How to face the next ten years without getting really depressed about witnessing parents dementia deterioration?

[falstaff1980]

I know I should feel grateful and there's a lot worse off people, but I still feel really low about what the rest of my life has in store. I'm about to turn 50, my mother has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer's (my dad died last year), and now I can see I'm going to have a front row seat watching my mother's decline over probably the next 10 years, and then after that I'll be old myself and watching my own decline.

I do have kids, but I don't want to be one of these old people who are just vicariously living through their children and only talking about them with other people.

Sorry to lower the mode of the forum, but hoping other's might have faced this and found a way to feel alive again and be enthusiastic about things.

They were kind of crabby with each other when I was growing up, and now he guards her like she was the crown jewels.

That's really lovely @RoundAgain

We are now staring down this slope for DM. She is 85, recently fell and is now recovering in hospital from a fractured femur.

The way her memory has declined is frightening, especially her short-term memory.

Thankfully we have LPAs in place. The big decision is whether she will be able to go back to her bungalow. DB and I are now looking at what the next steps might be.

The big problem is that we aren't a close family. I tend to think of it as middle class dysfunction. We are polite to each other. We will do right by mum out of a sense of duty. There will be no stinting on the provision of care.

I really identify with this type of middle class dysfunction!
Mum is in early stages dementia and managing with carers at home - for now. My sister and I are splitting duties between us ( health, financial etc).