A nice EU thread about love. Did freedom of movement enable you to meet your partner?

[KennDodd]

I know lots of people who would never have been in the right place at the right time were it not for our rights as EU citizens to freedom of movement. Lots of children born as well.

'On a thread where it was at all relevant to the discussion I would have empathy and compassion regarding the issue of prejudice against and lack of support for people with autism.

On this thread (which is in the Brexit section FFS) it's completely fucking irrelevant. And I resent someone demanding that we discuss it. Start a new thread.'

Yy to this. Top-trumping in a situation which is causing real concern and grief for real people is tasteless, at best. As is presuming to know what I do and don't give a rat's arse about.

To the OP: Yes. My marriage and dc are a result of FoM and I now have German citizenship.

Indirectly. I lived in Brussels for a while and dated some right twats while I was there. When I came back to the U.K. I found a lovely non-twatty man and settled down with him. He's Irish so also an EU citizen but Irish/UK FOM predates the EU. I think my Brussels experiences helped me pick a good'un. 😄

I moved here from Italy when I was 5.
DHs parents moved here from the Philippines , met here and had DH.
DS exists because of immigration :)

For a long time I resented the fact that non DH and I had to pay a fortune to live in the country I grew up in, and that 5/8 of his g-grandparents grew up in, while couples with no ties to the country were free to move across with no restrictions.

My husband came to England to improve his English, he found and job and a few years later we met.
We then decided to try living in his home country of France and here we are 8 years later with 2 lovely children and 2 businesses.

My children are dual nationality and I’m going to apply my French one soon so we’ll still be able to move freely should we wish.
I’m intrigued to know what the criteria will be for my husband if ever we want/need to live in the UK again.

I am from a Scandinavian country, and DH is a Brit. We met at Uni in Spain.

It was the Erasmus program, allowing uni students to spend a year abroad (with a scholarship/grant)

Such a wonderful time, we made friends from all over the world and discussed prejudices, and made fun of national stereotypes. I imagined the English would be formal and boring and into gardening, antiques, cricket and solving crimes (not sure why, but that was my prejudice, based on English tv series ). Turned out the English crowd were party animals, and we had many Scandi-Brit boozing sessions. Quite a few romances too.

We are now married, have been for 20 years

Apparently there are 1 million Erasmus babies as a result of this program

Serious integration

I may have shed a little tear at the Brexit vote, as for me collaboration and integration between European countries was a dream of optimism. I hate nationalism, but that is what we are seeing now in all of Europe...

PS I now love England, and my garden, and even cricket, but not solved a crime yet

I had my coup de foudre moment with a non-UK EU citizen and we have a DS. I spent my younger years doing research jobs in various EU countries. I have been very grateful for the freedom I had to move around without red tape. I have always felt I was European.

It seems weird that the choice of friends and neighbours is impacting us more than it is them in the run up to Brexit with DP having to formally request the right to stay here after working in this country for a decade and a half.

He feels he is not wanted here and I feel like a stranger in a strange land.

Wow! 1 million Erasmus babies!

I know it'll be much harder for students or highly educated professionals to travel but it's not them I feel for most because they should still be able to move about Europe. It's the young people like I was, from a poor family, without any fancy qualifications or the skills to navigate a complex system, because these opportunities for travel will be closed to them.

The phrase ‘oh but I didn’t mean you’ from brexiteers we knowis unbelievably insulting.

Yes, a Dutch colleague was complaining about this yesterday - maybe if those voting leave had thought about how it would affect the ones they didn't mean, things wouldn't be as they currently are.

I met my British husband (I'm British too) in the UK but we wouldn't have met if the freedom of movement through the EU (long story) didn't exist (we had both had amazing life-enriching experiences, separately) and he's now my ex .... but I am more upset about leaving the EU than I am that we split up says it all!
Gutted doesn't even cover it.

Yes, it did. I moved within EU to study a subject I couldn't have studied in my local university, and because I wanted to see some more of the world and have a change of scenery. I met my DH in university (he is both British and a citizen of where we lived at the time). We lived in this EU country for a while after finishing our studies, and then made the decision to move to the UK for work and family reasons. No paperwork, no hassle; nothing to worry about except the practicalities of a long haul move and finding jobs.

While I'm very despondent about this whole shit show that is Brexit, we've made our home in England and have been here most of our adult lives. There's a bit of a temptation to flounce off "since you no longer want me!" and flee the sinking ship... But moving countries isn't as simple when you're settled with a mortgage, longterm jobs, good friends and have set down roots. I've got the Settled Status and I'm planning to stay. At least right now.

The phrase ‘oh but I didn’t mean you’ from brexiteers we knowis unbelievably insulting.

Yes, definitely... So many people who I genuinely have liked very much have told me this. It makes me feel all kinds of stabby.

I went to France on holiday and met my ex. We then had DS, who is bilingual although only British as neither of his parents are French ( a requirement for a French passport).

I have a Scottish friend with a Polish daughter in law and half polish grandson.
My cousin has a Dutch husband and children

Ok not me - but loads of people I know.

I don't think that some people (perhaps outside cities?) quite get how intertwined some other peoples' lives are:

• DD's best friend is the product of an EU romance - she was born and bred in London. Mother- Dutch. Father- English. Met due ability to reciprocally working for same company with U.K. and Dutch branches.

•One set of old neighbours- Husband came for work experience from Finland. Met and married Irish wife here. No children but I think she developed depression or something and couldn't work. He was supporting her here.

• Another set of old neighbours. H was age old Anglo Saxon from here- W was German passport holder with German Mum and English Dad. Her parents had met due to her Dad working in Germany then proposed within 2 months. Moved here . Two DC born here but 1/4 German I guess. Both parents now contributing majorly to NHS at senior consultant level.

• Another few doors down neighbour. W Romanian- Another senior consultant at children's hospital. Met when English H travelled in EU for work. Had an on line and commuting relationship.She eventually moved here once completed her medical training in Romania - she now supports him as he can't work for various reasons.

• Parents at the school actually met on an Erasmus programme. Love at first sight. Arranged to be together by living in both countries soon after meeting.She was born here - her H in Austria I think.Three British born children. Both higher rate tax payers if that is relevant.

• Another couple at the school -H Irish and W Greek. Met when W came to University here- literally love match on very first day of Uni.

I know loads of examples could go on and on and on ! Can think of at least six more from the school alone.

Some of my closest friends have come either directly or indirectly from the Erasmus programme as well. A British friend who lived next door to me when we were studying in Germany. The uni had a sort of mentor scheme and the lady who was paired up with me is still one of my best friends, we see each other often, I went over in January to give her English goodies and she gave me plenty of German coffee and chocolate to bring home :) And then I went back to Germany for another year, so that was then the indirect friends made from Erasmus, without that I wouldn't have gone back for another year. And then I wanted to go again so I made more friends working there for a few months. The latter might not be possible anymore if we can only stay for three months as I would not be doing a job an EEA citizen wouldn't be able to do so I wouldn't have got a work permit.

So not just love, it's friendships too.

'Apparently there are 1 million Erasmus babies as a result of this program'
not by accident that's nicknamed the Orgasmus program :-)

www.google.com/amp/s/www.independent.co.uk/student/news/eus-erasmus-study-abroad-programme-responsible-for-1m-babies-9751749.html%3famp

People were able to move and work before 75

Speaking as someone whose DH isn't British but not EU, it's a total and complete PITA. Immigration, cost, interviews, strangers pawing through emails, exams and tests.

FoM is awesome.

Yes - my husband came from Scandinavia to do a second degree here and then got a job near where I lived. He was thinking of getting the EU stars tattooed on his back years ago!

EU citizen (and now British too) here.

DH is from my same country but had working in England for 10 years when we met online. I was completing my PhD in Germany. We flew back and forth every other weekend until my viva, then I looked for a job in the UK.

I have been here now for 7 years. We have a 21mo old DS and six passports for 3 people.

Going through everyone I know. The world has just globalised. It's not just here - that there's been international movement.

I know some people don't move from their birth village which is fine, but others do. All the ones I know have been contributing in significant ways to the countries they ended up in.

• An ex boyfriend of mine from 30 years ago - we met backpacking. He is born in Germany went on an EU language thing at the end of his degree- met his Spanish wife. They live in Germany with two German born tri lingual children. Wife works paying taxes in Germany.

• Holiday friends- wife is Italian, husband is French. They met at work in Paris due to her freedom of movement to work there as a translator .. Married for years with three children, two at Uni . Parents live and work in France. Eldest children at Uni in Netherlands. They were paying to come to Uni here but didn't as felt unwelcome due to Brexit.

• Oldest DDs school friend has Mother French- father Dutch. Met in Paris. H moved to London for work ( higher rate tax payer) and two out of three children born here. Family felt unwelcome due to Brexit and H got job in Singapore and will return to France. Children were coming to Uni here but went to US instead.

I met my British DH while studying here. My children will still have FOM due to their dual nationality. I hope they marry and move to another European country if I am honest and I encourage them to study abroad. I will never take British nationality.

Well a lot of this would have still happened without freedom of movement. I was on a visa when I met my husband. Migration isn’t an EU invention.

Well a lot of this would have still happened without freedom of movement. I was on a visa when I met my husband. Migration isn’t an EU invention.

Bollocks. Without the EU, there is no way my working-class friend (child of Windrush immigrants, brought up in one of the most notorious housing estates in Britain) would have been able to pitch up in Germany on a whim, meet his life partner, then move to France and start a business.

There has always been free movement for the elite, and there will still be after Brexit. For ordinary people, and especially working class people, not so much.

Mistigri - anecdotally that isn’t my experience. My parents were from similar backgrounds (immigrant family on one side) and both took the opportunity to live and work abroad. Similarly to their friends and friends parents.

It seems that it has always been more about attitude.

Again it’s all anecdotal, as most things are on Mumsnet.