Being an older mum, any regrets?

[SammiePocket]

After a misscarriage, multiple years of infertility and 2 more misscarriages, it's looking highly likely I won't be a mum until after I'm 35. We're hoping testing and the marvels of science help us conceive and keep a baby. (I'm 35 currently for reference) but as it stands I'll be deemed an older mum by the time it does hopefully happen.

For those of you who have had Children 35+ do you have any regrets? Any pros or major cons? I'm desperate to be a mum, but worry about the impact of having a child so late on (if we manage to have one that is) 😔 any reassurance would be greatly appreciated. Feeling very low atm. Thank you x

This is what I would have said! I had mine at 30 and 32, my kids are now in the middle of primary school but most of our friends have toddlers and preschoolers and some are just getting started now!

I think it all works out whenever you have them. I couldn’t imagine having babies now,
at 40, but that’s because I already did that, have already had the years of sleep deprivation and nappies, not because a 40 yo couldn’t do it. It’s the people who go back for a second round of kids when the first lot are nearly grown that blow my mind.

38 had a single 39 had a single and 40 had twins and now I'm 41 busy life but loving it

Had DD when i was 42, she’s 16 now and im constantly knackered , dont regret it though

I started at 36. My issue now is that mine are following in my footsteps so I don't have any Grandchildren yet. I can see how we are going to get generations who are never grandparents or never know their Grandparents.

I was 10 years older than my sister when I had mine due to fertility issues and about the same older than when my mum and me. There isn’t anything I can do to change it but these are my regrets but honestly there is no point in dwelling on them as they can’t be changed

1 grandparents are older - they have a very close relationship with my sisters children as were young enough to be very active with them and they are late teens now so old enough to travel with them alone. My parents whilst still active don’t have the energy for very young children and don’t do the activities they want to do with them
2 grandparents are older - my sisters children will most likely have my parents at big life events like graduation and weddings whilst mine won’t
3 I’ll be an older grandparent - the cycle will be repeated when it comes to my children hopefully having children one day
4 my career is high pressures as I’m more senior now than I was 10 years ago and juggling children with career is difficult
5 my parents were still in their 40s and were childfree as if gone to uni at 18 and they were young enough to enjoy a great lifestyle - I’ll have children at home well into my 50s!
6 I would have liked to have had more children

There are some amazing positive stories on this post thank you all so much for sharing them with me.

The realistic view points echo my own worries, my parents are getting on and I do worry about them missing out or not being around to know any children I'm able to have but I can't change that, i lost my grandparents early and whilst its sad i know lots of stories as my parents kept their memories alive for me, and I would do the same if it happens. I also look relatively young for my age so hopefully I won't get mistaken for being the grandma but if I do, so be it, there are worse things I guess. And I really would cherish every minute with them even if it's not as long as I'd hoped to get.

Thank you all so so much you've really lifted the dark cloud. I was feeling like I might as well pack in trying amd that time had run out for me, but I realise now I've still got plenty of time (body limits permitting). Thank you all ❤️

No regrets. I had my 3rd DC at 39. I was quite tired until they got older because I had some issues with my older DC but now it is fine.

I am fit and healthy in my early 50s and very pleased with my decision to have my third late. You will be fine with just one at this age OP.

As PP mentioned I sometimes feel wistful about my DC not getting as much time as my other DC but my DM died when I was 10 years old so they have already had longer with me.

All the best, OP.

I had my gorgeous girl aged 40 and she’s 12 now. Benefits are that I’m way more patient, wiser and emotionally stable than I was when I was younger. I’d have been a rubbish mum if I’d have had her when I was younger. I’m also financially secure and can fully commit to parenting her as a single mum, without wanting to be out and about all the time. It worked out really well for us. I think a lot of it is about mindset. You need to play the cards you are dealt and 35 is not old by today’s standards, not even close!

Totally agree with this. I had a surprise later in life and all of the above are what I think about

35 is a completely normal age to have a baby. I’m always a bit surprised when I hear of people much younger being pregnant. I had my last at 36 and it was totally fine. I didn’t feel even slightly old. Thinking about my close friends they had babies at 38, 40, 40, 39, 38. I think my sister might be the youngest person I know to have had a final baby and she was 35. Oh I was older, who knew, it’s that irrelevant.

Had my DD at 42, so having a baby in your 30s seems young to me! No regrets for me. Life just panned out the way it did and that’s the way it is! I’m nearly 60 now and don’t feel any more tired than any other mum. I’m happy with how it’s all turned out. DD is amazing.

Had both mine in my forties. I am now early sixties and youngest is 18.
Pros - I love having teens even at my age, it’s a lot of fun. I like being around young people.
Cons- the younger you have a baby, the more time you get with them, so I will have less time than if I’d been lucky and had a baby in my twenties. (It wasn’t my choice to have them so late, but they are the light of my life).