Elderly mum not sleeping- how normal?

[SilverSurferNot]

My mum aged 98 has a terrible time sleeping. It varies a lot but some nights she wakes around 2am and can't sleep again so she is exhausted the next day. And obviously there are longer term effects on her overall health.

She lives independently and is in reasonably good health- fully mobile etc. My sister visits her most days (I'm too far away to do that.)

I have suggested she asks for sleeping tablets if she has little sleep for days on end but she's not keen. I know they can have side effects.

Does anyone else have any experience of this?

Very common. Might be worth enquiring about melatonin rather than full on sleeping tablets - that helps her normal sleep cycle rather than knocking her out.

I thought of that but they are unlicensed aren't they in the UK? Or not allowed to buy over the counter- but can a GP prescribe?

Your mum sounds amazing @SilverSurferNot ... Mine is "only" 85 and has the same issue. As the previous poster says, melatonin might be possible (if a GP will prescribe). Has she tried over the counter stuff? I'm not sure what really works but others may have suggestions.

Ive just been to the GP with my mum shes younger than yours, she has a few health issues. Anyway she doesn't sleep well up and down most of the night, we mentioned it the dr said it can come with aging and he recommended just resting and napping, I think they are reluctant to give sleeping tablets.

Melatonin is licensed in the UK, it is a prescription only medicine. Her GP would be able to prescribe it, if it is suitable for her.

Licenced for over 55s, IIRC. Prescription only.

I think it's pretty common. I visit and chat at length to a lot of older people to do Attendance allowance forms and loads of them are up and down all night but often not really anything to do with their illnesses or disabilities, they just can't sleep.

I am 54 and my sleep is terrible I think by the time im in my 70s ill just be up all night !

My 91 year old Dad has had this issue since his mid- 80s. He did have prescribed sleeping tablets for a while after lots of asking the GP, but they stopped working quite quickly and made him groggy in the daytime. I can see why they were reluctant to give them to him. Overall his quality of life is much better without them. He says he tries not to get worked up now about the lack of sleep, just accepts it as a sign of aging, he reads or listens to the radio. He does occasionally close his eyes in his chair during the day but swears he’s just resting them - the snoring suggests otherwise!

That's probably menopause- HRT sorted my sleep @Coffeeishot .

She is very reluctant to take anything but I may suggest melatonin.
I don't know if there are any contraindications for older people.

I feel very sorry for her because on 'good days' she's amazing - doing loads of gardening and physical stuff - but on other days she's worn out from lack of sleep.

Ive had to come off HRT but yes it is the menopause I seem to be such a light sleeper it is like im just dosing instead of deep sleep,

I'm 70 and don't sleep well. What helps me are magnesium glycinate and Ashwaganda supplements. From Amazon

Oh, sorry to hear that- is that a 100% no?
Maybe your GP can refer you to someone (specialist) to offer other solutions? There are other drugs out there.

I might go back actually see what they say,

I know about those but I'm wary of her taking any as she is on some meds for slight cardio / BP issues and they may not be safe.

Do you want to say why you stopped (you can PM me if you like as I've a lot of experience of it.)

I was having horrendous headaches and it was during covid so the gp suggested I stop I was fine tbf I had my last period at 51, it is the sleep that is affected now, maybe I do need to go back @SilverSurferNot

Might be worth a try?
Sleep was my biggest issue and TBH my Mum's right from her 50s except now it's got a whole lot worse for her.

What time does your mum normally go to bed and go to sleep?

Anywhere from 9pm to 10pm.
I've encouraged her to try to go late (eg 10pm) but sometimes she goes earlier.

That's tricky. She's getting up to 5 hours sleep (maybe more?) and may not need much more than that. You're right to encourage her to stay up a bit later. It's especially tricky when it's cold and gets dark so early - maybe spring is a better time to tackle this?

Embrace naps.

My mum was like this. It’s because she slept during the day and had a reduced appetite. Pretty sure she woke up hungry. In the end I encouraged her to get up, make some tea and toast and then go back to bed.

This is good advice and also to ask your mum to have a snack at bedtime in case low blood sugar is a factor in her waking up early.