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Family planning

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Christian's on birth control?

79 replies

beansprout55 · 28/09/2022 19:19

Just curious as to what birth control you fellow Christian's deem acceptable?

Touchy topic. Mixed advice online and an embarrassing topic to ask church leaders.
We gave birth to our first 3 months ago so obviously I'm not keen on getting pregnant for at least another year, but I'm stuck on what method to use.
My periods have always been irregular so natural planning would be hard. Condoms are such a mood killer and due to birthing injuries I can't feel much when DH wears one, but it seems like they might be our only option.

There seems to be lots of talk about the pill and IUD causing abortions therefore I'm hesitant to use either without advice and prayer.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
AriettyHomily · 29/09/2022 16:44

'We gave birth'??

How did we manage that then?!

BuildersTeaMaker · 29/09/2022 16:49

When last I read the gospels Jesus made no mention whatsoever about women’s fertility and foetal development and that includes abortion, miscarriage..mind you, he did cure a women with severe menorrhagia, which may have been an opportunity for him to bring it up if it was something he felt he needed to teach people on.

What I do know was that Jesus was a Jew, he considered himself to be Hebrew as were his parents

and the Hebrew text are lacking much information on this issue either. What there is clearly designates a feotus life to be worth less than that of a women, and that a feotus is not a life till it is born

christian doctrine is a consequence of much editing by men for political purposes (small p), and that included, amoungst other things, a specific mission to remove women from positions of power and authority in the early Christian church. Read up about Constantine, etc. not dissimilar tactics to how women are still being subjugated in countries like Iran, Afghanistan etc- invent a new branch with its own doctrine and call everyone else a heretic. Similar reasoning why catholic teaching decided priests had to be seen as celibate (and we all know they’ve never been)- it was to stop married priests wealth passing to his widow and children after the priest death and instead bring all the priests, or even wealthy nuns, money into the church and keep it there

I do consider myself to be a Christian, but I guess I have some heretical views on some parts of the bible and almost all of doctrine taught by the more rights wing/ high church/ catholic and evangelical churches. What these churches impose on women and families has NO foundation or evidence of being what Christ would have preached.

The Christ I believe in, was pretty unusually compassionate for his time and broad minded towards women given evidence from the gospels . I’d like to think he said nothing about it because he had the sense to know that live adult humans and live children must come before a feotus that can’t survive outside the womb, and he had experience of seeing the damage it would do to women, children and families to go down the route of defining it as a sin….remember his own mother became pregnant with him out of wedlock. Come to that he was pretty scathing about the sheer pointlessness of trying to follow any laws /rules ( eg 10 commandments) as a path to reconciliation with god, other than “love one another as I have loved you”

BuildersTeaMaker · 29/09/2022 16:50

beansprout55 · 28/09/2022 19:19

Just curious as to what birth control you fellow Christian's deem acceptable?

Touchy topic. Mixed advice online and an embarrassing topic to ask church leaders.
We gave birth to our first 3 months ago so obviously I'm not keen on getting pregnant for at least another year, but I'm stuck on what method to use.
My periods have always been irregular so natural planning would be hard. Condoms are such a mood killer and due to birthing injuries I can't feel much when DH wears one, but it seems like they might be our only option.

There seems to be lots of talk about the pill and IUD causing abortions therefore I'm hesitant to use either without advice and prayer.

Thoughts?

Which bit of the importance of free will did you miss in your Christian education?

MintJulia · 29/09/2022 16:51

Any and all. We live in an over-populated world and having very large families isn't good for anyone.

So whatever works reliably for you, and fits in with your lifestyle.

Bundlebungle · 29/09/2022 17:02

Well said @BuildersTeaMaker. It took me a lot of years to come to a similar conclusion.

BuildersTeaMaker · 29/09/2022 17:05

TwoWeeksislong · 29/09/2022 15:14

The thing is OP, there are an enormous number of women in the world who consider themselves Christian but who have no problem using contraception, and lots who feel it’s not perfect but much better than dealing with more pregnancies or children than they can manage. Being this strict about ´life begins at fertilisation’ is pretty rare.

Life beginning at fertilisation is a very new doctrine form USA
ever heard of the phrase form New Testament “from thence he will come to judge the quick and the dead”.
the “quick” is old English translation of Latin phrase meaning “quickening” which is point feels movements are first felt during gestation.
so clearly even at it most hard line, a feotus wasn’t consider a life (eg not worthy to be judged) until at least 18, and up to 24 weeks gestation .
funny that ! Isn’t that where abortion limit is exactly..hmm I wonder why 🤦‍♀️

Scaevola · 29/09/2022 17:16

Quick in that context means 'living'

Quickening is a pregnancy term from before the days of pregnancy tests and scans, and simply meant that there was a living child in there.

That life in utero is sacred has been a teaching of the RC church since the Teaching of the Twelve Apostles (the oldest known catechism, dating from the 1st century AD)

It has remained in RC catechisms ever since. It's definitely not a new concept

SammyScrounge · 29/09/2022 17:38

Cornisharchitect8 · 29/09/2022 16:40

Ewww! Just like how evangelicals bring purity culture to the UK.

Fuckwits

Evangelicals appear to be targeting Scotland. They oppose the Scottish government's proposal to introduce buffer zones outside women's clinics which provide abortion services. The intention of the government is to prevent the bullying and intimidation which patients are subjected to by religious and other fanatics.
The American group say that they will take the government to court to prevent the installation of these zones . Yes,foreigners say they'll sue us to force us to be like them. Their group (40 Days For Life) was founded in Texas and they are very hard-line.
The OP's confusion over contraceptive types is very strange thinking in Scotland. Few would see contraception as a moral issue at all.

horseymum · 29/09/2022 17:42

The Christian institute website used to have a publication about contraception, it's probably still there. I think there is nothing wrong with holding your own view on what you are prepared to use and you shouldn't be ridiculed for not wanting to use products that don't seem right. I wouldn't have wanted to use most methods here due to it not being totally clear how some act on a fertilized egg, so stuck to condoms, then the snip for dh. I also don't think your average pastor would have much understanding so it's not a case of not being able to ask, just that it is not often preached about due to lack of knowledge. People are right to say not all christians believe the same but some of us do believe in things like no sex before marriage etc, we just don't shout about it, nor force our views on others.

red4321 · 29/09/2022 17:49

My parents are Christian (C of E) and I've sat through many sermons and Sunday School lessons. I've never heard any criticism of any form of contraception.

Abortion would be a more contentious topic.

red4321 · 29/09/2022 17:51

As in the medical procedure to actively terminate a pregnant, not that a form of contraception that could theoretically be deemed to be in that category.

Meant politely, but I think you might be worrying too much and any form of contraception would be fine.

poweredbysteam · 29/09/2022 18:32

horseymum · 29/09/2022 17:42

The Christian institute website used to have a publication about contraception, it's probably still there. I think there is nothing wrong with holding your own view on what you are prepared to use and you shouldn't be ridiculed for not wanting to use products that don't seem right. I wouldn't have wanted to use most methods here due to it not being totally clear how some act on a fertilized egg, so stuck to condoms, then the snip for dh. I also don't think your average pastor would have much understanding so it's not a case of not being able to ask, just that it is not often preached about due to lack of knowledge. People are right to say not all christians believe the same but some of us do believe in things like no sex before marriage etc, we just don't shout about it, nor force our views on others.

The Christian Institute definitely try to force their views on others.

BourbonBiscuits20 · 29/09/2022 18:41

Wow a lot of these comments are so ignorant. Of course it's possible to hold the belief life starts at conception-at this point a totally unique new set of DNA is created. Of course God also cares about life.
OP I had a lot of concerns with this myself and was on the combined pill in the past on the understanding that it prevented ovulation. From talking to medical professionals I am unclear whether it is really possible to ovulate or not which didn't sit well with me. I would still consider this option but none of the others that just don't allow implantation. We've just used condoms for a long time and happy with that, don't know if I'll ever go back in anything hormonal.
Hope you are able to get some real life Godly advice on this and you and your husband feel happy with the decision you come to.

isittheholidaysyet · 29/09/2022 18:45

If you are a Christian, then you should be praying about and seeking God's will for your family life. We trust and involve him in all other decisions in our lives, finances, careers, relationships etc.
Some Christians seem to think that that trust doesn't stretch to giving God our fertility.
Remember Children are always seen as a blessing from the Lord,but that doesn't mean you have to have an endless stream (or even one) of them.
If you are protestant, then using contraception is acceptable, but make sure you have thought through your beliefs on abortion and when life starts, but also your theology of marriage and how sex fits into that.
Many PPs have given specific advice about contraception, and are more knowledgeable than me, so I will not comment on that bit.

Just don't forget to pray about it.

holidaynightmare · 29/09/2022 20:06

It's 2022 not 1922 and there are numerous contraception options and if you don't want to get pregnant you need to take precautions not worry about some nonsense theory about not being able to do so!!!

What planet are these people on???

Paigeycakey · 29/09/2022 20:15

Cornisharchitect8 · 29/09/2022 16:21

From Christian to Christian, you need to read and apply science. And logic and common sense 😊

Best comment 🤣

thankyouforthesun · 29/09/2022 20:27

I am Roman Catholic and pro life. I used to use nuva ring which is like combined pill in that it prevents ovulation, so there's no fertilised egg to prevent implanting.
Now I'm on medication which is incompatible with that so I use combined pill to prevent ovulation and mirena as failsafe. The medication I'm on would cause birth defects and I have already got children who would suffer. I wouldn't take the morning after pill or have an abortion so I need to be secure that my contraception is working.
I spent long enough tracking ovulation to know signs of ovulation so I don't have sex or use a condom if I have any slight suspicion I may possibly have ovulated.
It's not perfect, nothing is, but it's the best I can do.

pompei8309 · 29/09/2022 22:12

Girl lay off that bible and educate yourself, you have access to information, no need to ask any vicars and church leaders about what’s good for you and your body, it’s 21st century

holidaynightmare · 30/09/2022 18:49

thankyouforthesun · 29/09/2022 20:27

I am Roman Catholic and pro life. I used to use nuva ring which is like combined pill in that it prevents ovulation, so there's no fertilised egg to prevent implanting.
Now I'm on medication which is incompatible with that so I use combined pill to prevent ovulation and mirena as failsafe. The medication I'm on would cause birth defects and I have already got children who would suffer. I wouldn't take the morning after pill or have an abortion so I need to be secure that my contraception is working.
I spent long enough tracking ovulation to know signs of ovulation so I don't have sex or use a condom if I have any slight suspicion I may possibly have ovulated.
It's not perfect, nothing is, but it's the best I can do.

So if your contraception fails you wouldn't have a termination or the morning after pill
Your preference would be a child with birth defects
Totally batshit nonsense

Xenia · 30/09/2022 20:29

The other issue is those religions who think not having a baby you could have had is also wrong (separately from contraception or even abstaining from sex to ensure no children are born is wrong). These tend to be relatively obscure religions.

NZ Also US quiverful movement, never mind some groups, arguably not Christian as mormon, like the US Kingston Group and FLDS etc.
theydontspeakforus · 30/09/2022 20:43

People that use the word "abortion" instead of "miscarriage" with regards to a pregnancy ending with a fetal death don't deserve a place in any type of batshit paradise, just FYI.

Just shows you have no idea what pregnancy loss can do to someone.

Also - Christian doctors? Just "Doctor", should be fine. Any doctor putting their religious view before their medical one has broken their oath and should not be practising medicine.

jumperoozles · 05/10/2022 09:42

Yes sorry OP I do think it’s strange to ask what all Christian’s would do. As other people have pointed out there are many different denominations with different views. Here you go then as a fellow Christian here’s my view point:

The pill will not cause abortion, I don’t believe any contraceptive that stops implantation causes abortion. God wants woman to have a choice. Choose a contraceptive that best suits you. Hope that helps with a Christian viewpoint.

averageavocado · 05/10/2022 09:49

What type of Christian are you?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_views_on_birth_control

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 05/10/2022 09:51

PurBal · 29/09/2022 15:14

Use whatever contraception you feel comfortable with. As a Christian, my contraceptive decisions consider my health (physical and mental) above faith. I believe in a gracious God, not a wrathful one.

Halleluia to this.

SchrodingersUnicorn · 05/10/2022 10:00

pompei8309 · 29/09/2022 22:12

Girl lay off that bible and educate yourself, you have access to information, no need to ask any vicars and church leaders about what’s good for you and your body, it’s 21st century

What she is saying isn't in the Bible. And isn't what vicars (ie Anglicans) would say either! Maybe she should head to the Bible or a parish vicar instead of fundamentalist Christian websites, she would get a much more sensible answer.

OP, this just isn't an issue in any mainstream Christian churches except RC who officially say rhythm method only (unless needed for medical reasons eg one partner has AIDS) although lots of individual RCs choose to use contraception.
All the mainstream Protestant denominations are fine with contraception and you choose the method that works best for you.
It sounds like your church is very fringe and fundamentalist (American influenced church plant?), so asking other Christians on mumsnet won't get you far because it's very unlikely to be an issue for us.

In the UK, Christian doctors use exactly the same prescribing guidelines as other doctors. They don't refuse to prescribe one type of pill, not least because there is nothing in any mainstream Christian denomination about that. They are allowed to refuse to be involved in abortion if they are pro life but have to remain professional and refer to a colleague.