Can we cancel charity direct debits? If so, how?

[WhiteboardMarker]

I’d really appreciate some help on this please

Dad has dementia, he’s got several DDs set up for charities but he needs carers, which obviously he’ll have to pay for and he just can’t afford the charity payments any more

If I ring his bank they won’t speak to me will they?

You can use the same number as verification on the online banking - both mine and my husbands use the same contact number (this is nationwide).

Yes to third party access, but that requires your dad to give consent. Set up the online baking in your mums number and email and then you keep the password to log on with her and cancel it. But you need advice if he’s got no capacity now

Re PoA my understanding is that he just needs to understand it at a simple level. He doesn’t need to know who the prime minister is or what year it is, just that you are helping him and will be able to do things and make decisions on his behalf.

Talk to Age UK or similar.

Get him fixed up with online banking, I did it for my dad during covid and was able to do all his banking admin for him. Very helpful in the run up to his death as well I might add when he was too ill and just told us to deal with everything.

Bottom line is you're acting in his best interests

Not sure why it wouldn't work? My sis has MH issues so I set up an account online for her with same bank as I'm at. As long as you have their email / phone access you can do it. I then just have two sets of login details saved to my phone. (Please note my sis was with me when I did this and with full knowledge, she just struggles doing paperwork and organising things)

When I've phoned for my elderly parent I say: "I'm here with my mum she wants help to sort out some direct debits please. Is it ok if I put her on she can give permission".

And then I put it on speaker. The woman says 'Mrs D A do you give permission to your daughter to discuss this with me'. I say to my parent 'say yes'. That gets said, and I get on with it.

Is he capable of doing that?

I access my DF's online banking and email account with his permission. I set it all up for him so I know all the log ons and passwords.

We both use the same bank, you could just set up a new email address for him and do it that way?

I have also pretended to be both of my parents on the phone at various times to sort out mobile phone problems. As long as you answer confidently, and can answer all the security questions, they just go along with it. I did wobble a bit at saying my name was Terence, it's not exactly a gender neutral name.

Not sure that would work on a bank though, you'd hope they'd do more checks.

I really do appreciate your input folks

Mum is long since gone, Dad doesn’t have email, he’s got a very basic mobile which he no longer uses

Two charities have done it straight away, one has point blank refused, 3 are ‘ringing me back’. Yeah bet they will

This is so frustrating!

I feel like saying to them “So you’re telling me that you’re refusing to cancel a donation from a vulnerable pensioner who can’t speak for himself and can’t afford to pay any more, is that right?” But I don’t want to be an arse about it

Honestly I could cry 😢

CrotchetyQuaver yes you’re spot on I’m acting in his best interests but you wouldn’t think so from some of these calls I’ve made. I understand they don’t want to lose the donations but they just read parrot fashion from a script

As a longer term solution, you should apply to the Court of Protection to become his deputy. There is a lot of useful information and contacts here:

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/legal-financial/deputy-dementia#content-start

You need to get POA sorted asap

If he still has enough capacity to say (when asked) who he wants to look after his, then you should still be OK.

If this is not done, and he needs eg to move in to a care home, or you need new major outlay and possible means testing for LA support, you are going to be up shit creek without a paddle, and may need to apply to the Court Of Protection (which is a detailed application, with many stages, slow and very, very bureaucratic)

Yes, there are some short term work-arounds given on the thread.

But please also use the need to end most/all of his charity direct debits as the spur to get this properly sorted

Who has refused? Name the bastards!

We did the same as @DeliciousApples

Would he be capable of signing his name? Type a letter get him to sign it and pop it in a post box?

However do apply for guardianship or whatever it's called where you are. I think England, Scotland and NI have slightly different processes.

There are also these people to help get vulnerable people of charity contact lists:
https://fundraisingpreference.org.uk/home

But charities only voluntarily abide by their code.

Can I name and shame them on here? Is that allowed?

Looking at my list, the - now 2 - who have refused aren’t ‘big’ charities but 2 ‘big’ ones are yet to ring me back, and probably won’t even though they said they would

if you have his bank details and an email address, just get his online banking set up. Then you can cancel the direct debits from the bank account which will be easier. Being in the same bank will not be a problem.

Can your dad still sign his name? If so do it the old fashioned way, type a letter to the charities who aren't playing ball, and get him to sign it.

If he can't sign his name, write a letter for him and send it to the charities, emphasising your father's vulnerability. You should get further up the food chain with a letter than someone on the phone working from a script.

Contact the charity or email them.

Or create onine log in for dads bank and stop the DD

My Dad has had some success with online chats rather than in person but not sure about banks!

Whatever the outcome of this, if you are his only advocate you're going to have to grit your teeth and look into becoming his deputy. https://www.gov.uk/become-deputy

I would set up an email address for him and use it to set up online banking.

This is where you're going wrong, OP.

You should want to be the biggest arse imaginable about this.

Try calling them back and saying that you're appalled that they would take advantage of a vulnerable pensioner with dementia in this way and that if those direct debits aren't cancelled immediately you will be naming and shaming them all over social media.

Why can't you just set up an email account with your dad's name and then use that to register for online banking?

Realistically you're going to need it in the future anyway if he has dementia, you will likely eventually have POA. You might as well sort the online banking now so you can get onto it.

Just create a free gmail account in his name and get a cheap SIM for a number you can use for him.