and LAs can see through people in it for the money. I'd advise you to apply to the LA rather than an agency. As Nananina said, it's far easier to get placements if you foster for a LA and bear in mind as well that agencies often get referrals for the more challenging DCs who can't be placed in house - and they tend to be older. Personally I

Fisher25 · 11/04/2011 19:44

Have just seen your post. I think fostering can work very well and i would recommend Barnado's as in my experience as a social worker they tend to give better support to foster cares.
My advice would be to think very carefully about the impact a foster child can have on your own child. I have seen very emotionally damaged children "act out" their abuse when in placement sometimes with the foster carers child.
There can be lots of positives for your own child but my advice would be not to underestimate how vulnerable your own child can be when exposed to highly sexualised behaviour for example. Sometimes this behaviour is not known at the time of placing.

fishtankneedscleaning · 11/04/2011 22:06

Fisher I totally agree with your post. I am now fostering for an IFA due to unrealistic expectations from LA. I am still in shock about my (previous) LA Linkworker informing me that foster carers (within our LA) do not cuddle children and certainly do not have them on their laps! I have also have experience of sexualised behaviour from foster children toward my own children.

Maypole I cared for a child from 2 hours old. I adopted her when she was 6 years old - after 4 years of fighting with LA, in high Court. Fostering is definately not a back door to adoption!

fostermumtomany · 27/06/2011 01:50

just wanted to say that not la's will pay you as a short term foster carer if you have a placement or not.
i am a task centred, short term, pre adoption carer and i have neverever been paid an allowance without having a child in placement.
the best thing to do to find out about allowances is to ring your ss and ask what their rates are.
also i would not say fostering is a career, i would (personally) say its more of a vocation.
whether you view it as a job or not it is still devastating when a child you have been caring for leaves. especially if you have had them with you for a year or more.

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