Hospital facilities in final days (possible TW)

[BibbityBobbityToo]

Hello,

I want to ask about the final days of sitting the hospital just waiting for some one to pass away so please don't read on if this will upset you.

MIL is in the very last stages of Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer's and is really going downhill, I think the end is nearing. (this will be a blessing to be honest as her soul left years ago.)

When the time comes for the family to be around her in the hospital do they provide e g tea/coffee/sandwiches/chairs/blankets for the family as well? I'm basically trying to come up with a grab bag of things as I'm sure the call to bring family in (me/DH) will be soon and I would hate to forget something important and one of us having to nip out to a shop for supplies assuming it's not the middle of the night (we are rural and no shops near the hospital either). I remember my parents sat around for 4 days for my Grandad and I have a fear of being desperate for a drink or food and not being able to get something and we're not exactly young ourselves.

This will be UK hospital and although they do have a palliative care unit I don't think that isn't used for elderly passing away due to old age, it's more for people with end if life cancer care. I think it would be a side room in the main ward.

Thanks

Ddad died in hospital. DSIS asked if he could be moved to a hospice but the doctor said that the act of moving him might mean that he would due mid transfer and did we really want him to die in a bed or in the back of an ambulance? We decided to leave him in hospital where he was warm and comfortable as could be and not in the cold as he would have been as he was put into the ambulance.

The only thing I would say is if you've gone home to rest just throw some clothes on and dash . DH and I were staying the night with DM when she got the call about 7am. DH and I just got dressed and were ready to go in minutes. It was DM we were waiting for, as she insisted on having a wash, brush her teeth and dig out clean clothes. We missed dDad going by a matter of minutes.

I think it's vanishingly unlikely your loved one would be moved from care home to hospital.

My mother is in a care home with late stage dementia and recently had a suspected stroke, and the paramedics were called. The paramedic spoke to me and very firmly said they would not take her to the hospital (I completely agreed with him). She is far too frail to withstand or benefit from treatment, and she was better off remaining in the care home. The care home staff and her GP said exactly the same. Someone with late stage dementia who has had a stroke needs to die in peace in familiar surroundings.

If you have LPOA for health then i think you need very clear guidelines of treatment options agreed with the care home. Are you happy for IV's, nasal ng feeds, CT scans etc? Is it residential, emi or nursing? For me I would like to be a 'not for escalation' in the event of a large stroke or heart attack.

My nan was moved to a side room when they deemed her 'ens of life'. I was never offered a cup of tea, they were rushed off their feet tbh. There was a cafe and shop downstairs though so we could get snacks and drinks. She was moved to a care home for her last days which was better and quieter. Sending strength xx

We took it in turns to sit with my Dad so he always had someone with him and we were allowed in and out any time. We were allowed more than one person although it was awkward because we were on a ward as he had to leave his private room, so I don't think they would've allowed the whole family. Whoever was there was allowed to eat his meals ourselves, although we didn't get offered drinks as the curtain was drawn. We were given an armchair that lays flat and a blanket for whoever was doing the overnight shift.

My DDad was in hospital for 5 days before passing. Initially A&E but then moved into his own room as he was end of life care. No offer of anything for family but we used the hospital cafe. We didn’t stay over mainly as my mum is v frail but I did the night he passed (just had a feeling it was imminent). Lovely evening nurse got me a mattress and offered tea. I would take soft drinks and lots of snacks. Blankets, pillow if staying over.

There's no protocol as such but they will usually offer from the patient tea trolly once or twice a day. You can go to the hospital coffee shop and bring back. Or pop to the canteen.
Patients are sometimes discharged to a care home with a palliative plan too for end of life.

End of life care usually means all active treatment withdrawn and just medication by injection for comfort such as morphine.

Sorry this is happening... I've stopped by to say that as a community nurse that has previously started out as a care assistant in a nursing home, I stand by the opening of a window after death to set their spirit free.

I’m a doctor in an elderly specialty. In your situation I would speak to the GP to agree a clear Palliative ‘treatment escalation plan’ for your relative not to be admitted to a hospital unless it was needed for symptom control eg sometimes after a fall surgery for fracture might be considered for pain relief . It sounds like infections / heart attack or stroke should be treated with nursing care only in the care home and do not need admission to hospital with the aim of prolonging life. Your GP can advise on this but all too often this is omitted and the elderly die in unfamiliar hospital environments .

In all the wards that I have worked on, staff try to give end of life patients a side room with room for an arm chair for the family member but this is not always possible . I would not expect blankets or a camp bed. Staff are actively told not to offer food or drinks to relatives but a kindly soul might rule break to make you a cuppa.

@doodleschnoodle that is very beautiful -