Dad is hospital after - will they let him home?

[thethoughtofgettingout]

I'm trying to find out what happens with older people whose homes are unsuitable for their needs after falling.

My dad is in hospital after falling down the stairs. He lost consciousness having had a heart attack. He hit his head hard when he fell. They think he had another heart attack whilst in A&E.

He is in his late 70's and is on a ward. He has a great deal of dizziness (has done for years) & nearly toppled again on the ward.
They are discussing stents & are sending him to a regional cardiac centre.
He has had a series of issues with his heart over many years, including previous heart attacks & aortic aneurysm. He has angina.
He has previously been told he is not fit enough for a heart bypass although needs one.

His lifestyle is terrible - still smokes & very immobile.

He lives alone in a tiny, Victorian terraced house with steep stairs. No downstairs loo or bathroom.
I've been nagging him for years to move to something more suitable but he is very obstinate!

My question is, will they discharge him home given his health?

He can't live with me or my sister as our homes are not suitable for lots of different reasons - I live four hours away.

What will happen now?
Will they discharge him home after treatment & expect him to wash / use commode downstairs indefinitely?
Will he be assessed regarding needing care?
If he can't go home will he stay in hospital or will they send him to a care home?

He is a bit confused but reasonably lucid.

I am hoping he will sell his house & get a supported housing type flat, but I'm trying to navigate this with no experience of these situations?!

I have spoken to him for years about moving & getting a plan in place for care BEFORE he needs it. But my worst fear is now being realised & I don't know what will happen now?!

Any advice or knowledge is gratefully received!

Hole is correct. Do NOT let the older person’s dictate what they want and expect everyone else to make it happen. An old friend of mine nearly had a breakdown over her stroppy Mum and caring for her. When she eventually got POA she discovered that her Mum had stated 3 years before that she didn’t need any help when social services offered some help. Stated that her daughter insisted on doing everything herself. Issue was that she never told her daughter….

And there is the difference , children are important the elderly are not in the eyes of the NHS . Frankly once you hit 65 you take your life in your hands going into many hospitals .

There is so much to think about based on all that you have said.
I'm so sorry for people who have shared their experiences of how shit & over-stretched services are. God, it's depressing.

It's somewhat more complex because my dad is a very difficult character & is virtually a hermit (entirely his own choice).
He loathes change of any sort & has a rigid routine that he doesn't like to be altered.
He will resist change at all cost, even when it's plainly in his best interests.

I am aware of not overstepping because he likely to be assessed as having capacity.
It's just so maddening that we could have had this sorted after his aortic aneurysm surgery, which was an enormous surgery.

Lots of decisions are being taken out of his hands right now (can't get out to smoke, can't physically leave the hospital, etc) & I do think he's quite confused from the head injury & heart attacks...I question whether he has had some sort of minor stroke?

I will be super assertive about what we can offer in terms of care. The will is there to offer care for my dad, but my sister's partner has cancer & I live a long way away with caring responsibilities at home + my own business with long hours.

I am rambling now...it's been a long day!

We’re having something similar with MiL who’s in hospital.

We live 4 hours away and made it clear to all staff that the house was unsafe for her to return to without support and DFiL was unable to help with her care needs. We’re having to push push push to make them realise we can’t cope without support despite MiL insisting she would be ok.

We refer to unsafe and failed discharges during each conversation. DH also makes a point of writing everything down during our conversations with medical staff.

MiL was deemed to have capacity to make decisions but we disagreed (not just with her decisions, but with her capacity to make them).

We’re currently battling on but I picked up lots good tips from threads like these, so I wish you lots of strength and luck.

It's a horrible situation that lots of people find themselves and unfortunately there isn't an easy answer

Try and take care of yourself

Surely that is abuse

When my Mum was sent home from hospital we discovered that her 80 year old partner who had dementia, balance issues and heart difficulties amongst other things was an integral part fo her care plan.
When I questioned it I was told that they were asked if he helped her sometimes (he made her a cuppa occasionally) and he said he did.
You have to really get your strop on to make sure they get care that is even vaguely adequate

@Nsky62

Surely that is abuse

Perfectly normal apparently.

It's absolutely disgusting isn't it and the same story is told repeatedly. We all know the system is broken but the decisions hospitals make in order to discharge patients are shocking.