Please tell me recovery stories

[BluBurd]

I have spent most of the day crying my eyes out. I have depression and anxiety and currently on my 9th day of sertraline. I have never had depression before and this is very deep, it consumes me and I can't think about anything else.

Everyone keeps telling me I will get better, I will be okay. The tablets will help. It's been six weeks since the depression and anxiety began and I am struggling to even think about having to do another day.

Please can you give me some hope, some reassurance, something for me to hold on to.

[cupcake78]

I had a bad breakdown jan 2011. Suicidal thoughts, couldn't get out of bed, 10 panic attacks a day. I struggled to dress, eat, wash etc.

I was on sertraline for about a year, got counselling and had a plan for each day which I tried to follow through. The start of was to get washed and dressed each morning and get ds to school.

It takes time and a lot of effort but slowly slowly I began to get better.

I am now off all meds. Had a baby last year, got PND unsurprisingly and about to move house in weeks. I am better .

I never thought it would happen. I was so ill, really ill. I am surprised I made it through but I did. I walked each day, I ate well, I cut out all alcohol, I made sure I got as much sunshine as possible .

Op it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It's harder than having two dc to look after, it's harder than running a marathon. I understand how impossible it feels. I was there not so very long ago and yet here I am. Healthy, mentally well and able to cope with very stressful situations with no meds. I couldn't have done it without the help of my gp and a couple of good friends which I am so grateful for. The cake fairy visits these people unannounced often, it's the only way I can say thank you to them.

Keep going op I promise it gets better.

[BluBurd]

Thank you for the stories, they give me hope. Cupcake, I have never been through anything like this in my life, it really is the hardest thing.

I have an upset stomach from the tablets and a head twitch or jerk, almost like Tourette's. But other than that I'm okay. The first few days my anxiety and depression intensified to the point I could barely move.

[mawbroon]

I have had 2 psychotic episodes and they were both followed by post psychotic depression. The first episode was not too bad, but the second one was really severe with suicidal thinking which was really upsetting.

My psychiatrist changed my anti psychotic meds and upped the dose of antidepressants about a year ago and here I am leading a normal life, slowly losing the weight that the drugs made me gain (3 stones) and about to start a part time job doing something I love doing that fits in perfectly with family life.

Normality seems so far away looking at it from the depths of depression. I was in denial about my illness for a long time, but as I started to feel better on the new meds, I came to accept that it was an illness and that I would get better.

[Blueberryshot]

I have anxiety and received CBT when I was pregnant. I really should continue because I did find it quite helpful and still experience low-level but permanent anxiety because I haven't practiced CBT in a while.

I wanted to say a couple of things but please ignore them if they don't feel right to you.

I have found that whenever I feel anxious (especially due to self esteem issues) I tend to do something in an attempt to make it go away. For example, I text somebody, to get reassurance that I am liked. But this always, without a fail, backfires and I feel even worse because the person didn't text back right away or didn't say the 'right thing'. Even if I were to bake brownies just to make me feel better as was suggested above I will end up with self loathing because they didn't turn out right/perfect etc.

So I try not to act on my impulse to do something to make me feel better but just try and accept that this is how I feel right now. It's unpleasant but it does go away after a few minutes. And this often results in me not feeling quite as worked up about things...... Not sure if this makes any sense at all or is even transferable to someone else's situation.

It's really good that you have a crisis team, I am sure they will help you overcome this. Try not to be too hard on yourself!

[BluBurd]

Where can I find mindfulness course please? I am glad you have found peace x

[BluBurd]

I am in the acute phase but I need to feel like I am doing something. I have paid for a course online and just did my first mindful eating. Very interesting experience and I can already see how it will help with anxiety and depression.

[Katgrant30]

Hey there - I wrote my recovery story on Sane's website here:
www.sane.org.uk/how_you_can_help/blogging/show_blog/592

I had postpartum psychosis, a pretty devastating illness which meant my son and I were hospitalised for 3 months.

But I recovered! And my son is just amazing. :)

Love Kat x