Hello!
Sorry for being rubbish and not checking this thread in aeons.
Well, DD got 113/150 at grade 3, and she's going to be taking grade 4 in July. To my ears she sounds like she will be ready, and I think her teacher is happy with her progress at the moment. She's been preparing for a while but she did play other pieces for a couple of terms, including a couple of her own choosing, before embarking on grade 4.
Getting her to do her practice can still be a struggle. We aim for 5 or 6 times a week and average 5, I would say. Often the sessions are 30 mins, but I often find myself shouting upstairs to her to carry on for a bit longer. There is a lot of nagging from time to time on my part, and now and again DH gets stuck in and threatens to stop the lessons! DD is not very good with her own company, and sometimes I pop in and listen and ask her to play for me, which helps. DD2 by contrast is currently working towards gr.2 on the piano and is better at settling down to play by herself. She's more of an introvert and gets lost in things quite easily whereas DD1 has a very busy restless sort of mind IYKWIM.
But, we had a conversation just last night about whether it's easier and more fun to practice now that DD1 is so much better, and she agreed it is. I hope that this continues. The music that she is making now is so much improved, I really enjoy hearing her play.
She started secondary school last September and it's a VERY music-oriented school (particularly for a state school). There is so much going on and the standard is very high. All kids are encouraged to join groups and ensembles which meet at lunchtime. We went to a recent concert and I enjoyed various ensembles/orchestras etc and then DD1 appeared with her string group and she was sat with her friend who is grade 1 standard playing the same part. I tackled her afterwards and she explained that she'd missed the sign up for orchestra and joined the string group instead and she didn't realised the standard was lower (!). She cried and said she thought orchestra would be too difficult so I've had a word with her music teacher who is going to make sure she joins the orchestra next term. DD isn't very happy pushing herself and I think doesn't always appreciate how much she can do. I'm hoping that as time goes on, if she keeps up her playing at school (she also gets to play in her music lessons) she will keep on improving.
Someone asked what the difference was between her two teachers. I think teacher number #2 is much more experiences than teacher #1, even though they are roughly the same age. I think teacher #2 has had so many pupils over such a long time, as well as two children herself who are excellent musicians, that it really helps her adjust to different children's learning styles. Beyond that I can't really say much more. I am not a musician, it's difficult for me to tell.
Once again, apologies for going AWOL. I am so glad that people have found this thread helpful. It was tremendously helpful for me at the time and it's lovely to have it to look back on, so a big, big thank you to everyone who has contributed. 