A question about Down's syndrome [WARNING - Could be upsetting]

[JaneFonda]

I have a question because I genuinely don't know the answer. I would never look to offend or upset anyone, and this is definitely not coming from a judging angle.

One of my best friends is currently awaiting results for tests to see if her baby has an increased chance of having Down's syndrome.

I was talking to her about it, and she'd been reading about possible options, eg. termination.

I am genuinely unsure - why do some people choose to terminate a fetus if it has Down's syndrome? Absolutely not judging anyone's decision, it is none of my business, but I suppose I'm wondering what the dangers are if a baby is born with Down's syndrome?

I have only met two people with Down's syndrome, and they have seemed, well, perfectly healthy. I understand about the mental aspect of it, but physically - are there problems?

I would really appreciate any answers you can provide, it's a scary time for my friend and I'd like to be able to support her without seeming totally ignorant.

I would never judge anyone who had a termination as I have never walked in their shoes.

I was 41 when I fell pregnant with DD. I was going to have an amnio, but my bloods came back as low risk. Thinking about it afterwards I am glad I didn't have to make a decision, and thought that I would love my child regardless.

A few weeks after DD was born she developed a life threatening medical condition (which has now, thankfully, resolved). I loved her all the more for being more vulnerable. However, I decided that if I ever got pregnant again I would have every test going because I didn't want another child with health problems, having already had to deal with one.

There are some people who have children who inherit life limiting conditions, and some who go on to have several children with inherited problems. This is something I cannot fathom, but it isn't for me to judge.

I'm with AnnieLob. I had the test at 12 weeks to check for any abnormalities and I said that should they find any, I'd like a termination.

I know myself enough to say that I would hate to be a carer and if I gave birth to a child with problems, chances are I'd give them up. They'd deserve better and I know on myself I do not have the emotional strength to be a carer.

I expect to be flamed but that's the truth

I declined any of the tests during pregnancy, midwives were horrified, I don't know anyone else who declined.

In my case there was no point as I wouldn't have terminated a much wanted pregnancy due to Down Syndrome.