Anyone fancy helping dh and I to make contraception decision?

[Indith]

Dh went to the GP to talk about getting the snip today however, after talking it over with her and discussing the prostate cancer risks he is against it which is fine by me.

But what do we do now?

I have had issues in the past with the pill. Rational brain knows that different pills suit different people and that all hormonal contraceptives are not the same but I worry a lot about it. I went pretty loopy on the pill but it was so gradual and I hate the thought of getting the implant or mirena or something and maybe being ok for 6 months, then maybe going downhill but not putting 2 and 2 together so then maybe spending a year or so getting mroe and more crazy unitl I finally realise. It makes me stressed just thinking about it. Plus I'm about to start a demanding degree so there will be a lot of added stress to mask any symptoms of things being not right with hormonal contraceptives.

So pill, implant, mirena are pretty much out.

Copper coil. Good but not quite as effective as something like the mirena so I would want to use condoms too. Dh and I are a VERY fertile combination. Using condoms kind of defeats the point of getting something long term tbh.

So if all that is ruled out then am I just left with sterilisation?

Which is pretty daunting.

...and get your bits done

My husbands the same looby. I've said that once I reach 35 I'm stopping the pill as they're not keen on giving it after that. It'll be up to him after that (he doesn't want anymore, I don't mind).

Hold on folks. The risk to a bloke isn't Prostrate Cancer, yep there 'might' be a chance of increased risk, but there are many other life choices that affect prostrate cancer - i.e. not being active.

The operation itself (snip) isn't a big thing if it goes well, and TBH when it doesn't go well it's a few seconds of excruciating pain (been there).

The issue is if the Doctor messes up, or indeed you fall into the 1 in 10 who get Post Vasectomy Pain. Then the NHS doesn't want to know.

Yes I manned up, booked in, wasn't told the risks. I did hold off till Autumn as I wasn't missing my sport/exercise. Anyway, first part of the op was a doddle, then the doctor made a mess, I was awake, but now left in considerable pain 3.5 months later, and don't get any more Urology visits until 6 months post op. Lost 6 out of the last 12 weeks for my sport due to pain/swelling, and now I'm on reduced 'activity'. Popping ibuprofen to the max dose each day to stop things swelling up.

I posted a thread about this, but I've done all the web research, and there is just about nothing the NHS will do for you if you have post operative complications - I had 'real' surgery a couple of years ago, and this has taken much longer to recover.

If all goes well, your DH will be up and running within a few days. If not, and there is a 1 in 10 chance, be prepared for a long battle with the NHS. They so far haven't bothered to take a proper look, just plenty of poking and squeezing, and they are sure there is scar tissue from the internal stitches but won't look into it. I even had to pay for a private ultrasound to check my left ball wasn't dying as they had damaged a blood vessel in the op.

It is still by far the better 'operative' choice for the fella to go through, but when it doesn't go to plan be prepared, the NHS will wash their hands of you, and offer you anti-seisure drugs for the pain - WTF, rather than fix it.

So, if it goes right, it's a good decision. If it doesn't then it's not so good, nor will bedroom antics...

What about spermicidal sponge o MN alongside coil or do fertility awareness method and use condoms for back up on fertile days?

Thanks for that.

I've been doing some reading. Vasectomy probably still best choice. Thanks for your experience though Fuzz that is certainly something to take on board.

I am not, ever, ever, ever doing charting and condoms on fertile days. One of our dcs is the result of a broken condom plus MAP. I get pregnant very, very easily!

Plus my cycles have never been very regular and have a habit of doing odd things.

I'm pretty set against hormonal methods. I just like my hormones as they are, there is something odd about mucking up natural cycles on purpose. For me obviously, I'm not against them in general. I will have a look at essure too and ask about it.

Dh isn't being a twat by the way, he just fed back what he was told by the GP so that we could research more and discuss it before we make an informed decision.

The snip is still the best long term option. The cancer thing can't be proved as so many other factors influence that, and many many men get it at some point. That never entered into my decision !

The operation isn't very invasive at all and would not normally hurt. If he can, have it done under General, then he wouldn't know what goes on - that would be my advice, as trying to hold yourself still when in excruciating pain isn't easy. I was booked in with the 'expert' at a local surgery, but ended up with someone training - not that they said that, but it bacame apparent once 'down to business'. My GP has actually recommended going down the PALS route to complain and I have.

Hopefully, if DH has the op it will go well, most do, but there is still a very real risk of this pain syndrome, from what is a very simple, usually painless operation. Personally, I wouldn't do it again though - caused me too much pain, and feel totally let down by the NHS and it's completely ruined my main hobby and sport. I believe reversal can help cure it, but my consultant thinks the Doctor made a mess anyway, so that's not on the cards - I've even told the consultant that if the pain continues at this rate, I'd want the lot removing (balls and pipes etc) - you should have seen his face ! Just be aware of this real risk 'afterwards'.

Folk won't like me saying this, but it isn't funny for both of you if this happens.

Absolutely, tsc

I would say my pelvic floor is permanently damaged. My stomach muscles fucked. The bouts of back pain and sciatica I have are traced directly back to my pregnancies... I may have to retire from my active job before time because of it. My emotional health has been attacked by prolonged fertility treatment and repeated miscarriages.

It was his turn to lay those balls on the line.

Respect to The fuzz for sharing his experience, I'm not suprised you feel let down by the NHS. Being left damaged is no laughing matter. Out of interest....was it a urology specialist, gp or sexual health clinic where you had the procedure carried out.

Still think long term, vasectomy is the best option. It's not just because "I've done my bit etc" but I think its a way of finalising reproductive years and giving us freedom without needing to use any additional methods.

I'm still hoping that husband will come round to idea, however plan to revert back to combined pill, loestrin 20, in the meantime as I found this to be without side effects.