Elderly mother never remembers what I’ve told her

[Littlepixie75]

I have noticed a few behavioural changes in my 76 year old mum over the last year or two. Wondering how normal is it for someone of that age to not remember fairly significant things that I know I have told her…. She brushes it off and says “oh you never told me that darling etc” but I know I definitely have. Also she will tell me little anecdotes and facts that she has told me several times before but doesn’t remember telling me. I just patiently say “oh yes, I think you mentioned that before Mum” but is starting to be a bit of a worry. Another thing is getting in a real tizzy about relatively minor things like ringing up British Gas for example. Also being more distracted and unable to do more than one thing at once. More unsteady on feet and has fallen twice in last year. Does this sound like the early warning signs of dementia? I just feel like something is off. Thanks for reading and hope this question won’t upset anyone.

The falls were more balance and rushing about rather than straightforward mobility issues as such if that makes sense? That’s why the physio for balance and core strength would be a good idea. She can walk fine but lost her balance both times when rushing. She does drink plenty of water - always has a bottle nearby.

I absolutely agree with what others say about her very likely not accepting these issues though. They are still very subtle and likely would not be noticed in a one off brief meeting. But I see her weekly and it’s the fact she doesn’t remember things I’ve told her which is most noticeable to me. That and the repeated tales….! However she can also chat in a very well informed manner about current affairs, books, films etc so the problem is not that obvious and I imagine she would pass the tests people have mentioned.

I guess just knowing that other people on here have had similar concerns makes me feel better and less alone! As an only child it is hard to get perspective.

TBH I was in denial about DM (sister thought she had the start of dementia) - having recently been through it all with FiL , I just couldn’t face it again.

But I can pinpoint the exact moment when the dreaded penny dropped. DM had always been very clued up about finances - used to check her shares every week in the Telegraph. But one day I was there when she phoned her bank about something - and could not remember, the instant she’d put the phone down, what they’d said.
Plus, instead of being in a tizz about such a thing, she had so quickly forgotten that incident, too. 🙁