Male relative late 70s faeces everywhere when using toilet

[limetrees32]

Undx yet with Alzheimer's or similar.
Using fingers when opening bowels , not wiping effectively or cleaning hands properly.
Poo on door handles ,taps , trousers.
Any advice ?

He and partner eat v healthy high fibre veg diet.
But ... You need liquids with fibre.

Such a tricky situation. It does sound like he’s not completely emptying his bowels, phylum husk or soaked chia seeds would probably help.
If he would be accepting it of care maybe bringing in a carer now would be a good idea.
Things I found helpful as a carer. Lots of supplies in the bathroom, wipes, Disposable wash cloths. Nappy sacks, You can also get dissolvable washing bags to bag up faeces covered clothes that you can seal and pop straight in the washing machine. Carers would bring their own gloves and aprons but it would be useful to have spares.
Also plenty of easy to use cleaning supplies.
I don’t think many cleaners would clean up faeces. You would need a carer.

Even if it’s a carer popping in once a day or even every other day would take the pressure off.

Plenty of easy to wash clothes would help too, that wash and dry quickly.

The low iron could be triggering restless leg syndrome - which could explain the itching feeling.

Quite common in dementia and it depends on which part of the brain it is impacting as to whether there is any emotion attached to it.

The reality is, he is at (or very nearly at) care home stage unless one of the family or his partner want to step in. GP and social care team need to be contacted (you can email them) asap.

Yes, i think ask for a comprehensive cognitive assessment and the gp to refer to continence. Gp also needs to look into cause for itchy legs, could be liver disease. I think you also need to refer to adult social care for a needs assessment. You can request this online or ring up. Look for your county council adult social care online.

Someone i know hasnt yet got the diagnosis of dementia (but they have ischaemic brain disease which can lead to vascular dementia), there is loss of inhibition (talking about poo when they never would have, watching a horrifically violent film with sadomasochism and sex scenes - stig larrson 🫣whilst workmen are trying to fix something in the same room), and a loss of known routines (washing hands after toilet with soap) and apathy....... So no real understanding of why something is wrong, no shame, no embarrassment.

I think in this case, the needs assessment by adult social care should confirm that their safety at home is in question, lack of insight into risk to selves and others through smearing of faeces, inability to clean up themselves and their own home i imagine also. So he definitely has care needs. Im sorry this sounds very difficult to cope with. I vomit quite easily with smells and have been known to stuff ripped up boots cucumber face wipes up my nose to try to cope.

In the meantime, the disposable gloves are a good idea. Maybe ice lollies might work or soup, to get more liquids down.

Maybe ask the gp if it woukd be sensible to relax the high fibre diet and switch to low residue diet, just till this issue can be better managed, as this would reduce the amount of times hes needing to poo.

Helpful points from you all , thank you so much.
@Yourcousinrachel I find humming helps with gagging .
Have you tried smearing Vicks under your nose ?

what is his own home like? i mean does he do this there or just at the partners house? i know with dementia things change a lot; any inhibitions go out the window so this sounds a typical thing. GP assessment would be first port of call

Thanks, i will try those!