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Original poster

Help! Barbecue Etiquette for Muslim neighbours - advice needed.

29 replies

PollyPentapeptide · 22/05/2008 19:30

It's tommorow night (despite the forecast of rain )

We are fine for meat etc as have ordered in lots of halal chicken and burgers and everyone will be eating these. Also plan to do lots of veggie skewers and salads etc.

But some of our guests are not Muslim so will almost certainly be expecting beer and wine but can we serve it?

I don't want to offend our Muslim friends and have put masses of effort into getting the food just right for them (and really looking forward to it

Anyone any experience on this? Can we serve alcohol but also provide lots of soft drinks as an alternative too? Or would alcohol on the premises be a complete no no!

Also one of guests is a Chelsea supporter and one supports Man U (dear god) so beer will be hard to avoid.

What if they bring their own?
I am am panicking now and feel like cancelling!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

amner · 22/05/2008 19:35

Where is it ? at your house ?

How strict are they ?

cornsilk · 22/05/2008 19:37

Why not ask them?

NotQuiteCockney · 22/05/2008 19:37

It depends how strict they are, I expect. But if they're happy to come eat at your house, it's probably fine.

(Do be aware, if they are strict, they will mind about whether the vinegar you use in the salads, or anything else, is fermented.)

LaylaandSethsmum · 22/05/2008 19:37

Maybe you should ask them. Some muslims don't like to be where alcohol is others don't mind just don't drink it themselves. Personally I would be going with what the majority opinion is.

Original poster

PollyPentapeptide · 22/05/2008 19:40

It is at our house.

How strict are they? I'm not really sure how can I tell? They observe Eid etc but are just lovely friendly neighbours, always out chatting so yes, could ask but don't want to put them on the spot.

Thank you for the tip re the vinegar, I will avoid that for safetys sake

OP posts:

MrsMuddle · 22/05/2008 20:38

When I've had a group that includes Muslim friends, I've served alcohol, but also nice non-alcoholic drinks, like punch. I;m sure they'll appreciate the fact that you've got halal meat and plenty of vegetarian options too.

FluffyMummy123 · 22/05/2008 20:41

Message withdrawn

missorinoco · 22/05/2008 20:43

you sound like you have been v thoughtful with all the halal food. if it is at your house and they know you i would be surprised if they expected you not to serve alcohol. lots of soft drinks options, and clear labelling of any ambiguous items should do the trick.

have a great time.

JaneHH · 22/05/2008 20:43

lol Cod but eating too much halal doesn't turn people into raving anti-social berks of an evening

JaneHH · 22/05/2008 20:44

(not that your friends are like that, OP, but you know what I mean - I hope!!!)

FluffyMummy123 · 22/05/2008 20:45

Message withdrawn

ruddynorah · 22/05/2008 20:48

it'll be fine. if they were super strict then they'd have declined your invitation.

JaneHH · 22/05/2008 20:50

I think you're being very thoughtful, OP - lashings of alcohol-free drinks besides all the halal meat will definitely make sure they feel welcome

Enjoy - and let's hope the weather holds!

chunkychips · 22/05/2008 20:50

They've accepted your offer, so they can't be that strict and they also can't tell you what you're allowed to do in your own garden. It's probably obvious to them that you will be having alcohol.

Blandmum · 22/05/2008 20:51

Not sure if this 'holds' for very observant muslims, but my dad worked with some ultra ortodox jews and they prefered to eat from paper plates that had never been in contact with non kosher foods

finallydoneit · 22/05/2008 20:54

do they were hijabs?

nancy75 · 22/05/2008 20:56

usually if somebody is that strict about their religion (whatever it is) they would have asked about this before accepting the invitation, i think it will be fine

Sullwah · 22/05/2008 21:06

Its your house - serve what you like.

Though of course you have to make sure that there is food to suit everyone. eg - if they were veggies - you should make sure there were veggie burgers - but you would not expect all your guests to go veggie for the day.

Why is this different?

finallydoneit · 22/05/2008 21:09

halal meet tastes the same as ordinary meet so it does suit everyone

Original poster

PollyPentapeptide · 22/05/2008 22:08

This all sounds perfectly sensible
They don't wear hijabs - just normal western clothes but the mum does cover her head.

Me and DH won't be drinking anyway, I'm sure we will manage. It's just whether or not everyone else will be.

I've decided not to worry and just enjoy the evening. Our children get on very well with their kids and we spent loads of time chatting out the front. Just never done entertaining before

Thanks for all your sugesstions. Perhaps I shuld get paper plates though? Ok, now I'm worrying again!!

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 22/05/2008 22:10

I don't think you need to worry about paper plates - they've agreed to come over, they sound quite integrated, I'm sure they realise that you may serve food on plates that maybe has had pork on it once, I'm sure they know there will be alcohol.

Do they even care if the meat is halal? They may be of the 'just don't eat pork' school of thought. (Or even the 'pretend to think it's lamb' school of thought. )

ilovewashingnappies · 22/05/2008 22:13

ALthough this is a more unusual time for you I'm sure you rfriends will be more that used to sharing social time with others of differing religions.

Sounds great, wish I could come I'm starving...

Original poster

PollyPentapeptide · 22/05/2008 22:15

I will save you a skewer nappies {grin]

Also, 3 of my friends are coming and are doing slimming world with me so bloody kebabs will sprayed in fry light

OP posts:

Meid · 23/05/2008 14:35

My DH is Muslim and when we went to a bbq last summer we really appreciated the host telling us that they had thoroughly cleaned their grill as it had previously been used to cook pork.

Original poster

PollyPentapeptide · 23/05/2008 16:11

Thanks Meid, it is a good point as we tend to be a bit skanky in our house and do not necessarily scrub the grill in between barbecues (well the flames kill off any germs right? )

Ours was due a good scrub though, so it now looks as good as new!

OP posts:

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