How did you react to DH/DP going on deployment?

[tiptop2]

Mine went to Afghanistan in January and I?m really starting to pull away whilst he?s gone. I can?t seem to help it. Sometimes I find myself desperate to have him back but then often I?ll think it?s all going wrong/we?re not meant to be. We were only going out for 5 months before he left so I?m feeling quite a bit of pressure.

Just wondering if anyone else felt like this and how did you cope?

you have described my life - trashy tv, hairy legs, books and dog on DP's side of the bed, no tinned spaghetti but plenty of girlie food and soppy movies to watch.

Didn't know everyone else kept their library there too! The things you learn on MN!!

Ooh yes - the stuff on the other side of the bed!! Mine actually has strata ; occasionally I need to 'excavate' down a few layers to find something important.

My clothes have also started to annexe his drawers and hanging space, in a Hitler-esque marching-into-Poland fashion. In a very short while, the troops of Moleskin Trouser and Tyrwhitt Shirt will arrive to drive back the invasion into the hinterland.

I appear to have claimed the entire 3' x 3'6" bathroom cabinet, too, somehow...

Talc: me too!

Tiptop2: you sound as if you're fitting right in !

TandT - mmmm, we have moleskins and Tyrwhitt shirts as well; RN officer uniform!

As far as the Army is concerned, you can line up a group all in correct uniform and not have a matching pair. But in muftil they're identical.

We've Tyrwhitt shirts (also TM Lewin), moleskins (and corduroys - some in alarming colours, but by the time they're 15 yrs old, they fade to acceptable), tweed jacket died of old age a few years ago.

I tried to scroll up to see LtEve's post about her Dh's wardrobe, And realised it's not here and we're crossing threads!

So true scary - no need to do any stereotyping, they do it all themselves!

I am only joking, but I'm yet to meet the brave individualist who'd step out of a morning wearing purple loons and a cheesecloth tunic. Mind you some of the sin bosuns are a bit wacky in the sartorial department - one OH knows used to sport (on his parka ) a Roger Melly (The Man on the Telly) lapel badge saying 'Bollocks'. Nuff said.

Bloody hell - don't know what went wrong with the italics there!

You should have seen what dh wore until I got hold of him!

Moleskins. check
Cords (red). check
checked shirt -uhhh check
brown leather brogues. check
cravat...... Ok so even he didn't go that far

(the Regt that taste forgot.......but, if you ain't cav.... Check)

OP, there will be ups and downs. DH once kept 2 of the blueys I sent him to show me how crazy I was. Fridays bluey was totally depressed, hated him, hated me, hated life etc etc etc. Saturdays bluey was all sweetness and light, happy and smiley talking about the dog I was fostering.

Thing is, if he had told me about it I wouldn't have believed him. I thought I was bearing up well - deluded!

I found the last month was always the best, because I would plan things for us to do, silly stuff like I was going to greet him at the airhead with a cold beer and a jar of jalepenos!

Chin up matey, if you can cope now, by the time you are married with kids you will be a dab hand!

scary pray do tell?

Cowboy boots and slightly flared jeans, and he had a brown suit....however, common sense now prevails; boots are from Shipton and Heneage and I sort all his clothing so he looks OK.

So now <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=scenteddemented.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/dream-jeans-man.jpg&imgrefurl=scenteddemented.com/blog/%3Fp%3D581&usg=_ZiZy4J2JP3BAsl_ArEP5avTeKRI=&h=1576&w=1127&sz=461&hl=en&start=154&zoom=1&tbnid=De06clj4qlnEPM:&tbnh=122&tbnw=92&ei=rrtzTefgEpC74Abt3-imDQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3D70s%2Bcatalogue%2Bman%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG%26biw%3D1436%26bih%3D706%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C2348&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=784&vpy=335&dur=1831&hovh=266&hovw=190&tx=114&ty=178&oei=h7tzTariM4O6hAfi09Q&page=5&ndsp=35&ved=1t:429,r:22,s:154&biw=1436&bih=706" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this is the mental image I have! . Mind you, the eighties had a lot to answer for all told. I shudder at photos taken of us as a young couple.

So what you're telling us scary is that you're responsible for kitting your DH in his RN officer's 'uniform' - otherwise he'd be a maverick rebel dresser...

---> peeks in wardrobe...

Three-piece suits (two pinstripe, one tweed) with garish linings? Got those. Cords/moleskins in assorted colours (Lilac? Why, oh why?)? Yup. Red chinos? Loads. Checked shirts? Ditto. Vile, bright socks? Too many pairs to count.

When we lived near Salisbury, my mother used to comment on the amount of people to whom we used to nod hello. We responded that we didn't actually know them, we just knew they were Army by the way they dressed.

My husband went in october when i was 10 weeks pregnant with our first and is due to return the week before my due date. I honestly think its been good and bad. Ive had thoughts of the baby to keep me occupied and I work full time. Having said that ive been very lonely and sometimes forget what its like to have him here. I do feel a bit like a single parent to be at the moment. I dont know what i would have done if I didnt work and didnt have the baby to take my mind off it. I also dont get any support from anyone such as the other wives etc. I really dont know anybody on the base. In fact I would have expected someone from the base to check on me at least once but no one has. Ive got an emergency contact number and got an xmas card but that is it! more support really would help a lot of partners left at home.

TAT - it wasn't quite that bad!! He has moleskins because I like the feel of them, and the Tyrwhitt shirts because he needed to wear a suit for work and they were fine for that. Have just bought new load as non uniform de rigeur again some days (and there was a sale, plus military discount and I think VAT free as we are at a BFPO address, Joseph Turner also good for that).

He wouldn't be a maverick dresser, but not well coordinated...however submariners don't seem to care. Mind you, anything has to be an improvement on oil stained overalls, knicks and socks and not much else!!

scary I agree about the moleskins and shirts - very tactile and always look suitably smart or dressed down. There as a time when DH was working on Battle Staff on Whaley and had to wear all that army DPM gear; I could never get my head round that - it was a bit like cross-dressing!

mrsnich84 I am so sorry to hear that you've had so little support, especially as you are living on a base. There must be others in your situation - are there any places that you could get together with other families? I really feel for you - being alone when you are pregnant is no joke; how long until your husband is home?

Mrsnich84: hope all is going well. I think it can be extra difficult in pregnancy, even when it's going smoothly - and probably rather a shock to DH when he comes back and finds you a completely different shape.

I hope he's safely back by the birth!

Dh was at JFHQ for a while and had to go to Egypt for a big exercise. We still have the combat 95s in the cellar!

This thread has made me feel better. Thanks. My OH is going away in a couple of weeks for 5 months and he is a submariner so there will be very limited contact.

Its our first time apart in 15 months together (where we have been lucky enough to have most weekends) and the thought of not seeing him for that long with very little contact is making me feel like I am about to have an amputation.

We have had such a wonderful year together and its made me realise how happy he has made me, and how much I will miss him.

He left home last weekend and even he got really upset and was torn to go and hes been in for 20 years.

We aren't married and my friends don't really understand how I am feeling right now - gushing about how romanric it will be writing letters (that he will be unable to reply to ) and about partners going away for a few days on business with email, mobile phones etc etc.

Have now downloaded a countdown app onto my mobile so I'll know when hes coming home

Husband has been away for 6 months and due back in 2 weeks. Now it's nearly over it seems to have gone quickly and although at times it was awful I can't really recall them now as just too happy he's coming home.

I have enjoyed my hairy legs, bikini line down to my knees and long enough to plait, sleeping on his side of the bed and watching some seriously trash tele.
I'd say what your feeling is normal for someone that had not been with their partner long and try not to read too much into how you feel...if that makes sense!
It has also made me realise how hard some of my single mum friends have it and appreciate having my DH more (if that was possible!). So it's not all bad when they go away. Look for the positives as there are some even if they are only small.
Not looking forward to BIG WAX next week though...OUCH OUCH OUCH!!

Happylander, how exciting, not the wax obviously! Pleased for you that he's nearly back.

Tiptop how are you getting on?

Interested to see this thread bumped; my OH is back now after over seven months away and it is indescribably wonderful to have him home. The homecoming was probably one of the most emotional I have experienced in all our years together; my grown-up stoic daughters cried like babies.

Bed-strata removed; clothes have retreated back into their own territory. Hairy bits are smooth as the proverbial baby's arse.

OH is supposed to be relaxing on leave but so far has cleared out the cellar; cleaned the oven (oh, the shame at the state of it); done loads of washing and ironing; improved our broadband connection; evicted the starlings roosting in the wall cavity; repaired all the bits that were falling off stuff here and there...

He's only been home for five days; these are the sort of things he'd looked forward to doing! There's no accounting for taste.

Hi all, DP has just returned for R&R and if I?m honest, it hasn?t been the most amazing, romantic reunion. I?ve felt really disconnected from him and can?t seem to show him the love we had before he left. I hope this is just an adjustment period but I?m really worried my feelings have changed for him whilst he?s been away. I know he?s sensed something but hasn?t said anything yet. We?re going out for dinner tonight and I?m panicking because I want to feel like I used to and I don?t and I don?t know why.

Unsure Valentine - I used to write letters and number them so he'd have them when he got back and could get up to speed with what was going on whilst waiting for the boat to get alongside and clearing customs etc.

If there was a fifth watch change then sometimes I'd get a letter. It's doable, honest, the majority of the first 4 years of our marriage were spent with him under the water somewhere or other and then we did for another 2 later. We've been married 25 years this year, so it can be dealt with!

Tiptop2 - it's always strange when they come back. He's also come from somewhere where his mind has been on the job and will be on what he's doing when he goes back, and you know that he's going back and are dealing with that as well. My dsil said it wasn't 'romantic' when db came back from Afghan for his 10 days - it was a case of sleeping, eating, showering, seeing the kids and relatives and then going back. I'd save the gushy romantic stuff for when he is really back, and just let him have the space he needs for R&R.