Managing without a car

[MsG]

Hi. Just wondered if any of you have kids and don't have a car. Am pregnant now (due end of May) and we don't have a car, but I'm thinking it's going to be difficult without one. We don't live very near shops. Nearest supermarket is a 15-min walk. My DH is against the idea of getting a car and I am in theory, but practically I think it will be difficult managing without. Also not sure we can afford one but surely a second-hand one wouldn't cost too much.

Just wanted to know if people had positive experiences of not having a car, really.

travel system = buggy + car seat that attaches

Oh, I see. I'd need both those anyway, surely? Are they more expensive to buy like that?

MsG- Travel systems are good as it means you get best of both world with pram and seat BUT you should never leave a baby in one for more than 2 hours as they can damage their spines, alot of people use them but personally and going by expert advice I wouldn't use one unless you get one and if you know you will be getting a lift/taxi/bus then you could put the seat on but otherwise Id just use pushchair.

They are normally a bit more expensive but you can get cheaper ones depends on your budget.

These are a few from Mothercare, you'll probably find cheaper.

This looks good
This is a great one but V.heavy
This is a bargain.
This looks good too
You can buy a car seat for this one, and it can face you
You can also get a car seat for this

HTH a bit.

MsG, I haven't driven for nearly 10 yrs now. We do own one car, but since we moved back to a big city we never use it during the week, as driving in Milan shortens your life expectancy of 10 yrs .

In the UK we lived in a small city, it was just a 10 mins walk to the shops. You'll find that popping baby in a pram and go for a long walk is often a life saver. You can also do your main shopping on line, as it's been suggested already.

When my children were on the buggy it was pretty easy to go shopping as I managed to hang lots of bags on the handles.

I now own a granny style shopping trolley, of which I'm very proud. And there are lots of chic Milanese women sporting various kinds of shopping trollies (sp?). They are cool (unfortunately they are outnumbered by those with big cars )

Shopping trolleys are très chic in Paris too - I have one bottle green and one scarlet one

Shopping trolleys are chic in the way that bicycles in the city are - they speak loads about the bearer - as in "I am a proper inner city living girl who shops selectively in lots of small specialist shops, not a Desperate surburban housewife who drives to a hypermarket "

I've never made the correlation to be honest, as here in Milan it seems fashionable to own huge cars even if you live under the Duomo . I'm really starting to hate drivers here. I shout and pull faces

There are definite kudos to not owning a second car here in Paris because in order not to do so you need to live very close to the shops/school/park which is by definition expensive and pleasing architecturally.

4x4 owners live in Neuilly-sur-Seine the suburbs

Well here, the amount of 4x4 parked on the pavement of tiny streets rises as you approach the posher areas, where you wouldn't need a car at all

to OP we live in the outskirts of London we don't have a car, shopss are within walking distance and we also use online shop for some groceries.
we have always had car seats which can be used in most cars because we sometimes rent or borrow cars for longer trips, or sometimes go in friend's cars

it is really fine but lots of things are within walking distance and we have good train and bus links
also a strong sturdy buggy helps

Well if Anna8888 owns one then they can't be naff.

I might look into getting one again. Anna I imagine you look pretty chic when you push your trolley as I expect you have immaculate manicured nails and a nice swingy little mac. Usually I am doing the shopping with frayed jeans and baggy jumper so I might need a wardrobe update before I am brave enough to venture out with a trolley!

nonono Forever Optimistic, sporting a trolley makes you chic no matter what you wear. That is my mantra, at least

i managed fine with one baby in our old area but now with one baby and one toddler i am getting so stressed with nasty bus drivers and long journeys as well as missing out on so many nct things as they are held in places no buses or trains will go to i am going to take driving test

so i think you need to look at your local area and services, especially how regular they are as waiting an hour for the next bus home when one hasnt turned up (near me) is far worse than waiting ten minutes (near mil)

We used to need 2 cars for work and nursery runs and when we moved we made sure we moved somewhere where we didn't need to do that. Now we only have one car and we barely use it during the week.

We would struggle without one at all, even though we would be OK for day to day things. We go camping a lot and I think this is hard with 3 small children and no car. And DP is a very keen windsurfer and that is really very hard to do without a car to carry the equipment - we also have kayaks and a sailing dinghy and surboards. It would mean giving up on quite a few of our major hobbies.

But I do feel quite pleased that we manage with bikes and foot for all of our daily journeys. If I wasn't with DP and we didn't have all the watersports activities and the girls were a bit older I could imagine living without a car. But it would involve dumping DP and all his Large Hobbies (lots of DIY/building activities which need a lot of stuff transported too).

If you have the money to consider buying/running a car, you probably have the money to take a taxi once in a while to visit your sis or whatever.

Agree with the others about online shopping. It also saves you money because you make fewer impulse purchases

We don't have a car. I have 2 dds, one of whom has CP and cannot walk, so uses a buggy. We take cabs for her when necessary (sometimes it is hellish on the bus with her large buggy!) but we get on fine.
Agree re internet shop though. We do this with top us at local shops. We get bulky stuff delivered.
We even took a cab to Dorset (we live in London) one Christmas to stay with friends - it was a special treat, it was a guy they knew so he gave us a good price, and we didn't feel guilty, especially as we hadn't spent money on car stuff during the year. The driver was heading back that way anyway, so was glad to get some money for his return journey!

Yes, I think it used to be a bit like that in Paris, until Delanoë started his radical transport policy for central Paris.

MsG

Of course it is possible to survive about a car but you do need to take the isolation factor into v serious consideration.

We have a car but I never drive it because a) I hate driving and haven't driven for four years and am now out of practice and don't dare, b) I am trying to be eco, c) I live in London and a lot of the time you can get around with public transport (though with a baby and a toddler, it's challenging ).

But in hindsight I would say thatI was sometimes lonely during the first year of dd1's life as I didn't know anyone locally and getting around with her on buses etc was too much of a faff and took too long to do very often. Friends with babies often drove to see me, but I know they were a bit pissed off that they always had to make the effort. If public transport is bad round you and there isn't much going on locally then I'd say a car is pretty vital to keep sane by going to baby groups etc. Shopping isn't such an issue for the reasons mentioned by others. Also, I have a get out clause, that my dh drives us around at weekends and we are able to do a lot of things then that without a car would be, virtually impossible. Before you have children it's hard to imagine how isolating it can be and how much you'll need other mum friends.

So I'd say go for it, just don't use it unless strictly necessary ie walk to the shops. Good luck.

PS

I write as someone who thinks people drive too much and am at mothers around me who drive their dcs to nursery when it's less than 10 mins' walk away. But sometimes a car is very handy indeed.

Thanks for all the comments - v helpful. I think to be totally honest the isolation thing is what bothers me the most. Nearest train station is a 30 min walk, which is fine until it's raining and windy. Buses are not that regular - about one an hour to the nearest big city but often unreliable, and like I said, a lot of the places I might want to go to are not places you could get to on public transport.

But we do have my in-laws' car that we can borrow, so at first I might start off doing that occasionally and seeing how it goes. I don't even have any friends with kids round here at the moment. We were in London for 9 years and perfectly happy without a car there as the transport was so good and it was easy to get to anything we wanted.

If you are a cyclist, you can get around quite easily with a baby on the back once they're over about 6-8 months. But you can't really take them by bike in the first few months - unless you get a bike trailer which takes lying down babies. And if you have 2 or more children it gets harder, though there are ways of taking 2 or even 3 on a bike.

I do cycle and will look into getting something when the baby is a bit older. x

If shops are only a 15 minute walk away that's easy but you need a buggy with big air filled tyres, good suspension and a big basket or you could do your shopping online. I prefer to be able to see my meat, fruit and veg though before i buy it.