How to express our gratitude to care home staff

[Mrsmooja]

After a turbulent couple of years with mum, dementia and falls with broken bones, she moved into a residential care home in August. Me and my 94 yo dad have been sitting by her side for the last 6 days and she is in her last few hours. Mum and us have experienced nothing but gentleness, kindness and sensitivity from all the staff, not only carers but housekeeping, catering, everybody. Our hearts are breaking. We are trying to think of what we can do to show our gratitude when mum has gone. Apologies in advance if I don't respond quickly, or at all, but know that any suggestions will be appreciated 💔

A thank you card, huge box of nice M&S biscuits or chocolates? Sending strength OP 💛

My mother was in a care home for several years and I had the same experience of overwhelming kindness.

Every so often I sent a card telling them how much I appreciated their care, and I also took in chocolates at Easter/Christmas.

When she died, I did the same.

OP, so sorry you are going through this difficult time and losing your mum. I think any show of appreciation will be so welcomed. I would maybe get a large card for everyone and a few large boxes of chocs which could be shared out. What you've written here could be written in the card.

If there is anyone who really stood out then maybe a little individual card for them. I think also mention any names to care home managers maybe in an email with specific praise (Olivia was so kind and gentle with my Dad, offering him tea) would also go far. It's important for management to know whose gone the extra mile.

My mum passed away this time last year. The staff at her home were awesome. We sent a thank you card, large boxes of biscuits, and gave a monetary amount to contribute to the staff Christmas party (they wouldn’t accept money any other way) and this went down really well. We also sent the flower arrangements from the funeral to the home - they were huge and gorgeous as my mum was a keen gardener, and we hoped others could enjoy them. So sorry for your loss op.

We made a hamper with instructions that it was to be placed in the staff room and was not exclusively for the Managers. Nice teas, coffees and hot chocolate, scones, clotted cream and jam, fancy biscuits, savoury snacks, nice cheeses,crackers and chutney, bottles of fancy soft drinks and some chocolates. The staff at PIL care home were amazing and we did this as a thank you after FIL died, not knowing that MIL would follow him very soon after.

Yes, we did something similar. The staff will be on minimum wage so money is always appreciated. We did ‘Christmas box’ as a way to get round cash gifts.

A resident passed away in my mum’s care home. The family paid for an ice cream van to visit on a sunny summer’s day. Staff and residents all got to choose an ice cream. I thought that was lovely. Small and fabulous care home.

I work in a care home, we recently lost one of our residents. The family arrived over the weekend with a thank you card, mince pies, chocolates & biscuits for the staff on the floor where the resident had stayed. It is always a lovely way of saying thank you.

I once made up a hamper in the Body Shop - lots of mini sizes so everyone could pick what they wanted.
I am very sorry about your DM. I know how hard it is to sit by the bed and wait. But it is also a privilege and you are doing a good deed.

Thank you so much for your ideas.
Dad's beautiful wife and my beautiful mum slipped away peacefully at 2.30 this afternoon. She looked serene and at peace. I'm sorry to those of you that have also been through this...our mums, our first love ❤️

Sending you love and hugs.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost mum last year and it still feels very new.

The first Christmas DM was there she gave me a list of people she wanted to give presents to and I lost track so I just filled a gift bag with boxes of sweets and biscuits and asked the nurse on duty to put it in the staff room and let everyone help themselves.

A bit later on I wrote to the manager after they had organised an amazing event for my DD's wedding - set out the best crockery in the hall, dressed mum in her best, did her make up and her hair and gave her a gift to give my DD as though from her. It was a wonderful memory. I wrote to the manager to express our gratitude and named the staff who took particular care of mum but made it clear that everyone had been a part of the celebration.

A few months on I wrote to another of the staff who I felt had gone above and beyond to help mum when she broke down because she didn't want to have her cataracts done. She spoke to me off record and said that if it was her mum she would not push her to have the surgery so we asked her cancel to cancel it.

When mum died we talked to the new manager and said we would like to give the home a gift on mum's behalf and we agreed that a bird table or bird feeder would be appreciated. So a few weeks after she died we took a bird feeder and bird food and a bag of cakes and biscuits for the residents and staff to have with their afternoon tea and we were able to pop in and see other residents that we had become fond of as well.

Sending love op. When my mum passed away a few years ago this January we made up a hamper of sweets biscuits chocolates. But also a separate one of nice hand cream and foot care products. Both were gratefully accepted.

What is Christmas box please? 😍

Over the years DH and his colleagues have received various gifts from bereaved relatives e.g, sweets, biscuits, big Tins of Nescafe/Tea bags for the staff room, £5 Tesco voucher for all staff, bottle of wine for all staff ( must have cost a fortune for the wine).

Most of all though the best thing is a card.

A letter to the manager saying how fabulous the staff have been.

I like the idea of hand creams, carers have to do a lot of hand washing and wearing plastic gloves.

My nurse friend also suggested hand lotions as they found that such a valuable treat. She also said that a relative handed in a generous Costa coffee voucher for all the staff to have a nice coffee - that went down very well. She told me not to get cakes or biscuits as they’re all trying to lose weight and it’s too tempting to take a handful rather than make time for a lunch or proper snack.

Exactly why we did it.

My mam received brilliant care in her home and whem she died we donated to a fund the home has that specifically is for the staffs Christmas celebrations. We had to make it clear that it was this specific fund and not to be used for the company who ran the home, and we were pleased that the staff were getting the benefit of it and they were brilliant,working so hard for not very good wages. We also wrote a card and gave biscuits for the staff room.

At Christmas I get a big present bag and fill it with about £30 worth of sweets, chocolate, crisps, snacks etc… It’s easy for them to divide out, if that’s what they want to do, or they can just dip into it.

I know everyone is different, but I feel that just sincere thanks and courteous interactions are the best way to show appreciation. When my dad died, he was lucky enough to be in a care home where the staff were conscientious and kind. I saw them as lovely professionals doing their job. I always feel that it is a little difficult, somehow, to feel that their professionalism has to be rewarded with gifts rather than simple respect.

I think a card and a couple of boxes of nice biscuits/chocolates are good for the staff.
But also, something for the home.
Staff often want to do nice 'extra' things for residents but don't have the resources, so a few nice nail varnishes, decent nail files etc, and some hand creams they can use use for the residents for a hand massage.

I think a card and a couple of boxes of nice biscuits/chocolates are good for the staff.
But also, something for the home.
Staff often want to do nice 'extra' things for residents but don't have the resources, so a few nice nail varnishes, decent nail files etc, and some hand creams they can use use for the residents for a hand massage.

My mam died last month in a care home. She’d been there for 7 years and was loved by the staff. They really cared for her. She also had some good friends amongst the other residents. At her funeral I asked instead of flowers….donations for the care home. We handed nearly £900 over to be split amongst the staff and residents to have some lovely days out together in memory of my mam. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ll be thinking about you x