Is this an expected thing with aging or just my mother being my mother?

[ItsBella]

My mother has always been very emotional herself, at the same time as dismissive of other people's emotions. This seems to be more so now as she gets a bit older. Her outlook is also a bit more selfish. Is this normal for aging or just her personality? She's early 70s.

I think as PoA you are able to delegate to others. It’s just that the buck stops with you.

For example you could set up a card to her account for the other sibling or carers to use for shopping, should you want to.

It doesn’t come into play unless the person lacks capacity, so you wouldn’t really be doing it while your mum was able to manipulate you.

My mum is 80 and in the last year or 2 has become totally disinterested in anything or anyone other than herself. It's grating. I have no tips how to deal with difficult aging mothers as I don't think I am doing a good job of it! I express my irritation with her lack of conversation skills but I think I shouldn't and need to learn to keep my counsel and nod and smile along. Not my style! Plus I think I probably miss the woman I used to enjoy chatting to.

I would say though don't worry too much about the POA, I know everyone says how essential they are these days but remember the vast majority of them are never activated and the issues associated with not having one affect a tiny minority of people so chances are you will be ok without.

In my limited experience, as people age and decline, some of their less pleasant traits got stronger, and some of their softer aspects disappeared. Particularly when there was a long period of illness and chronic pain.

Ours is 80s. Can get anxious. Feel she bored alot too. Then starts scheming.. I think clubs good but she not into it. We visit where we can.

Op agree with other posters you are giving it too much head space. Like asking a snake why it but you rather than just removing yourself from the snakes vicinity.

do what you want and I’d suggest you do the old trite “match her energy” approach.

get her out of your head. Just keep up pleasantries like you would with someone you met on the bus.

I think that as people age they can become more selfish. It's all about them and what they want. Then their world can become smaller because they have poor health and may not be able to drive or get public transport. Then their friends can be in the same position so they can't go places or do things that they all enjoyed even a few years previously.

One of my friends has a mother in her early 80's. A few years my friend suggested that she sell the big family home and move into a smaller home in the nearest town.
Her mother refused to do this. Her mother has a good pension and savings yet complains about the various bills she has to pay.

She has never helped my friend or another sibling out financially despite knowing that they could do with some money at times.

A few months ago my friends mother ended with a health issue and needed several weeks of care in her own home. My fiend is currently on benefits. She moved into her mother's house to care for her. Her siblings barely gave her a break then.
My friend is now planning to get a part job so they won't be available for 24.7 care later and be financially better off also.