Teen depression - dragged you down.

[Flyhigher]

My teen is now stressed.
She was quite depressed for a bit. Especially in lockdown.

I think her depression dragged me down.

And I've not recovered. I've also had menopause etc etc.

But has anyone else been dragged down by a teen depression?

[mildlyfried]

I can understand and empathise Flyhigher. My daughter seems to be constantly moving between anxiety and low mood. It's almost like she has accepted this is her life now and doesn't do any self-help techniques. She has tried medication on and off too. Its hard to watch and help when her lifestyle really doesn't help. It's very frustrating seeing her up all night then sleeping all day knowing full well this causes her low mood because of isolation. It especially hard too as it has gone on for years and I wonder if this is just a 'way of life' for her. She can't or won't change and that is hard for me to live with. Take care of yourself, do nice things, try distraction..I feel your pain.

[Rainbowzebras]

No advice but I hear you. It’s really tough. I’ve got a teen with anxiety and depression. She is also lovely but it is so hard finding the strength to keep going, be the rock etc when supporting her mental health takes so much out of me. I’m a lone parent working full time trying to juggle everything and I often feel like I’m failing everyone (including me). I try and take care of myself whenever I can but it is hard. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom I could share but in the absence of those you have my empathy and sympathy

[Taylormiffed]

Yes. I think the saying, "you are only as happy as your unhappiest child" is very true.

[CognitiveBehaviouralHypnotherapy]

Ah OP that is very hard. So hard to keep up the good energy when others are drifting down.

Would you like to focus on you..for example are you speaking to your GP about this?

[WarningOfGails]

I have been taken aback by how much my teen’s troubles have impacted on me. I am actually seeing a counsellor this week about it! I need to be able to care without being consumed…

[Telomeres]

Totally hear this.

I've started counselling, it's just turned everything upside down for me and I don't know how to get normal or happy ever again.

[Flyhigher]

Glad it's not just me! Sad others are suffering too.

What I will say is that I wish I'd worried less about her having sex and getting pregnant. Mind you it was hard.

[Flyhigher]

@WarningOfGails

I have been taken aback by how much my teen’s troubles have impacted on me. I am actually seeing a counsellor this week about it! I need to be able to care without being consumed…

Definitely!!

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

Exhausted with it. Just exhausted.

She feels better talking about it all to me. It makes me feel worse. Every day…… every day.

[headache]

i can relate to a lot of @Rainbowzebras and @mildlyfried post I have a teenage DD diagnosed with severe anxiety, depression, agoraphobia and now OCD. It’s been quite a few years now and it is so emotionally draining worrying about her all the time when my own MH isn’t the best. It’s difficult to live with someone with OCD to see how much it consumes their thoughts. She used to be such a lovely, happy little thing and it breaks my heart to see her suffering now when she should be out having the best years of her life. She’s scared to go to the corner shop. She has a whole team of health professionals around her now but it doesn’t seem to be helping

[Telomeres]

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Exhausted with it. Just exhausted.

She feels better talking about it all to me. It makes me feel worse. Every day…… every day.

Mine only wants to talk at midnight.

Everything feels v hard today.

[ArseInTheCoOpWindow]

@Telomeres

Mine only wants to talk at midnight.

Everything feels v hard today.

Mine likes to talk at 11.

I can’t sleep after. It’s so crap.

[Taylormiffed]

Mine has never spoken to me. She won't speak to a counsellor either, I've tried five and she refuses.
All I hope is that a switch suddenly goes in her mind and she can ask for help one day.

[PickledPolly]

Yes OP I can relate. It’s so very stressful and the weight upon my shoulders felt so heavy to carry. I’m practically full time and always knackered.
Im pleased I’m not the only one.

[HeartandSeoul]

I can relate to so many of you, although most of you (if not all) of you seem to have it a lot harder than myself.

My 15yr suffers with anxiety and feeling low in mood, to the point in which she no longer attends school. I find myself grieving in many ways, which probably sounds strange, but I grieve for the child she was (seemed happy/had friends etc), and the teenager that she isn’t. Her teenage years have been controlled by anxiety, and it felt as if we ‘lost’ her in some ways, but I try to focus on who she is now, and the many beautiful positives we now see (her sense of humour being one).

I hate anxiety and depression with a passion (who doesn’t?). It’s corrupted my life (I was diagnosed many years ago), and now my daughter’s life. Days out can be either a happy occasion or very stressful, and I’m always on high alert to things that may trigger her. I fear for her future, and worry about her most days, but, as parents, we can only try our best to help our children, but it’s tough.

(Sorry, I appear to have gone ‘off on one’ there 😬, but it felt good to offload 😊).

[Mayflower282]

Have you tried her with an art therapist?

[Telomeres]

@HeartandSeoul

I can relate to so many of you, although most of you (if not all) of you seem to have it a lot harder than myself.

My 15yr suffers with anxiety and feeling low in mood, to the point in which she no longer attends school. I find myself grieving in many ways, which probably sounds strange, but I grieve for the child she was (seemed happy/had friends etc), and the teenager that she isn’t. Her teenage years have been controlled by anxiety, and it felt as if we ‘lost’ her in some ways, but I try to focus on who she is now, and the many beautiful positives we now see (her sense of humour being one).

I hate anxiety and depression with a passion (who doesn’t?). It’s corrupted my life (I was diagnosed many years ago), and now my daughter’s life. Days out can be either a happy occasion or very stressful, and I’m always on high alert to things that may trigger her. I fear for her future, and worry about her most days, but, as parents, we can only try our best to help our children, but it’s tough.

(Sorry, I appear to have gone ‘off on one’ there 😬, but it felt good to offload 😊).

Could have written this. My heart breaks for the tiny life she's leading.

[Allthecatseverywhereallatonce]

@Telomeres you have described my teen too. It is awful, I understand the grieving that someone up thread mentioned.
I do however, feel I have it slightly easier than some, in that my dd will engage with counselling but getting her into school is a big stress. I work full time so am not always around to get her into school. My dd is taking GCSES this year so only really a matter of weeks left. I just don't know how we will get there.

I am lucky if dd attends school for 3 days a week at the moment.

I do think that teens (14 +) have really been affected by covid. I wonder if they will ever recover?

[Telomeres]

Mine has barely been for about a year. She did 8 days in February and I got way too optimistic and she hasn't been since.

On a personal level the claustrophobia is killing me. If I'm working at home she's at home, she 50% of the time sleeps in my bed or asks me to sleep in hers. I love her beyond measure but my god, it's like having a toddler for years on end, with much much bigger worries.

[Taylormiffed]

heart my dd doesn't attend school either. She has no life as she's at home all the time. I'm grieving for the life she should have.

[HeartandSeoul]

Allthecatseverywhereallatonce

I do think that teens (14 +) have really been affected by covid. I wonder if they will ever recover?

I blame the pandemic for triggering my daughter’s anxiety also, and I think the full impact of it on our children’s mental health is only now truly being seen. I believe she ‘managed’ to deal with her anxieties beforehand (whilst masking them from us), but the pandemic was the trigger for her mental health decline.

My dd was in yr7 when Covid hit, and we were told that they (the school support team) were seeing the biggest rise in mental health problems with her year group, and it was recognised nationally. It’s so, so sad.

[HeartandSeoul]

@Taylormiffed

heart my dd doesn't attend school either. She has no life as she's at home all the time. I'm grieving for the life she should have.

It’s so sad to see this happen to our children😞. As a parent, you feel so helpless.

[headache]

I totally agree re the covid thing my DD was in the middle of her Nat 5s (GCSEs) when the whole thing started, these were cancelled then she went back for her Higher year to a very different school, she didn’t sit Higher exam either these were also decided by the teachers. She totally fell apart and didn’t go back to school after Christmas of her 6th year. So she has never sat a formal exam. DD2 is a year younger and it also really affected her albeit to a lesser extent, she ended up leaving school a year early and going to college.

Now my DD1 is almost 20 and she worries that she is always going to be like this and never be better. It breaks my heart.

[Telomeres]

I'm having one of those days where I just don't get it.

She's fine all weekend, happy as Larry in fact, went in town with friends, came out for a walk at the beach etc.

Monday? Miserable. Can't possibly go to school. My anxiety.

Are we actually just being taken for a ride, if not completely at least partially, I mean it's dairy obvious that she can get away with not going.

[Flyhigher]

I think social media is just causing havoc.
Teens was hard enough.
Now it's a hellhole for girls especially.