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Forces sweethearts

If you have a family member in the Royal Navy, RAF or army, find support from other Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Dh is looking at joining the RAF, advice from those who have been there/done it please.

43 replies

OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 10:20

dh is 32 and has an interview with the RAF tomorrow. i suppose i want to know what we are letting ourselves in for. whats it like being a forces wife? will i have to give up my degree? we have a 4yo ds, how will it affect him? where will we live? any help gratefully recieved!!

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 10:21

what trade/ branch?

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 10:22

its logistics officer.

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 10:27

i was a stacker lol. (then i was a mover, which is even less popular than the blanket stackers.)

so, cranwell for initial, then supply course, then posting? real job could be anywhere really...

when are you due to finish your course? you might be better off staying where you are whilst he does the first bit in any case?

madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 10:28

my dcs are 9,7,5 and are well rounded like most kids who get to move every two years lol. dd1 is in her fourth school, and we move again in the summer. she'll start yr 5 in her 5th school lol.

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 10:29

officer training is 30w but im only in the first semester of a 3 year degree. what is life like on camp?

OP posts:
Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 10:31

how has it affected her?

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 10:38

she's a total darling and all my friends want to swop her for theirs lol.

tbh it depends on the kid but it hasn't done mine any harm. dd1 makes friends wherever we pitch up (moving again this summer obv)

i think it gets more difficult as they get older. this next posting will take us to secondary school, and obviously it is a bigger decision at that point - stability in education means you either have to go for boarding or dh weekly commutes/ goes unaccompanied. is dh looking for a short service or a permanent?

your course could be an issue - they could send him anywhere after his prof trg - is it something you can transfer? are you on a credit transferable course?

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 10:42

dh is looking at a permanant posting, this will be a career for him. suppose i could do OU..

OP posts:
McDreamy · 16/03/2009 10:46

Is his interview at Cranwell? Is he doing the selection interview I mean - normally a day and a half - great fun!

I have done both, was a serving officer and have now come out and am a wife. I now have 3 children and have moved 3 times in 6 years. I have a great life, lived in some great places, although sometimes it is tough, detatchments are hard, I'm finding lack of family support hard at the moment as I have just had baby no3 5 weeks ago. The children love it although DD found our last move quite difficult leaving friends behind.

Happy to help your DH with any questions he might have about selection and IOT.

BennyAndJoon · 16/03/2009 10:47

Hey Lissie.

DH is RAF. Up until now he has done the weekly commute and I have stayed put, mostly because my eldest was in secondary school. (there was also a period when he was commuting daily and sharing the travel with 2 or 3 others)

It is hard but it was the choice I had to make for DS1 at the time. We are now about to live together in MQs (Married Quarters) as DS1 is 20 and needs to get a grip get on with his own stuff, DS2 is 9 and v sociable so will have no problems moving school, and DD is only 2. Also I have taken redundancy so am looking for a job our new area.

I moved round quite a lot while I was growing up, and I was fine. My brother hated it though. My parents stayed put once we were in secondary school, which I really appreciated.

Not sure about logistics officers, but DH has had to do a stint of 4 months in the Falklands (unaccompanied), which was also over christmas so quite hard on me.

BennyAndJoon · 16/03/2009 10:48

Hey McD - We're finally moving to Aylesbury this weekend (apologies for hijack)

madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 10:51

oh no, don't get into that lol. you do want to have a life! i'm squeezing in a masters during this tour (dissertation due 14 aug, we're posted 3 aug) but at least i get to go and meet real people and get out of the house. credit transfer - just find out how many credits you are likely to have at the point of posting and keep your fingers crossed for a nice uni within driving distance. ds will be at school

for permanent then, you will eventually need to think about secondary ed, but it's a long way off yet - you can have 5 years cruising around the world/ back end of nowehere and then think about it for the third tour

quarters usually ok for officers - much more variable for airmen, generally friendly camps with reasonable facilities, but difficult to do specifics when you're so far off. think of it as an adventure!

generally life is what you make it lol

hope he gets on well tomorrow!

madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 10:53

supply officers do 6 month tours of the Falklands if they're unlucky
but you can visit!

madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 10:54

McDreamy, were you a stacker? when did you go through?

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 10:55

wow, thank you all so much! how long is an average tour? do you get MQs (see how im learning the lingo ) straight away? his interview is the initial one, in the local office.

OP posts:
Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 10:58

tbh we are both quite excited about it, just want some feedback really about life for us as a family. i could move my degree, no probs.

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 11:01

two years. ish.

he will need to ask about current regs on MQs - i think the fact that the training is over 6 months means you are entitled to one, but he will (i think) have to live in the mess for the majority of his initial... (or at least the first 6 weeks?) it's been a while lol

you'll have a while to think about it then - he'll be waiting for a date for selection at cranwell if it goes ok tomorrow. is he fit lol? fond memories of a little place called cardiac hill...

BennyAndJoon · 16/03/2009 11:04

here is a site with quite a lot of info

McDreamy · 16/03/2009 11:18

not a stacker Madwomen, I was in the PMs so only had to do the vicarsandtarts SERE course

madwomanintheattic · 16/03/2009 11:20

ah, slacker, not stacker...

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 12:51

thanks bennyandjoon.

so whats life like on camp? is it easy to make friends?

OP posts:
BennyAndJoon · 16/03/2009 12:58

I don't know yet

we are moving Friday and it will be my first time as a proper forces wife. Also, we are not actually on camp, but on a patch in the nearest town, in an estate that is mostly civvy but DHE have a few houses there.

I will report back in a couple of weeks

notyummy · 16/03/2009 12:59

lissielou, like Mcdreamy, I am an ex-serving RAF officer. Left 4 years ago. DH is still in. My last job was at RAF Cranwell as a Flight Commander (i.e training officer cadets like your DH wishes to be!)I am also mates with two officers who are currently serving as Boarding officers (that is the people who do the selection interviews at Cranwell), so if your DH gets to the next stage then come back and ask LOTS of questions, as he needs to prep VERY well.

In answer to your query. It is usually easy to make friends, although the MQs are not always 'on camp' IFYSWIM. There is usually a central community hub though.

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 16/03/2009 13:11

thanks bennyandjoon. it all sounds qute stressful. my uncle was in the RAF and spent most of his time in germany, but family issues mean im not keen on talking to auntie/cousins about it. plus we want to keep it quiet in rl til(if) dh gets in.

notyummy, thats so great, thank you. what time of things will he need to know, is there any way he could prepare now?

OP posts:
Shoshe · 16/03/2009 13:15

Hi Lissie, I spent all my young life as a daughter of a serving RAF Officer and loved it, things have changed a lot since then, the postings we did were all abroad, mainly far East.

All my brothers and I changed schools frequently, bu we all went onto higher education, apart from one brother who went into the RAF and is now a Wing Commander on Nimrods.

Quarters are some good some bad depending where you are, much as they are in the Army (DH is Army)

I loved the Service life and am sad that DH is out in September and our service life is coming to a close.