Please explain to me about mother's residential home costs

[CalicoPusscat]

I'm so confused with all of this. We had no other choice than a home as she kept having falls and just wasn't coping. It didn't help having carers go in each day. I would get startled at phone calls at 3am asking me to travel as she'd had a fall so she had to sell her place. The ambulance would get there sooner.

It obviously costs a fortune per month for residential care but as far as I understand it if money drops down to £24500 then it starts to get partially paid for and if it drops down to £14k approx then it's fully protected?

Adult social services can refer for the incontinence issues and I think she might be depressed?

Oh I can't concentrate on all this tonight.

Yes my mother was just not coping at all and with the broken hip and leg I thought it best if she went into a residential home. She doesn't drink or smoke. But doesn't seem to want to engage with anyone. They are really not all thick, I have spoken to several and they all have things to say.

It sounds like she doesn’t want to engage with other residents. Was she particularly social beforehand? How old is she? Regarding the pacemaker- maybe she doesn’t want to go through the ordeal of having it, and the pros of having it done don’t outweigh the cons? Do you know her wishes regarding health etc- do you have power of attorney for health?

@CalicoPusscat and breathe.

Break it down and take one step at a time.

• safeguarding - she is now in a safe place ✅
• Age UK https://www.ageuk.org.uk have information and advice on a wide range of topics.
• Benefits - Your Mum is likely to be entitled to non-means tested benefits e.g. Attendance Allowance, Age UK website has information. Apply via DWP. https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance
• Lasting Power of Attorney - There are two types, Health & Welfare and Property & Finance. If your Mum has capacity I would get these sorted and registered asap as it will make your life a lot easier. https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney
• Social Services - Each council has their own website. Find the one for where your Mum’s care home is located.

Just to say that care home managers can be really helpful in that they know all this stuff backwards, and they will slso know the detailsof your mum's circumstancrs. It can be a lot easier to speak face to face. Ask for a meeting with them? I'd take motes because this stuff is so complicated and so stressful I can't keep it in my head for long.

@CalicoPusscat you can ask for a care assessment from ASS after your elderly is in a care home (even if you put them there). You can ask for this even if self-funding.

Agree with @PermanentTemporary that having a chat with the care home manager is really worthwhile too. To be honest a manager you can work with is gold and the indicator it’s the right place.

From your posts, I can see that the home was badly needed, so you sorted it out. Well done and sorry it’s not appreciated. It sounds like the house is sold and I’m sure you’ve had to make a lot of hard decisions, probably under pressure, and that you are constantly made to doubt yourself.

One thing you might consider is visiting less - if you think the home meets her needs and is well run, step back. Allow your mother to settle and become more dependent on the staff. Spend your time on applying for Attendance Allowance if you haven’t yet.

The problem is that she keeps screaming that she has no money. She DOES but she needs to amalgamate her savings and current account, this is unavoidable, residential homes are expensive.

So if I can write down the figures and try to get her to understand it'll be a beast off of my back. I arranged a will which was straightforward. It's just me + sibling equally. But this is outside my expertise, as far as I'm aware she drops to £24500 then she's partially funded, after £14k what not fully protected. I hate dealing with all of this I have my own stuff going on

The financing should have been sorted before she went into the home. How did you get her placed?

Hmm yes, my worry would be that the local authority would say what funding, we didn't agree she needed a home , you did this independently so the ceiling for savings is irrelevant.

Op, you need to get her assessed by the local authority as needing to be in residential care , that's the urgent step, then the figures you've quoted are relevant. That is if I am understanding correctly that you didn't involve the la or social services to get her there?

When you got her the place in the home, did they ask you to prove there was enough money to pay the fees for a certain amount of time?

For now ignore the fact that your mum is being difficult, as others have said she is safe where she is and cared for. You can't make her happy, her thoughts are her thoughts, she calls the other residents thick so what, it doesn't matter, Your priority must be ensuring you understand procedurally and financially what is going on. Or, if you feel you can't do that then step away, you don't have to do all this.

She was assessed and carers went in each day but that didn't solve anything, I was still getting 3am phone calls. It's such a minefield dealing with all of this. Ok so it sounds like local authorities first.

She went into a residential home straight out of hospital I wasn't involved so I don't know what is going on. It was too far for me to visit and not near a hospital so I got her transferred to one near the hospital. She needs to realise though that it's self funded at present.

Thanks anyway

Social services would have been involved if you were not. Speak to the home themselves and they will give you a contact number for someone to speak to. It's odd that it was all done without any conversations with you, the funding ing absolutely would have been looked into both prior to admission and over the next few weeks to work out the longer term plan. It does sound like it's out of your hands and from the POV of your mother you don't really need to explain it to her just tell her the council/home have it under control.

Big mistake. We did the same, but realised later she really should have been paid for under CHC due to all her health conditions. If I had my time again we'd put some money into fighting it.

It's kind of you all to help, sorted now the residential home say when it gets to £24,500 they'll involve adult social services

@JoyousPinkPeer yes I think she probably is entitled to CHC but it's such a minefield dealing with her I'll leave it now!

@CalicoPusscat I've just been through all this. DM went into a nursing home a few months ago, sorting out all the financing etc is super complicated but once it's done it's done.

As others have said, if you weren't involved in the placement, social services will have been.

Apologies if you've answered this further up (I couldn't see the answer anywhere) but does she own a property?

Has the care home told you what the weekly cost is?

For DM it's c. £1260 per week but the first 12 weeks were half cost. After that she is full cost because she owns her own flat. If your DM doesn't own a property it will as you say just come down to savings but they will dwindle fast given the costs involved.

Is she in a residential care home or a nursing home? Some places offer both, if so is she receiving nursing care?

If she has been deemed to need nursing care then she will automatically get a contribution of around £225 per week towards care costs (which for us brings the cost down to just £1025 per week.

CHC funding will cover all care costs but is incredibly hard to get. My DM was assessed recently and has very complex needs (advanced Parkinson's and dementia, problematic behaviour, doubly incontinent etc but still didn't get it). You can employ legal firms to help but their support with the process seems to cost about £6k.

If I were you I'd try to have a chat with the Adult Social Care team before you get beneath the funding threshold so that you can have your ducks in a row. But you'll probably need to be very persistent, it's often really hard to get hold of a human to speak to. Very best of luck.

On the plus side, I've found life has been a lot less stressful since DM was in a nursing home. I tried everything to keep her at home but it was absolutely exhausting and things are better for everyone now.

If she has been deemed to need nursing care then she will automatically get a contribution of around £225 per week towards care costs (which for us brings the cost down to just £1025 per week Many nursing homes assume you will get this, so the fee you are quoted is after the nursing contribution has been taken off.

if you are entirely self funding, it’s worth getting Attendance Allowance which will contribute about £100 a week to the cost. You can’t get it if the LA are contributing to-the funding.

Yes these are both v good points