Why do people think that the army is made up mostly of grunts who haven't got a GCSE between them

[Grabaspoon]

Don't know if you've seen the current army bashing thread but this really made my blood boil

"Offensive? So it's not true that the army is made up mostly of grunts who haven't got a GCSE between them because they're either not that bright, not that academic or from a background where the army seemed like a valid choice given the other options?"

They won't, at that point, be taking him home. They'll be taking him away from his home. Again.

But but,TIY that is sort of like saying that for instance i am a lesser parent because dp died?I think,I dunno,I haven;t read thread,that as long as the child is loved and supported by family (gps?) at age 2-3 they will not really remember????In an ideal world every child would have 2 loving parents that are there all the time but sadly for lots of reasons this isn't always possible for all families.Perversely i would have more of an issue if the child was older,but personally I can't remember being 2.Oh i dunno.In an ideal world we would all have marvellous 2 parent families who are there constantly but life isn't always like this.(I havent read other thread)

i'd say 'home is where the army sends you' but it would only be a little joke. i don't mean to be argumentative, but there has been a whole raft of military-bashing on mn lately, and to see even a tenuous autism link (amongst the usual 'you're all thick and stupid' rubbish) was enough to tip me over the edge.

i don't know the couple concerned, obviously. but i do know a number of adults whose parents left them with grandparents for a year (or three) and who are fully functioning family members in their own right, bringing up their own kids quite happily. i don't think it's possible to generalise that this action will lead to this conclusion. all of the (extended) family members will be working together to make sure that it doesn't happen.

no i don't think so mavis, cos he will have had the continuity from YOU being there.
of course he may be affected by his dad's death, but I don't think it's the same as both parents suddenly disappearing, the child then readjusting to life with his new caregivers (for a LONG time too), accepting them basically as new parents... and then the original 2 coming back and tearing it all apart again.

i just don't think you can compare it. and you know, some things are beyond our control. but this was within their control and they chose to do it still.

The parents will get leave in that period and see their child.

Hi MavisEnderby

Even if kids don't remember certain events the feeling of insecurity/upheaval/abandonment has an effect on their development & can stay with them. We can't usually remember events earlier than 4/5 years of age, but attachment in the first few years lays the foundations for well, pretty much everything.

MWITA- sounds like you are quoting from the wooden houses from the 'Home Is...' company?
We have one and we're about to add our 9th block to it! (you perhaps aren't talking about what I'm thinking you're talking about, in which case, I'll just shut up now)

Vintage,

I know what you mean and I want one of those. Is there a web address for them please?

Yes - I know the lady actually. She's lovely. We thought we had stopped but weekend commuting not working so will be away for the next 2 years and then back here to own house. So I'll need to order another 2 blocks of wood!

The address is:

www.home-is.com/home.html/Home.html

Have just seen the chuff charts - going to buy DH one for father's day.

I am here; have had tonsillitis and hassles at home so have been off MN for a couple of days as the anti RE thread made me want to explode.What is happening?

grabaspoon I have posted on this sub forum before about how demoralising the "army bashing" is for those of us that are serving members of the armed forces and our better halves whatever sex they are.
It is especially galling that people always lump the 3 services together and assume we are all army and therefore all the same. None of us are neanderthals but that is how we are portayed, as stupid, mindless thugs. People forget the range of jobs servicemen do from infantry to chefs,Drs and priests as well as barristers, IT specialists, engineers, teachers .... I could go on ad infinitum.
It is also upsetting when people portray me (by association)as a bad parent because I am in the forces. I joined up 19 years ago and only started having children 5 years ago, I am lucky my DH is a SAHD and supports my career choice but why should I sacrifice my ability to provide for my family and the pension I am contributing to just because I am a woman in the forces, I thought those sexist attitudes were long gone but clearly not. My DH is ex army and he and I are the same trade - being a woman doesnt stop me doing my job which on occasion may mean being very close to the front line. It is no different me being away than him if he was still serving.
Oh and we're not all drunken thugs, I imagine anyone living in a university town has large nos of students rolling around drunk at the weekend so the person who said they lived in an army town and complained about this maybe ought to move to Manchester or somewhere else and realise that is just the "yoof" of today

Sorry rant over

vintage love the home is link thank you!

link here you are scary

It's always been next to the front door mrssnaplegs and is a really good ice breaker/talking point. Quite a few people I know now have the 'home is where the army/navy/etc sends us'. They're lovely.

i've seen them around. was going to make my own at one point (i do have a frightening number of planned but never completed/ seldom started craft projects lurking... some of the tole painting variety) but as dh has resigned it seems i've missed the boat

although i could get a finished article i suppose!

hmm - have just spent £62 !!!

Bought a 'chuff chart' for father's day and one for nana and grandad - only problem is that they have 8 grnad children so based on the fact that you are allowed 4 blocks and it's £2.50 per extra, that adds up! Oh well - they're very original and I defo wouldn't be able to craft my own.

We have one of those houses and I bought one for my parents with all the grandchildren on it (which reminds me that I still have to order a new block for our baby daughter!).

I'm tired of all the forces bashing too and the total inability to see that just because a parents/s goes away doesn't necessarily mean your child will be damaged. Anyway must get my 'not very bright and not very academic' head back into studying for my BSc.

I know a fair bit about attachment disorder. It is an extreme disorder caused by extreme events.

I really do not think its as simple as having parents leaving to go on active service.

Children can develop secure attachment to any figure. It doesnt have to be a parent as long as that person is there for them and loving.

The children I know of with RAD are those that have suffered neglect/loss/abuse as young children. Children in the care system.

My DS has shaky attachment but not RAD. He has been with me since he was 8 weeks old but the neglect and lack of nurturing he suffered during that time (and in the following two years before we had PR)has left its legacy.

I do not see the connection with military families unless they are also neglectful and abusive.

Thank you mrs devere