Where do we go from here?

[GnomeDePlume]

Up until 4 weeks ago DM(85) was doing fine. Lived alone in a bungalow with family member close by calling in regularly (most days) for general chit chat.

Then she took a fall and broke her leg requiring surgery.

In these 4 weeks DM has declined so much. Her short-term memory is shot. She has stopped eating, she still chooses food but then just pushes it around a bit without managing more than a mouthful. She still drinks water but isn't interested in any other drink (she used to be a big tea drinker).

DM is now in a ward waiting for discharge to another hospital where she will do some physiotherapy.

It all seems too little, too late. She isn't getting out of bed. Her world has shrunk from bungalow, well tended garden, clubs, to the tray over her bed.

Is there any coming back?

I'm not sure what answers I'm looking for. It all feels a bit miserable at the moment.

Oh dear. I sympathise so much. The last couple of years of my mum’s life with periods of relative calm punctuated by life or death crises gave me extreme anxiety. Even unsolicited phone calls can set me off years later. It is a rollercoaster. I do hope you’re managing to look after yourself, and I know it’s hard.

@GnomeDePlume how scary for you all. Glad that it was resolved quickly, but yes it often seems that they’re determined to kill US off first!

My dad has another appointment to try without a catheter. It’s his 3rd one, they normally only allow 2 attempts but dad pushed really hard to have another one. I can’t see it going well, last time he nearly ended up back in hospital because he refused to let them out it back in and ended up in agony unable to pass urine and they had to call the District Nurse at 11pm to come and put another one in.

Have you/DB asked them to phone you if she refuses to go to bed? I wouldn't expect to get a call from the home about that. So what if she won't go to bed, she can sit in a chair all night. That's not uncommon in care homes. Dealing with people 'hiding' behind curtains is part of the bread and butter of dealing with dementia patients. Did they expect you to go along at night and help with it?

She’s certainly keeping you on your toes! Glad it was resolved fairly quickly. The phone ringing still gives me anxiety now.

I totally get that feeling of anxiety. DB and I only communicate by text normally. A phone call means trouble.

That is so horrible for your DF. I know my DM hated hers. Though to be honest she seems less aware of it now.

@helpfulperson I think the issue was that DM was in her wheelchair. DM can't walk at all but frequently forgets this especially when distressed or half awake.

If she sleeps in her chair then there is a genuine risk that she will wake up, try to walk and take a fall.

Turns out that the hypo follows hard on a change of diabetes medication prescribed by her GP (without any blood sugar testing). Honestly, her GP is a menace.

Hi @GnomeDePlume I went awol and deactivated my account 🙃
Hence slightly different user name...
How are things with you and your family?
My mother is intent on going home to get out in her garden because we've had sunshine.

I am going to look into live in carers, or at least overnight cover, but would really rather she stayed put!

How is everyone else doing? 🌻