I'm definitely off, Won't namechange, just going to go.

[Fenton]

Not attention seeking, just thought I'd clear off in the proper way,

I've had some amazing things happen since I've been here, good solid friends, life changing things , which I will always be grateful for.

I don't think I'm sensitive flower, I've always been more concerned about upsetting other people than worried for my own feelings.

Having my opinions and viewpoints pulled apart or mocked I can withstand, but to be belittled by people I feel I have chatted over sometime now actually hurts my feelings, - so, after sobbing into my cocoa for the past hour I know it's time to go.

It's surprising the things that finally make you flounce, innit?

pickles if it helps, I had a fucker same size of a cherry tomato. Burst it. Bled for three days but the relief was huuuge. I can even sleep! So....try anging your botty on a door jamb!

Because I'm not due til the end of May but am the size of a manatee! I have nightmare visions of having to haul my belly around in a wheelbarrow.

Oh I'm tempted how did you burst it?

Did it hurt?

I was huge cheerful now I've gone really small. You might have a tiddler floating around in there!

No, i leapt up go answer the phone and bashed it sgainst the door jamb. I felt sick when i realised what id done but the pain was OVER!

All ye who need piles advice: you could do no better than consulting our own dear Rhubarb on this very thread. For she was suffering greatly on the very Christmas night alluded to within.

Is that not so Rhubs?

I have absolutely no idea what's going on... I barely do when it's laid out in bullet points

But Fenton I'm sorry you have been hurt by someone (or several someones) as you certainly don't deserve it.

Come back soon - I'll miss you. Real Life isn't half as much fun of an evening as this place, you'll soon get fed up of it It really isn't smoke and mirrors you know, the vast majority of people are real, post real things and from the heart - the percentage of trolls, twats and other avoidables isn't that great, it just feels like it sometimes.

Take care, have fun & come back soon!
x

Rhubarb - I had no idea you'd been through all that - sorry to hear it. But I'm pleased you have had such a lot of help as well.

Christmas piles? A cruel blow

What was even crueller was that in normal times our Christmas pile suffering colleague would have had shed loads of sympathy and attention. As it happens, her plight was a tiny bit overshadowed.

Am in bed with a hot toddy and some pork scratchings (classy)

Did I hear my name being mentioned in association with piles?

'Tis true. I was suffering greatly that infamous Christmas with the variety of grape that you really don't want to eat. I was in agony. Couldn't sit down hardly and was contemplating a Christmas of standing around wincing and grimacing.

Did I get advice on my affliction? Did I hell! Mumsnet was far too preoccupied with some bloody posters stealing all the attention by creating some secret forum where they could presumably talk about their own piles in complete confidence.

Eventually I elected for some DIY remedies. I can wholly recommend shoving ice cubes up your derriere and spending time sitting on frozen peas. Also drink loads as you really really don't want to get constipation either.

Yes the ice cubes will hurt but not as much as trying to shit the Christmas pud out through a bunch of grapes.

After a couple of days, all should be well.

If you need any more advice, PM me and I'll discuss my charges with you

(I reckon Fenton now takes the record for the longest running flounce. You are very welcome Fenton )

I have always heard that rhubarb was just the thing to prevent piles as it keeps things in transit nicely. Feeling let down now.

I missed you, t'other Katie

Aw I missed you too