Registering baby with one name but using another

[Chowtime]

Can anyone explain the reason behind the generational (people now approx 70 and older) thing whereby parents used to register their children with one name but call them by another?

I worked in care homes for years and noticed it was very prevalent then - someone called Ann all her life whose registered name was Margaret for example.

Obviously their parents weren't alive to ask them about this but I wondered if anyone else here knows the reasoning behind this.

Thanks.

Thank you!

Old English also had meregrot which translated as sea pebble.

My aunt was called Sybil but hated it and called herself Pat.

Lots of people I know have been named for grandparents but then use their middle name as the one they are known by. Including John who surprised us all at his wedding when we discovered his 1st name was Herbert. And Jayne whose 1st name was Sarah. And Elizabeth who was actually Jane. My dad had a very unusual 1st name but was always called Sam. No, his name wasn't Sam at all.

Oh that made me cry. I could never convince the otherwise lovely care home staff to stop using my father’s long form name, that he’d never been known by. He had dementia, and probably had no idea who they were talking to when they used his full name.

How sad. And how unnecessary. It's surprising that care homes and hospitals aren't more sensitive to the issue. Another thing that can happen is that a person may have chosen to use a different name later in life and then forget this and need an earlier one using.

My aunt has a long first name but was known as Ann from birth because it was "too fancy".

It's not just old people - DH and I both use middle names. I'm mid-30s - all through labour with my two DCs, the staff called me by the wrong name. Before we get really old, we plan to change them by deed poll so our NHS records get updated and we don't have to remember all of the different people that we are in different places.

I think it was more common back then for children to use a different name if there were multiple people with the same name at their school. My grandmother was one of several with her first name at her school and was encouraged to start using her middle name. She doesn’t like her middle name so refused. I imagine these days it wouldn’t be acceptable to tell a child to use a different name because there is another one in the class.

My mum goes by a different name as people couldn't pronounce her real name.
My OH goes by a different name. His birth certificate name was after an uncle but his everyday name was after a family friend!

I'm 61 and have always been know by my middle name.
I have 3.
It's actually quite a pain sometimes but very handy for cold calls as nobody calls me by my first name if they know me.
It came from my father as he would call by the first 2 names together when first born then just used the 2nd. And it stuck.

He then did the same thing to my sister when she was born but my mother refused as she loved the first name but he often called her by her 2nd.

Both my parents are passed away now and I never thought to ask why!

My brother was always known by his first name though.

@Chowtime I remember being confused when i heard the queen mother called her husband albie!! he was prince albert but was crowned King George!! why, just why, was he not called king albert?????

There were shortenings that people don't recognise as shortenings any more. Daisy for Margaret for example. Polly for Mary.

And it was also much more common for people to be named after living relatives- so a second name for "everyday". Also some Christians have baptismal names or confirmation names. And Catholics were often called Mary-Something with the Something as the name used.

@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld I think there's an (unofficial) rule that no kings will be called King Albert because Queen Victoria was so annoyed that her beloved Albert could only be Prince not King.
I'm sure I read somewhere that if Charles had become King much earlier in his life he wanted to be King George VII rather than Charles III.
Queen Victoria's first name wasn't even Victoria.

With my dad it was because my gran liked a name but it wasn't a biblical name so could be christened with it as his first name so it was his middle name and his first name was a biblical name which was acceptable with the church. Day to day he's know by his middle name

My gran was one of 10 or so, not sure!
Every one of them was known by their middle name, no idea why!

In my family back in the day I believe the mums came under pressure from their MILs to name their oldest son after paternal relatives, so they would name their children Grandadname NameIactuallywant, and the kids would be called NameIactuallywant (apart from by MIL probably). So not so much middle name to differentiate them from the others with the same name, but middle name because the mum had been pressurised into giving a first name she didn't really like. Or so I am told!

My uncle was registered Leonard Owen but always called Peter! I think a neighbour said, 'he's the spitting image of my Peter!' and it stuck. My dad was named after his own dad, so was called by his middle name, and his sister was called Margaret but always called Marnie. My generation and our kids have normal names, all called by our first names or a diminutive of our first names.

It's quite common for those whose families originated in the Caribbean to be called a different name from what is on their birth certificate, known as a call name.
Many in my husband's family have a call name, him included.

My aunt has a long first name but was known as Ann from birth because it was "too fancy". There’s a lovely bit in an Agatha Christie where a lady refers to her maid Ellen “But isn’t her name Helen?” “That’s a totally inappropriate name for a servant. What were her parents thinking of?” (Lovely as a bit of social history, I mean, not, obviously, lovely as a sentiment)

I'm sure I read somewhere that if Charles had become King much earlier in his life he wanted to be King George VII rather than Charles III. Yes. He didn’t feel the fate of Charles I was a good omen.

His brother Edward VIII was Edward Albert Christian George Andrew Patrick David, and to family and friends known as David. Presumably at least partly because there were a lot of Edwards in the family at the time.

I’ve worked with several people who use their middle names and had always been known by those names

one of my elderly relatives was known as Queenie - it was years before I found out her given name was Mary - who was queen during her childhood. I used to work at a day unit for people with dementia. We had a particularly favourite patient called Henry. He had attended for years and always responded to Henry. Then one of his relatives asked who this Henry was we kept talking about - was he a friend of their Harry ?

Love that about Queenie @MissMuffetisin ! When I teach Jekyll and Hyde, the kids are always confused to learn that Harry is a nickname for Henry (and invariably turn to the two Harry's in the class!!)

My grandpa was christened John but his nickname was Jack and everyone called him that. Which I don't understand as it has the same number of syllables 🤣

My grandmother was Beryl Maureen known as Bett, her sister was Sylvia May, known as Peg. No explanation was ever given.

@rickandmorts Jack is traditionally short for John.

My GM was Sarah but always called Sally by her sisters. No idea why.

The truly baffling one to me was a lad at school; official name ‘Alan John Smith’, known as ‘John’ as dad’s first name was also ‘Alan’ (not the actual names). Never understood why they didn’t use ‘John’ with ‘Alan’ as middle name instead of giving him the same first name and middle name as his dad in the first place!