Halal rundown - muslim mumsnetters?

[Plinkyplonky2]

Hello folks

we have a new nanny starting who is quite devout muslim. She’s said she’s only comfortable handling halal food which I totally understand and respect. I’ve done some research and from our local sains i’ll just get chicken, mince etc from the halal section of the store.

But i seem to recall there’s more to it than just meat… what am i missing? If memory serves it’s also no shellfish (?) no fermented products (? Soy sauce? Vinegar?) had a muslim housemate at uni and we used to cook together sometimes but that was ages back.

What about dairy? I guess we need special stock cubes?

This lady is lovely and mary poppins with the kids so i want to make sure she feels comfortable in the house and that she has ingredients she can work with.

Anyone help with a crash course?

I use AbrahamsHalalMeat.com. The quality of their meat is really good. Whilst it is quite expensive, it's no more so than the meat I buy for me and my husband from Eversfield or Ocado. It helps that we live close enough to be able to collect the meat from the farm rather than rely on DPD to lose it! It's also nice to see how spotlessly clean everywhere is when we collect the meat, and to talk to the delightful staff, who are really helpful.

To people who are questioning the use of nutmeg, I have discussed this with my daughter and son in law many times, and they have always been adamant that it should not be used, even in small quantities. This comes up every Christmas at the time when I'm starting to think about food shopping. As I've said, she has consulted multiple imams, asked her husband's family, their friends, and I've also researched online myself. I've read many articles which are very clear that nutmeg is not permissable even in small quantities. I assume this varies between sects, or maybe countries - my son in law's family are Palestinian but have lived in Jordan for many years. I just try to follow whatever religious dietary advice or customs I'm made aware of and try my best not to cause any offence to any visitors to my house.

It's super lovely you're thinking of this. I'm muslim - no pork, even pork gelatin in sweets. If you look packaged stuff suitable for vegans that should be fine.

We don't mind shel fish, nutmeg or vinegar, are happy trace amounts of alcohol in desserts etc.

I think you guys will be fine, just as long as you both start with honesty and inclusion. My sis law is Christian at family parties my brother and her don't drink if my parents are present. And my parents always leave early so she and my brother can enjoy having a drink.

I don't think this union will need to be as strict as you think. She's already been in your home. Feels comfortable enough there to accept your employ.

The dancing and nutmeg issues are all really good points of why a general asking mumsnet maybe isn't a good idea...observance really varies.

People seem to think my family is really strict with regard to dancing for example but none of the women in my family have ever worn the Hijab or Niqab (only very thin material Shayla with some hair usually on show) so that would be seen as many to be less observant.

My family are originally Indian and how they and my Turkish, Saudi or Pakistani colleagues observe is MILES apart. And sometimes it's a real point of contention.

So @Plinkyplonky2 you really need
to sit down with your nanny and make sure you hear from her what she expects as otherwise you may do things unnecessarily or inadvertantly miss something.

@All2Well @Plinkyplonky2
This is a very good answer. Levels are observance can vary very much. It really depends on her level of observance.

Oh yeah OP, don't overthink things and don't worry too much. My dad is a revert and my mum is Muslim born, so my entire family on my dad side is Christian. Cohabiting and living with each others' religions and cultures was fine and natural.

@Plinkyplonky2 honestly I have no idea why she would say that. I have never seen my mother in law refuse to use any condiments in cooking.

Growlybear83
I find the contrast here quite jarring. Your daughter is such a strict Muslim that she asks you to home make Christmas cake, Christmas pudding and mince pies because of an ingredient many Muslims eat happily, all the while celebrating Christmas with you , her family? I do understand you can sit down to Christmas dinner and eat these foods without regard to any Christian meaning and many Muslim families do. It's just surprising in your daughters case as she is a strict Muslim in all other ways.

@SnowsFalling probably because they were shattered and didn't fancy cooking in temperatures above 40 degrees. Not because they were fasting.

@ginasevern I really wish you wouldn't make statements saying what is halal vs not without credible links- I've provided mine. Where are yours?. Vinegar has been deemed 'halal' by all schools of belief in Islam. What is impermissible is to buy alcohol for the purposes of making alcohol. Also, even then, impermissible doesn't mean Haram (forbidden), it means 'disliked'.

Yours faithfully, a Muslim.

This is because some cultures think they're better than others and take things too far.

Op, I'd carry on as you are. Your nanny applied for and accepted your advertised post because she's got the relevant skills necessary to do her job well. Not because she was under any impression that she'd be working in a mosque! You sound lovely for trying to make her feel so welcome but your nanny will be more than aware that you're not Muslim and she seems like she's okay with that!!

Nooooo my daughter doesn't ask me to make xmas puddings, cake etc - it's entirely my decision to try to accommodate her dietary requirements. She comes home over Christmas each year because she knows it's important to us to have her here with us during the holiday period, even though she doesn't celebrate it at all , ie no presents, cards etc. she's our only child and she knows how sad I would be if she wasn't here. Before she converted, my daughter always loved Christmas type food and I would feel so mean if we tucked into a Christmas pudding that she couldn't eat, so I try each year to make as many things as I can that we would normally have and which we can all eat so as not to exclude her.

@ginasevern Have you looked at willow Farm Oxfordshire? Not only is the meat organic, but the farm is run in a environmentally friendly way. A lot my friends use it and are very happy with quality and service. It's unaffordable to me as we are a family of 6, with teens who need a lot of feeding!

Sorry @Plinkyplonky2 to digress.

@Growlybear83 Its so comforting to hear how you both mother and daughter honour each others. My mum is definitely a feeder and loves to make our favourites. What a lovely daughter that she travels to make Christmas special for you.

Peace and blessings to you both.

Preparing food for children whilst fasting is absolutely fine.

Growlybear83 Sorry I got the wrong end of stick. Agree with pp, you sound absolutely lovely and it's no wonder your daughter is also happy to be home with her family over the Christmas period.