Things not to say to a Forces wife

[Sidge]

Well, that's life in a blue suit.

(When telling someone your DH is off away AGAIN)

When dh is away and people say "well you knew what you were letting yourself in for when you married him!!!"

Well, yes, of course I did, I am not stupid but I am also allowed to have feelings and not be apparently immune to the fact that dh is in a war zone for months on end just because I was forewarned that this would happen

Oh and also the old chestnut that when dh's ship is alongside in portsmouth, he does not have to go to work... many people think that he only goes out to work when he is at sea and stays at home 24/7 the rest of the time!!

Oh yes and when people say how lucky we are that dh has 3 weeks leave in the summer and 2 weeks at christmas and easter... YES MATEY, that is in return for 20 weekends away every year and only being home for 40% of the evenings

I shared a house with a girl who would go on for ages about how she missed her partner, didn't been gone 20 minutes and he was only doing a night shift and would be back in the morning, at that time my DP had been away for two months with another two to go.

DH had just been sent into Kosovo, all the wives were asked to a meeting to be briefed on the campaign, domestic issues etc. We were asked to fill in a form stating next of kin etc. "So you can all be rich widows".

Another time when DH was in NI. I was working with a lad from NI who told me he spent his youth taking pot-shots at British soldiers, and that DH would be "lucky to come back alive".

"why don't you come back to work for a couple of shifts a week to give you a break from the kids?" said by a nurse i used to work with after i'd just been moaning about dh being away for pretty much the whole of this year.

Errr because dh is AWAY all the time, my family are250miles away and how do i find affordable childcare for 3 children from 7am til 8pm including school drop offs and pick ups??? I would LOVE to go back to work but it just seems impossible at the moment.

thanks sidge for starting this thread i meant to . Too busy flying ye right no seriously trying too.

Can so relate to all of these. The "They must be used to it by now your husband is away so often." That was in context to the children. In fact a mum whose in forces thought i was married to someone else!!!!

The best was at my mother's funeral this on 24th of july this year. "I don't agree with the war in Basra........" This was after making the tough decision not to bring d/h home as he would have had to go back and the girls and i just couldn't face that.

I reply "Funny old thing I don't particularly want my husband there either. Don't really think now is the time or place ." I tell you really had to press my overload with niceness button

Girls, Hope I never say the wrong thing to you. My heart goes out to you all. Can't write anything else just in case in the wrong thing. May all your sweet dreams come true.

Thought of another thing. During the fire strike, DH was sent from where we were in Scotland down to Kent to do fire cover.
I wnet to my aunts furneral, and her neighboour was there with her sons both of whom were firemen on strike.
She said to me "I hope your DH and his colleagues die in a fire, because they are taking the jobs away from my lads"

hello saltire!!!! unbelieveable about the fireman thing.

i think the best quote i have read on here was emmmm something about being "resilient forces wives" yes we are and i am proud to be a coping mum and not whinging and moaning and just getting on with it. [proud icon]

saltire...tha is awful....
oh I do remember that effing strike, as it soooooooooooo pissed me off...now, I usually am quite good with hubby going away, etc...but that time it so bugged me...as he was away at the end of my pg with ms, and I was so stressed out, and worried he wouldn't be back in time, etc...!
And he had to go back to NI soon after the Birth, something else I just didn't need...Firefighters were not on the list of my best liked people at the time...
I thought it was highly unproffessional of them to strike in such way....being a Nurse, I know that Nursing strikes would never be done in such way...there would always be cover to look after patients...I truely could NOT undestand how they could justify their strike, or the way it was conducted...
hohum....makes me angry still now, so many years later
I remember watching a morning programme where they interviewed a family/firefighter...and they were sitting there with their Baby moaning about it....well...rubbing salt into an open wound sprang to my mind....

saltire my dh had to cover the firemans strikes 5 days after coming back from bosnia so he was away from dd1 (10 months at the time) for even longer.

my dad is a part time fire-man in charge of the local station and he refused to strike totally disagreeing with the cause, 4 years on some of the men he has worked with for 30 years still will not talk to him apart from when they have to.

someone really got my back up on here one day saying why could royal mail not get the army to cover the postmans strikes as well.

wtf because they are soldiers not flipping mail men.

Saltire that is just vile

I fell out with quite a few women in my postnatal group after having DD1 as one of them was a fireman's wife, and I told her I disagreed with the strike action. She said that her husband risked his life every time he went to work, and mine didn't because he was in the Navy and all the ships are miles away from any danger. Aaah, yes, that'll be why he has lots of medals from various conflicts then, not because he risked his life for his country...