Please help, I just can't cook and it is getting me down!

[dubaipieeye]

Just thrown away another horrible effort (beef in red wine in the slow cooker) - third time this week. Am in tears and have had huge row with DH after he tasted it and meekly suggested that we order out.

I'm new to all this stay-at-home-Mum-do-the-cooking thing and the cooking element is really getting me down. I have bought a slow cooker and done a couple of lovely chickens in it, a nice spag bol and a good chilli but that is about the extent of my repetoire. My son is 4mo and I am getting worried about weaning him now - what will I feed him? We now live in Dubai (you may have guessed!!) but when we lived and both worked in London we lived on M&S food - the like of which is not available here and I am now lost. My Mum was a terrible cook when we were younger (baked beans and pasta, as spag bol!) but she has suddenly become a domestic goddess - not sure how

I have tried the Delia cookery course but honestly I just find that this and lots of cookbooks just encourage you to buy loads of expensive and fancy ingredients that you never use again. Food is incredibly expensive here and I hate waste. I need to learn to cook standard, basic family fare. I don't want to bake, make my own pasta etc etc...just know how to feed the three of us without relying on pasta n sauce every night. Please help - this is really getting me down :( Thank you.

Your MIL sounds a nightmare for starters - what a dreadful thing to suggest! Presumably he is a grown man who could throw himself together a healthy sandwich if he felt malnourished. Hoping she is not in Dubai with you.

I agree with whoever said that your baby is only 4 months old and you must be pretty tired anyway. I would stick to simple and quick things that don't need much fiddling with as if you have another baby in a couple of years, it will be a while until you have time at supper time for fiddly recipes.

Risotto is a good one as you add bits and pieces and can then quickly wander off and do something with the baby in between. Simple, easy and very satisfying. Chops and roasts are good because then you only have to worry about the vegetables as they cook themselves.

Whoever said lasagne is the most simple meal ever must have more patience than me. I always find it needs a pan for the cheese sauce, pan for the mince, endless chopping and then a really hard to clean baked hard dish at the end of it all! Don't forget things liked fresh fish baked in foil parcels in the oven. If you go to Waitrose they have bags that they put fresh fish into with herb butter and lemon which makes it easier - not certain they would have that in Dubai, but ask anyway as they don't advertise it.

A previously successful career does not mean you will find parenting and this domestic grunge easy unfortunately. I find people who find it easiest seem to be the mums who are not remotely driven and can go with the flow - it takes a while to learn that particular skill! Good luck (btw when we weaned our first, I could cook nothing and am now a reasonably able cook for day to day stuff).

I really like MOF and Jamie's 30 min meals.

With the 30 min meals I find I am not worrying about timing, as it is all set out in a logical order. Just allow yourself 60 mins not 30.

Not keen on Delia, I find her recipes a bit faffy.

I have a few simple recipes that I have made up myself, once you are more confident you will be able to bung stuff in a pan. For now, stick to recipes.

I also use food.com - there are a lot of US recipes but you should be able to get most of the ingredients in Dubai. I like US recipes as they often use cup measures so less faff with weighing stuff.

All great advice on here. And don't worry. The first time I cooked on my own I made a tuna and tomato pasta sauce, with raw chopped onion, raw garlic and handfuls of dried herbs and forgot to cook it. Just mixed it in a bowl and put it on the the over-cooked gooey pasta. Gross. BUT I am a really good cook now, mostly because of making a lot of mistakes and gaining confidence through them (after initial pissed off/upset moments). Once I got going and began to trust what worked things improved really fast. You'll be fine.

I am really interested in what other ingredients are available in Dubai that we don't have in the UK? Or is it very international for all the ex-pats? If you're interested in just reading about Middle Eastern food Claudia Roden is fantastic. I cook her stuff now - lots of things with cumin, lamb, mint, yogurt...not hard to do either.

Jamie Oliver is great for easy things. But to be honest, I get the vast majority of recipes from the internet. If you can read, you can follow a recipe.

I gave my bf cooking lessons when we first got together. He can now make various passable dishes (risotto being a favourite).

I'm happy to offer whatever help I can, too :)

Thank you so much dubaipieeye, you have really inspired me. I am a useless cook, we live in Spain so I have no access to M and S either, plus ready meals here are terrible. I am on maternity leave too, DD2 is 3 weeks.

I was feeling so guilty as DH is coming in from work and cooking still, after picking up DD1 etc... He is an ex mitchlin starred chef so all his meals taste wonderful, he just seems to throw it in and magic!

So, today I have cooked a lentil soup...and even if I do say so myself it tastes OKish, well not as good as DH's but its a start.

It was the recipe in Red magazine.

In a large saucepan over a medium heat, dry fry half a teaspoon each of cumin seeds and coriander seeds for around 30 secs, until fragrant. Add a splash of oil and diced carrort and onion and sweat gently stiring from time to time, until soft. Tip in a tin of chopped tomatoes, the same amount of vegetable stock or water and a teacup full of red lentils. Simmer until the lentils are soft, around 25 mins, then blitz with a blender. If it is a bit thick add more stock or water. Adjust seasoning and serve with a dollop of yoghurt.

DH better make the right noises tonight, sometimes he isn't very encouraging about my cooking!

I second Nigella Lawson - How to Eat. My family has three copies - my mum has one, my sister bought herself one when she left university and I bought mine in my first year. It was written when her children were relatively small and has a really good section on cooking for children (including baby purees and the like), as well as cooking for one/two rather than whole families and a really good low fat section for when you're feeling rubbish about yourself.

I find Nigella's writing to be the most supportive, if a cookbook ever can be.

Also, foil is your friend. When my boyfriend went to university pretty much all he could cook was fish in foil parcels. It might take a bit of trial and error to work out timings depending on the size/type of fish you use, but just put in on a piece of foil with some seasoning if you want, scrunch the foil together and put in a moderate oven. Same works for chicken breasts (between 20 and 30 minutes at gas mark 6 should work) and it stops them drying out.

Good luck!!

I loved my MOF until it mysteriously got burned - ok I set it on fire with the gas ring! Am also a huge fan of Nigella too, her new one Kitchen has some great easy recipes in it.

Why don't you think about subscribing to the BBC Good Food magazine - not sure how that would work in Dubai but I subscribed for a year and it really helped me out with loads of new ideas and great pictures. Now I just head to the website because it is free

I second most of the advice on here. DH is slowly learning to cook and generally finds recipes from simple books like Jamie's MOF the best way. He is loving the Chilli recipe in there although has decided to up the meat quota as it felt a little too saucy/beany.

The other thing he's doing, which is perhaps less exciting, but does result in perfectly tasty, nutritious meals, is that he's mastering the art of preparing something very simple like a piece of fried salmon, which he serves with mixed vegetables. he doesn't do anything fancy with them - just boils or steams them and serves with olive oil or some butter. But with a good piece of fish or a nice lamb chop, that's still delicious and both of us are happy.

He regularly does fish fingers, salmon or lamb chops in this way. Salmon he cooks with sesame oil and he puts some rosemary on the lamb, perhaps with some garlic in the pan. Fish fingers are served with mayo and ketchup!

Oh, he's also mastered the basic (Jamie) omelette:

Fry whatever you're planning to use as the filling in the pan. Lower your heat so it's not too hot and pour in 2-3 beaten eggs. Let them cook gently. Once the top is almost firm, scatter some cheese on top and then flip half the omelette over. Cook for another minute. Serve.

This serves one person. You can either do a bigger version for two and just split it in half, or do two quick ones.

The Good Food website is fab. Breaks everything down into how easy to cook n how long it takes. Loads of free recipes and you can create a binder with your faves in to go back to time and time again. And it's free.

started the thread thinking - oh she should make Jamie's Ministry of Food lasagne - and now i've got to the end and you have!! its a great place to start because it looks and tastes great but there's no faffing with making white sauce! I also use that recipe now for making my bolognese sauce even when i dont make the lasagne. I swap the tinned tomatoes for passatta tho - think its too runny otherwise.

Well done you for getting started - I'm not a great/adventurous cook but think once you get 5 or 6 basic meals under your belt you'll feel much better!

Just wanted to say - you shouldn't feel bad about the slow-cooker recipes not working out. We eat all types of food and I love to cook, but in the last couple of years the few things we've been disappointed with have been slow cooker efforts. I wouldn't recommend it as a good place to start.

We move to Dubai at the end of this week. I hope to find some cookery demo's to attend - was figuring that some of the more famous hotel restaurants must offer them. Sometimes their menus are complicated, but they often have simple ideas which are really helpful in everyday cooking, and I go away inspired about food all over again.

Another great resource is the video demos on BBC Food (think they are called Get Cooking?). They are just a few minutes each and fit nicely into a baby's feeding time, for example. I particularly remember the bechemel sauce one, it changed the way I make sauce forever, never had a lumpy sauce since :)

Anna

What you really need are simple, easy recipes which don't take hours on end....

Now Delia has some kind of a death wish on that front, because despite claiming that she is idiot-proof, the amount of faffing and measuring of things involved creates the biggest mountain of washing up you have ever seen!! And it's all nicey nice and mumsy until you read the actual recipes and it vaguely threatens you with disaster should you not weigh the cheese you are about to sprinkle over a dish. Throw her out for a start.

Jamie Oliver is pretty robust for ingredients actually - I often substitute or guess-timate things in his recipes and it usually turns out out. This I believe is the mark of a good cookbook!

Start small: Vegetable soup. Fry onions in some oil in a big pan, cut up some carrots, swede, potato, parsnip, anything else you have lying around in the fridge to similar sizes and fry for 5 mins making sure it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pot. Add chicken stock. If you are really lazy as I am, sprinkle the stock cubes over the veggies and then drown in boiling water from the kettle. Season to taste. Put the lid on and simmer for 30 mins-an hour. Blitz using handheld blende.

Rissotto is v easy. As is fish pie (I never actually bother to cook the fish before chucking it in the pot, covering with white sauce and spreading mashed potato on top).

Surely being in Dubai there is v little cooking needing done anyway? Can you not get away with lots of salads???

I learned most of my cookery basics from a studenty cookbook entitled Meals in Moments. They are all fairly easy, using ingredients which are easy to find, and none of them are particularly expensive to make, but very tasty for minimal effort. No poncey, faffing around recipes. Even DH can make the recipes - foolproof! here

When I was a student I used a book called Grub on a Grant. The reason I suggest it here is because it was cheap (you mentioned food costs), really simple and gave some good short cuts as well as basically being aimed at people who can't cook, but still want to eat! I still use it tbh.

Same thoughts, two little monkeys!

My tip is: Always remember to cook your onions down properly. They need a good ten minutes or so to get soft and "see through" or else you get that raw-onion effect in the finished dish. The same does NOT go for minced garlic; it only needs a minute or two otherwise it gets bitter and scorched.

Ditto the thoughts on the slow cooker; I've never had any luck with this type of cooking. I think you need to master the basics before using a slow cooker.

It's fun to peruse cookbooks. Get some from the library and dig in; they will inspire and educate simultaneously.

If your current book doesn't work out, this is a good basic, it's also Good Housekeeping, nice and simple, lots of pics for all the steps.

Also, I have learnt loads from the telly! Try and watch some food programmes if you can, you will pick up loads of tips and techniques and it's good because you can actually see what the food should look like at each stage of cooking.

I have loads of recipe books but actually most of them I don't cook from, LOL. One book I have tried a few recipes from and they've all been simple and turned out well is this one by Ainsley Harriott.

Most of the recipes I try are supermarket ones, check out Asda and Sainsbury's websites. Not sure if Tesco have recipes online too, I usually get them from the in-store mag. These are nearly always pretty simple.

And don't feel bad about the slow cooker meal not working out for you, it's taken me many attempts to get a decent stew out of it. Make sure you use a tough cut like shin or stewing beef, use very little liquid too, and make sure you have lots of flavouring like stock cube, dried herbs, tom puree, worcestershire sauce etc. Chin up.

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my dh bought himself [[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beginners-Cookbook-Usborne-Cookbooks-Fiona/dp/0746085389/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1298456040&sr=1-1 this book] to gain more confidence in the kitchen and I think it's great for beginners, lots of pics of how things should look at what stage. I think it's aimed at children but it's got good basics in as well as some cakes and biscuits.

Sounds like you are doing really well now!

oh bum linky fail this book

Good advice and recommendations, but I just wanted to say that I'm an experienced and reasonably good cook and can do a lot of things, but slow cooker stews and casseroles - though they're supposed to be easy - often turn out a bit strange for me as well.

My standbys are often tomato-sauce based, just a basic sauce with chopped onions cooked slowly in a bit of oil for a few minutes, tin of chopped tomatoes, sprinkle of herbs and simmer for a bit. Then you can combine with cooked mince to make spag bol, cottage pie or shepherd's pie, lasagne etc., or with lentils and sausages for a stew, or various veg for a pasta sauce and so on.

Also cooking chicken and fish in foil parcels with various herbs or spices, lemon juice, bit of oil and white wine etc. is very easy.

In case no-one's said this before, one really important thing to do as you're learning is to keep tasting. It's easy to follow all the instruction but forget to taste until the end, and then wonder what's gone wrong.

You can also 'correct' flavours that have gone wrong, to an extent. For example:

• Overdone the salt in a stew - add more veg, tomato, potato etc
• Too sour - add a bit of sugar or honey
• Too much chili - add yoghurt
• Tastes a bit bland - add a teeny bit more salt, chili, lemon juice, garlic as appropriate
• You often don't need more salt, but just a bit more acid - keep some vinegar or lemon juice (bottled or fresh, whatever you can get hold of) for this

IMO, unless it's burned or you've done something bonkers like add half a pound of cloves to a pound of mince, most stews and simple dishes can be rescued.

Good luck!